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Partner's friend was rude


Chicken Dinner

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Unless you have to be around this guy again or your partner asks what you thought about him and/or brings him up more than just in passing, I wouldn't have mentioned him to her at all.  Sometimes people are rude or weird for a reason that has absolutely nothing to do with the person they are being rude to.  Those times are when you just let it go, it's not worth the energy to give it a second thought.    

We all have "traumas" or at least sensitivities caused by previous experiences.  It is our job to deal with them on our own and not bring our partners into it unless they have done/said something to trigger our reaction.  If I had received a text from my partner like you sent to yours, I would have seen it as you making the talent event about you, I would not have found it to be supportive, or anything I needed to respond to.  

 

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MsJayne
4 hours ago, Chicken Dinner said:

I question why she'd be friends with these people.

Some people are more concerned with the number of friends they have rather than the quality of those friends. I would say this is a clash of values and it's something to think about, because if it's bothering you enough that you felt compelled to mention it to your GF, it's bothering you a lot. I guess from her point of view your text may have peeved her because she'd be wondering why you focused on one small negative incident, but it sounds like it's part of a much bigger ongoing issue. I've got this mental image of a female amateur performer who drums up as many people as she can to watch her perform so she gets some applause, or maybe she gets some form of reward for bringing people into the venue, so she probably doesn't care who turns up as long as there's some seats filled. Most performers have quite an ego on them, and they don't care who's applauding as long as someone is. How many people did she invite? I ask because it's relevant to how impacted you were by Rude Unfriendly Guy. If you were a table of six then yes, a person who's not speaking to anyone would make things awkward, but if there were twenty people then he's easily ignored and not worth pissing on let alone getting upset about. If he was a close friend, ( I assume he's not or you would have met him before now), it would be a problem, but it sounds more like he's someone she barely knows and was invited to fill a seat. For all you know she may not have mentioned other people were coming, or that she had a BF, and he may have mistaken her invite for romantic interest, and then when he got there he realised he was just a seat filler and was suitably crapped off, hence his negativity. Or maybe he suffers with some huge social anxiety. People are stand-offish for a variety of reasons. I think the reason you sent that text is that somehow the interlude with the RUG highlighted 'something' about your GF that you find repugnant. What is that "something"?  :) 

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