Is my relationship doomed to fail?

[Broken Man]

First and foremost, hello there my name is Gary and I live in the United States.

There is nothing that interesting about me other than I played in punk rock band during my college days, other than that I just work weekends at a grocery store.

Anyway, I am in a long distance relationship with my beautiful fiancé Laura who lives in England and we have been best friends since 2013 (11 years ago), we met through a Facebook group for mental health awareness and since then we’ve always had a strong bond and during the whole COVID-19 pandemic back in 2020, we both became a lot closer and would video call each other every single day and during that time we fell in love and began dating each other. 

We do have an age gap (she’s about to be 29 and I’m 35) and a lot of people are very judgemental about it (despite her being over 18 when we first became friends) but her friends and family all love me and think I’m a decent man, like I don’t abuse any drugs, I respect the law, I grew up in a strict Christian household so I’ve always been well behaved as a child growing up and despite me working at a grocery store I always studied hard throughout college and high school.

So recently, Laura has become very distance with me, we are always on the phone to each other everyday and we would often watch movies together on Netflix during a video call or we would play a video game on Xbox and have fun in a party chat with our friends.

Obviously it is hard for us to find activities together since we are physically in front of each other and I am already saving money to move to England to be with her but she just doesn’t want to do anything with me anymore, she always wants to play that Candy Crush game on her phone or listen to her music and even though sex is not important I do know sometimes intimacy helps keep a strong bond between partners and I’ve noticed she’s also not showing any interest in anything sexual wise. 

Again, sex is not important to me, it’s more of the fact I feel as though she no longer finds me attractive or is interested in someone else.

Sometimes she would brag or boast about other men she finds attractive and I also found out from a mutual friend that Laura had even been writing her own fantasy novels and by fantasy novels I mean erotica fan fiction. 

Should I be worried? 

She even doesn’t text me anymore when she is at work and obviously I respect that she works full time at the hospital and that she is not super glued to her phone but usually she always sends me a text here and there letting me know how her day is going and that she misses me and loves me.

Any thoughts?

This is my first time here on Love Shack so I apologize if anything I have said here has broken the rules or if my post is in the wrong section.

[Gebidozo]

I’m sorry, but if she isn’t interested in you sexually and brags about finding other men attractive, she isn’t in love with you anymore. 

Long-distance relationships are very hard to sustain, especially over the course of so many years.

I think that, perhaps, it would be best for you to gently break up with her and find someone who lives close to you.

[ExpatInItaly]

How often do you see each other in person?

[Els]

29 and 35 is not really an age gap. 6 years in your 30s and late 20s is nothing.

How many times have you two visited each other in person, and how much time have you spent together in-person?

[ShyViolet]

Have you ever met this woman in person at all?

[basil67]

I agree that given you're both mature, this age gap is nothing.  

From what you write, I think she's becoming distant.  How often have you visited each other?  It's very difficult to maintain love in a relationship where you're not seeing each other face to face.   Also, it's not terribly easy to immigrate to the UK - are you familiar with the approvals process?