Love a married woman

[Gebidozo]

57 minutes ago, hopefulmusician said:

But, she's already told me that she's planned on leaving him 3xs in the past several years. 

Now it’s 3 times in the past several years, later it will be 10 times in the past 25 years. How long are you planning to wait for something that doesn’t seem to be happening at all?

 

59 minutes ago, hopefulmusician said:

When we get serious about it, she gets scared and says - "it won't go over well.  They'll be violence". 

What exactly does she mean? Has her husband ever been physically violent to her? 
 

1 hour ago, hopefulmusician said:

But I want to know that I tried until I couldn't anymore... does that make any sense to anyone?  

It does, but perhaps the definition of “trying” might differ. You seem to think that “trying” means keeping this vague status quo, which involves deceit, disrespect and humiliation. I think that “trying” can also mean telling the woman that you love her, which means you  want her all for yourself, you don’t want to share her with another man, and therefore are unwilling to be an affair partner and insist that she divorces. If she doesn’t do it then, if she still chooses her husband knowing that she will lose you wholly, that she won’t be able to keep you as a convenient affair partner - what sort of “trying” will have any sense then?