How do I know if I'm being abused?

[Chachii]

I met this guy last test July when he visited my country. I’ve visited him twice since then and both times things didn’t go so well. On the last occasion I told him I was coming to see him but he stood me up at the airport. Just as I landed, he texted me that couldn’t come and get me. I got upset with him and told him he was unbelievable because it seemed like he was at home watching TikTok while I was calling his phone from the airport and he wouldn’t answer. He came to see me at the hotel later that day and explained that he had to work (he’s in the military but he knew he was assigned to work since the night before) and he left his phone open on TikTok at the time I called. We ended up hooking up but that was the last time I saw him. He told me would return later that night but he never did. He even came in me and when I asked him to get a plan b, he just scuffed. The next day I spent most of it finding out if he would come to see me and he kept saying that he would after he fixed a bike (he’s a mechanic also) but he never showed. I got upset again and texted him how disappointed I was about the situation but I deleted the messages because I didn’t want to fight, just spend time with him. So I just texted him good morning the day after. However, I guess he took it the wrong way because he replied with “hi” and he never responded to any of my texts or calls after that. I spent the next two weeks begging him to talk to me. Eventually he responded and we started talking again. He told me he didn’t like how I behaved, I gave him ‘fatal’ vibes and he didn’t like that I was waiting for him to come and see me rather going and exploring the country. The way we talk has changed drastically too. He told me doesn’t like greeting me good morning anymore because I say it first and his replies are mostly once or twice throughout the day. However, there have been times where we connected. We had a moment where he told me he missed me, he wanted to hold and kiss me and that he even enjoys when we are together. Yesterday, after he told about the good morning thing, he just v popped back up with kiss emoji and started talking to me like normal. I went from feeling so low to feeling high. This is how it always feels with him. It feels like a roller coaster with him. Is this abusive? Was I wrong for getting upset with him when I visited him? I repeatedly told him I was sorry because I felt bad about getting upset but I didn’t think leaving me stranded at the airport and hotel was ok.

[basil67]

Answered in your other thread