ExpatInItaly Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 16 hours ago, em2001ily said: No....sometimes we just want an ego boost/some flattery!! You need to find your validation elsewhere. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 On 6/15/2024 at 10:03 PM, em2001ily said: I'm not interested in him, did you not read the question? It's pretty obvious that you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author em2001ily Posted June 22 Author Share Posted June 22 On 6/21/2024 at 9:28 PM, NuevoYorko said: Well ... I'm sure there are a lot of other married men you can get to pay attention to you in a similar fashion. They're probably flattered by your sort of desperate flirting as well. Since they're married, though, they will ultimately not be available for flirting with you any further. It would get boring I imagine. Hopefully you won't need to start a thread about "WHY" every time that happens. It just comes with the territory I guess. I don't 'desperately' flirt with anyone. This guy, who happens to be my landlord, started to be chatty/friendly and I was also chatty back. To be honest, I didn't really even think of it as 'flirting' until people started to use that word on this thread....I just liked his attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Author em2001ily Posted June 22 Author Share Posted June 22 5 hours ago, stillafool said: It's pretty obvious that you are. No, I am definitely not interested in pursuing him. Liking someone's attention does not mean you want to pursue them, particularly not when they are about 20 years older than you and, more importantly, married, and three, your landlord. Link to post Share on other sites
Author em2001ily Posted June 22 Author Share Posted June 22 On 6/21/2024 at 10:06 PM, Alpacalia said: Why him, though? He's a married landlord. Surely there are others that aren't connected to you with such an entangled dynamic. Or, maybe because it feels safe to you given the dynamic? What is it inside you that craves this particularl man's attention? I don't know- there's just something about him.... Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 OK. Well, I hope you got the answers you were looking for here. Or maybe you were just putting some lackluster bait out for us because you "like the attention"? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author em2001ily Posted June 22 Author Share Posted June 22 7 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: OK. Well, I hope you got the answers you were looking for here. Or maybe you were just putting some lackluster bait out for us because you "like the attention"? Hahhaah no, this really happened and I didn't have anyone to vent to in real life! Except my parents... Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 24 minutes ago, em2001ily said: I don't know- there's just something about him.... It's hard to raise self-esteem. But each time you behave in accordance with your inner wise voice, you raise your self-esteem. For example, your inner self knows that crushing on a married man that is your landlord is a fool's errand. So now you listen to it. Is it worth lowering your self-esteem for a bit of attention from your landlord? Maybe spending more time with loved ones can help alleviate any feelings of being unheard during conversations. Your actions and emotions can reveal what truly needs improvement rather than relying on a fleeting infatuation. This crush may be temporarily satisfying, but it's not a long-term solution. Acknowledge this and search for more practical solutions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 1 hour ago, em2001ily said: No, I am definitely not interested in pursuing him. Liking someone's attention does not mean you want to pursue them, particularly not when they are about 20 years older than you and, more importantly, married, and three, your landlord. It doesn't matter if he's older, you've already said "there's something about him" and "you like the ego boost and flattery" he provides you. That is why I asked you if you have a boyfriend because you seem thirsty for male attention and that could be why you like this man's attention. Whereas if you had your own boyfriend it would be doubtful you'd fall for his gestures. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 57 minutes ago, em2001ily said: Hahhaah no, this really happened and I didn't have anyone to vent to in real life! Except my parents... Why didn't you vent to your housemate? You do know him, right? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 22 Share Posted June 22 (edited) Given all the recent updates, I think it's safe to say that his wife became very aware of all this and told him to start minding his behaviour Edited June 22 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 23 Share Posted June 23 10 hours ago, em2001ily said: there's just something about him.... Then why do you keep pretending that you have no interest in him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author em2001ily Posted June 24 Author Share Posted June 24 On 6/23/2024 at 8:34 AM, ExpatInItaly said: Then why do you keep pretending that you have no interest in him? I mean no interest in the sense that I have no interest in pursuing any kind of romance! Link to post Share on other sites
Author em2001ily Posted June 24 Author Share Posted June 24 (edited) On 6/22/2024 at 11:38 PM, stillafool said: Why didn't you vent to your housemate? You do know him, right? Because it felt too close for comfort; people talk and it could end up getting back to the landlord in some way. I know and really like my housemates, but not well enough to know I can 100% trust them on anything I feel vulnerable about. Edited June 24 by em2001ily 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 24 Share Posted June 24 On 6/21/2024 at 2:57 PM, em2001ily said: I don't have a boyfriend, but I feel that's not relevant as I'm still not pursuing anything with this married guy. Just because I'm single, doesn't mean I'm interested in a married man. On 6/21/2024 at 2:58 PM, em2001ily said: No....sometimes we just want an ego boost/some flattery!! On 6/21/2024 at 4:11 PM, em2001ily said: Because I liked the flattery. It's relevant because you don't have a man in your own life to give you the ego boost and flattery that you desire. That is why you are flattered by this married man's attention towards you and why you wrote this thread. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author em2001ily Posted June 24 Author Share Posted June 24 9 minutes ago, stillafool said: It's relevant because you don't have a man in your own life to give you the ego boost and flattery that you desire. That is why you are flattered by this married man's attention towards you and why you wrote this thread. Perhaps, yes. Link to post Share on other sites
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