HopefullyLove Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 Hello everyone, My boyfriend of almost a year is considering getting a pit bull that a friend no longer wants. We don’t live together, but he has asked me if this will be a dealbreaker. He has brought it up twice. I really love him and things have been great, but this has me uneasy. I want to discuss this with him further, and I want him to be happy, do you think my uneasiness is warranted? I’m not a dog person, I don’t hate them, but a pit bull? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 There are a number of different dogs which fall into the category of pit bull, and a lot are known for their gentle and loyal temperament. Though due to their strength, it's advised that owners are diligent with training. What breed is he looking at? And is he a responsible person who will dedicate himself to ongoing training and appropriate handling? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 What are your concerns, specifically? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 Depends on how old is the dog and if the dog has a history of being aggressive. When you've never own a dog you don't start with a pit bull. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 7 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: What are your concerns, specifically? Probably being attacked. My 60 year old cousin was keeping her son's 8 month old pitbull for some reason or the other and she loved the dog so much she hired someone to build him a dog house with a run in the back yard for him to enjoy when outside. She put him out and he was having a great time. It started to rain and she went out to bring him back inside because he was getting wet. He didn't want to go inside and when she got him inside and put him in the crate, he bit her hand hard when she went to close it. She was bleeding badly and that sent the dog into a full on attack. He bit her breast really bad and her cheek. Her little grand daughter started yelling and crying and she told her to go in the bedroom and close the door. The little girl had sense of mind to call her dad who happened to be just around the corner. He came over, with a gun, broke through the window and killed his dog who was dragging his mother by the arm at that point. He broke her arm, she had to staying the hospital for the injuries to her breast, hand and face. 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 (edited) 11 hours ago, HopefullyLove said: that a friend no longer wants What reason did the friend give for "no longer wanting" his dog? Has your bf owned a dog before and does he know what is required of him? If he hasn't, and especially if the friend is giving up the dog because the dog was aggressive or caused problems (i.e. because said friend was too lazy to train and socialize the dog properly), it sounds like a recipe for disaster. His intentions sound good, but without further information, it's hard to know if this is a good idea. It could even end up hurting the dog in the long term. Regardless, this sounds like a difficult situation all around. You can't really tell your bf not to volunteer to adopt the dog, because you don't live with him (yet). On the other hand, owning a dog is a 10-15 year responsibility, so if you two are planning for the long term together, he should be considering your opinions seriously. I think you should tell him the truth, that you are uncomfortable with it, and explain your reasons to him. Perhaps you could come to a reasonable compromise together (i.e. that maybe he wouldn't adopt this particular dog, but in the future when you live together you might pay a visit to an animal shelter with him and pick a dog to adopt together?). Edited June 20 by Els 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 Having a breed like that takes on a lot of responsibility. A few people have been killed by those dogs in my city. They jump the fence and go on a rampage. Just last week a neighbor's dog was killed in front of small children by a Pitbull just a block over from me. So IMO your BF doesn't know what he could be getting into. If the dog does hurt or kill someone, he will be held liable, and sued. So ya dealbreaker. Be honest with him. 2 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopefullyLove Posted June 20 Author Share Posted June 20 1 hour ago, Els said: What reason did the friend give for "no longer wanting" his dog? Has your bf owned a dog before and does he know what is required of him? If he hasn't, and especially if the friend is giving up the dog because the dog was aggressive or caused problems (i.e. because said friend was too lazy to train and socialize the dog properly), it sounds like a recipe for disaster. His intentions sound good, but without further information, it's hard to know if this is a good idea. It could even end up hurting the dog in the long term. Regardless, this sounds like a difficult situation all around. You can't really tell your bf not to volunteer to adopt the dog, because you don't live with him (yet). On the other hand, owning a dog is a 10-15 year responsibility, so if you two are planning for the long term together, he should be considering your opinions seriously. I think you should tell him the truth, that you are uncomfortable with it, and explain your reasons to him. Perhaps you could come to a reasonable compromise together (i.e. that maybe he wouldn't adopt this particular dog, but in the future when you live together you might pay a visit to an animal shelter with him and pick a dog to adopt together?). This friend is pregnant and moving to a new state. My bf had a dog as a child that he had through young adulthood, to my knowledge, he hasn't had one since then. He asked me would it be a dealbreaker, and I had to think about it, but we have been talking of our future and I have never had a pet, no desire for one, kinda nervous around pits specifically to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopefullyLove Posted June 20 Author Share Posted June 20 10 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: What are your concerns, specifically? Well, how it will change our relationship, honestly, I will not feel comfortable coming to his home with a pit bull there, granted he comes over to my place more. I know dogs can sense nervousness and I don't want to be like that, but I am not around dogs a lot, I also don't want to live with a pit bull, so it's like we will have anything if this dog comes into the picture. I also wonder if I am being silly and worrying prematurely. He is a very wonderful guy, I was thinking about asking him more in depth about this tonight. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 2 minutes ago, HopefullyLove said: I also wonder if I am being silly and worrying prematurely No you are not being silly. I am a dog lover and I had several dogs in my life and I decided I will not have them anymore. Dogs are not cats, we cannot leave them home while we go over-night to our girlfriend. They are a huge responsibility because if we leave them alone and don't exercise them enough they become destructive. Forget about leaving spontaneously for a weekend or a night, everything will need to be organized around the dog and finding a dog sitter. After work you need to run home right away, there is no staying downtown, or work late, or going to an after hour or going straight to your girlfriend. Then at 5h when you get home of course you don't go out again because the dog has not seen you all day you can't just leave all evening. Having a dog when we're a kid has nothing to do with being a dog owner as an adult. Your boyfriend will have to bring his dog to your home. If he doesn't it's cruel to the dog as your bf spends most his time at yours. See the dilemma? You don't like dogs but at the same time you don't want the dog to spend most his time alone. This dog needs to be re-homed where everybody is onboard with getting a dog and people are home. Dogs are pack animals. They need a pack. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopefullyLove Posted June 20 Author Share Posted June 20 5 minutes ago, Gaeta said: No you are not being silly. I am a dog lover and I had several dogs in my life and I decided I will not have them anymore. Dogs are not cats, we cannot leave them home while we go over-night to our girlfriend. They are a huge responsibility because if we leave them alone and don't exercise them enough they become destructive. Forget about leaving spontaneously for a weekend or a night, everything will need to be organized around the dog and finding a dog sitter. After work you need to run home right away, there is no staying downtown, or work late, or going to an after hour or going straight to your girlfriend. Then at 5h when you get home of course you don't go out again because the dog has not seen you all day you can't just leave all evening. Having a dog when we're a kid has nothing to do with being a dog owner as an adult. Your boyfriend will have to bring his dog to your home. If he doesn't it's cruel to the dog as your bf spends most his time at yours. See the dilemma? You don't like dogs but at the same time you don't want the dog to spend most his time alone. This dog needs to be re-homed where everybody is onboard with getting a dog and people are home. Dogs are pack animals. They need a pack. Thank you! I definitely see what you are saying, it is very similar to having a young child, you can't just move freely as you wish, you always have to consider the dog. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 24 minutes ago, HopefullyLove said: Thank you! I definitely see what you are saying, it is very similar to having a young child, you can't just move freely as you wish, you always have to consider the dog. Your boyfriend asked you twice, what you feel is important to him. You are not being silly, you don't like dogs and it's unfair to the dog & to you. I think the word 'deal breaker' is a bit harsh in this situation, would he really breakup with you over this dog? If I were you, I would play the card the dog deserves a home where everybody is excited and on board with it. That you don't have the life style to offer a proper home to this dog. You will both live a life filled with guilt over the dog, him for leaving the dog alone, you for not being on board with it. Let me tell you, when I'd be done with my bf, he'd feel so bad about the dog he would not get it lol. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 20 Share Posted June 20 (edited) 1 hour ago, HopefullyLove said: Well, how it will change our relationship, honestly, I will not feel comfortable coming to his home with a pit bull there, granted he comes over to my place more. I know dogs can sense nervousness and I don't want to be like that, but I am not around dogs a lot, I also don't want to live with a pit bull, so it's like we will have anything if this dog comes into the picture. I also wonder if I am being silly and worrying prematurely. He is a very wonderful guy, I was thinking about asking him more in depth about this tonight. Why don't you tell him the truth that you are fearful of pit bulls? I am too. Edited June 20 by stillafool 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopefullyLove Posted June 20 Author Share Posted June 20 27 minutes ago, stillafool said: Why don't you tell him the truth that you are fearful of pit bulls? I am too. I will 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: Your boyfriend asked you twice, what you feel is important to him. You are not being silly, you don't like dogs and it's unfair to the dog & to you. I think the word 'deal breaker' is a bit harsh in this situation, would he really breakup with you over this dog? If I were you, I would play the card the dog deserves a home where everybody is excited and on board with it. That you don't have the life style to offer a proper home to this dog. You will both live a life filled with guilt over the dog, him for leaving the dog alone, you for not being on board with it. Let me tell you, when I'd be done with my bf, he'd feel so bad about the dog he would not get it lol. lol, thank you, your perspective is so helpful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 I like Greta’s advice. I had some bad experiences with a big dog in my childhood, this would be an absolute dealbreaker for me. I don’t want to live in a home when I’m terrified of the dog. As Gaeta said, both people need to be on board to get a pet - otherwise you are better to not get a dog. They require a tremendous amount of work and it’s not fair to the dog if you can’t provide the time/care that they need. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 21 Share Posted June 21 @HopefullyLove: How did the conversation go? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopefullyLove Posted July 7 Author Share Posted July 7 On 6/21/2024 at 10:36 AM, Gaeta said: @HopefullyLove: How did the conversation go? We talked about it, the dog ended up staying with it's owner. Sorry for not following up sooner. I appreciate you all! Link to post Share on other sites
dancehead Posted July 17 Share Posted July 17 On 6/20/2024 at 5:18 PM, stillafool said: Probably being attacked. My 60 year old cousin was keeping her son's 8 month old pitbull for some reason or the other and she loved the dog so much she hired someone to build him a dog house with a run in the back yard for him to enjoy when outside. She put him out and he was having a great time. It started to rain and she went out to bring him back inside because he was getting wet. He didn't want to go inside and when she got him inside and put him in the crate, he bit her hand hard when she went to close it. She was bleeding badly and that sent the dog into a full on attack. He bit her breast really bad and her cheek. Her little grand daughter started yelling and crying and she told her to go in the bedroom and close the door. The little girl had sense of mind to call her dad who happened to be just around the corner. He came over, with a gun, broke through the window and killed his dog who was dragging his mother by the arm at that point. He broke her arm, she had to staying the hospital for the injuries to her breast, hand and face. I hope the brute of a dog died. ALL these dangerous dogs should be extinct. There is no reason for them to be bred. They are a menace to society, as are the owners of such dogs. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 17 Share Posted July 17 26 minutes ago, dancehead said: I hope the brute of a dog died Yes, the owner of the dog, my cousin's son, killed his dog. Link to post Share on other sites
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