I tried being a woman but straight men seem to hate me?

[basil67]

15 minutes ago, tdbq said:

I don't approach men IRL I only do that online on a dating site where we've already matched to.minimize criticism. And still they will say I'm a man and that there are transwomen that look prettier than me and whatever else. Etc... and it's been like I get few guys who even will talk to me i might get a chance if i am open its just for sex kind of thing.

If you've already matched with them, it doesn't make sense that men would say this to you.  Sure, you may meet one or two dickheads who are just out to troll women....but I'm not buying that this happens frequently

What do your female friends say about this?

Edited June 20 by basil67

[Gaeta]

I don't beleive there is no place for people like you with online dating unless you live in middle east or north korea. In every western country there are support groups & associations & community centrr for transgender. Here online dating is full of transgenders and people willing to date transgender.

Your posts are full of assomptions. You think Elliot Page doesn't get dates? He's 5'1"

 

[tdbq]

1 minute ago, basil67 said:

If you've already matched with them, it doesn't make sense that men would say this to you.  Sure, you may meet one or two dickheads who are just out to troll women....but I'm not buying that this happens frequently

What do your female friends say about this?

I don't have female friends females don't understand me I don't understand them and that's on the social level. And women love calling me a man more than men do actually sometimes especially if I'm being feminine. My manager who called me sir was a woman. My other manager said when I had a miscarriage I couldn't get pregnant. And like even when I was explaining I was experiencing heavy cramps due to that I was told I was lying by people at my job.

 

I used to have issue with my period so I've had ultrasounds and I only have female reproductive organs but people treat me like I am certainly a biological male.

 

And yeah it's normally where men don't respond they unmatch or if they talk eventually they'll tell me they don't do people like which is meaning I'm a biological man maybe they are repressed bisexuals idk. But they'll imply I'm a man and there's nothing I can do to prove otherwise. Because they don't like my face I guess. And that there are prettier transwomen than me or whatever else. I push too hard I guess and get those results if I didn't push though no one would message me altogether

[tdbq]

9 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I don't beleive there is no place for people like you with online dating unless you live in middle east or north korea. In every western country there are support groups & associations & community centrr for transgender. Here online dating is full of transgenders and people willing to date transgender.

Your posts are full of assomptions. You think Elliot Page doesn't get dates? He's 5'1"

 

Well when I was a teen there was no representation of gay trans men. And I read about the struggles of gay trans men to date men being told you should stay a woman etc... transmen from lesbian communities tend to be allowed more because women are more forgiving and because LGBT community accepted them originally. While for me it's from a point of being perceived as a straight woman to a gay trans man. I've even seen homophobia among transmen towards people like me. And then in my twenties I tried to associate with light spaces I could never fit anywhere because I didn't like women and I wasn't biologically male. So I couldn't fit with gay men or trans men. So I felt out of place. And I've tried online dating slightly as a trans man and I would get hits until they realized I was trans. But life is more than my dating life which seems to struggle either way anyway.

[basil67]

23 minutes ago, tdbq said:

I don't have female friends females don't understand me I don't understand them and that's on the social level

What is there to understand about women?  They are all just people

17 minutes ago, tdbq said:

I could never fit anywhere because I didn't like women 

I'm staring to think that your social skills are a bigger problem than your gender.  How can you not like a whole gender??  Sure, there may be individuals who you don't like, but to dislike half the population...well that's on you

[tdbq]

10 minutes ago, basil67 said:

What is there to understand about women?  They are all just people

I'm staring to think that your social skills are a bigger problem than your gender.  How can you not like a whole gender??  Sure, there may be individuals who you don't like, but to dislike half the population...well that's on you

Because I'm monosexual when I said I didn't like women. I meant sexually. I don't like women. I'm not sexually attracted to them. If I was bisexual. At 12 or 13. I probably would have transitioned because I would have something to work with. Only liking men. Was really hard. And has always been hard. Because of how men seem to treat people who are trans men.

[tdbq]

12 minutes ago, basil67 said:

What is there to understand about women?  They are all just people

I'm staring to think that your social skills are a bigger problem than your gender.  How can you not like a whole gender??  Sure, there may be individuals who you don't like, but to dislike half the population...well that's on you

Man I understand more. But the problem is men many of the time have preconceived notions about me. That just don't work. So if they think I am a woman it comes with a lot of stereotypes that don't apply and if they think I'm a man then there's a lot of anger anyhow. And if they know I'm masculine it's all about trying to break me down as a person.

[basil67]

8 minutes ago, tdbq said:

Man I understand more. But the problem is men many of the time have preconceived notions about me. That just don't work. So if they think I am a woman it comes with a lot of stereotypes that don't apply and if they think I'm a man then there's a lot of anger anyhow. And if they know I'm masculine it's all about trying to break me down as a person.

There are plenty of women who are more masculine than others, but I've never seen women be angry at a woman who's more masculine.  Nor have I seen women trying to break the masculine woman down.  It makes no sense.....I do think there are other issues at play here

Have you seen a psychologist?  Other than gender dysphoria, do you have any other diagnosis?

Edited June 20 by basil67

[tdbq]

11 minutes ago, basil67 said:

There are plenty of women who are more masculine than others, but I've never seen women be angry at a woman who's more masculine.  Nor have I seen women trying to break the masculine woman down.  It makes no sense.....I do think there are other issues at play here

Have you seen a psychologist?  Other than gender dysphoria, do you have any other diagnosis?

It seems like you can't comprehend what I just said. I said that men tend to try to break down masculine women. And I also said that women have anger towards me when I'm trying to be feminine. I don't know where your post came from. I didn't say any of that. 

 

I think maybe you're not familiar with people who are LGBT and so you're confused. And no I never have been diagnosed with anything

[tdbq]

13 minutes ago, basil67 said:

There are plenty of women who are more masculine than others, but I've never seen women be angry at a woman who's more masculine.  Nor have I seen women trying to break the masculine woman down.  It makes no sense.....I do think there are other issues at play here

Have you seen a psychologist?  Other than gender dysphoria, do you have any other diagnosis?

As far as physically I have high estrogen I produce estrogen earlier than other girls. At around 6. I started puberty. So I do have feminine traits. Also it's almost perceived that hyper feminine traits are masculine. I don't know why. Especially ethnic ones

[tdbq]

So how do you make up kind of like over accentuates. To the point where you're kind of taught you can't be feminine.

[Gaeta]

1 hour ago, tdbq said:

And I've tried online dating slightly as a trans man and I would get hits until they realized I was trans

You need to own who you are and present yourself as a transman. What you're doing is misrepresentation and that's the part people don't like.

Exemple when l was online chatting with someone l found attractive and they told me the age on their profile was not their right age that completely turned me off. Their age was not the problem, their misrepresentation was the turn off. All that rejection you're doing it to yourself. Put on your profile transgender man looking male companion.

[basil67]

7 minutes ago, tdbq said:

It seems like you can't comprehend what I just said. I said that men tend to try to break down masculine women. And I also said that women have anger towards me when I'm trying to be feminine. I don't know where your post came from. I didn't say any of that. 

 

I think maybe you're not familiar with people who are LGBT and so you're confused. And no I never have been diagnosed with anything

My niece is a trans female.  My best friend is a woman who teeters on the edge of non-binary.  One of my daughter's best friends is trans female and is very welcome in our home.  I have gay friends and family.  I have marched in the Pride parades.  

While it doesn't bother me, I certainly understand some women being uncomfortable with a transwoman in their bathrooms.  What I cannot comprehend is women being angry at you, a biological women, for dressing feminine.  What do these women actually say?   Who are the women that say this? 

Edited June 20 by basil67

[basil67]

15 minutes ago, tdbq said:

. Also it's almost perceived that hyper feminine traits are masculine.

I googled hyper feminine and came up with Barbie, Taylor Swift and Bridgerton. I imagine Harijuku also falls into this category.   How is this perceived as masculine?  

Edited June 21 by basil67

[tdbq]

16 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

You need to own who you are and present yourself as a transman. What you're doing is misrepresentation and that's the part people don't like.

Exemple when l was online chatting with someone l found attractive and they told me the age on their profile was not their right age that completely turned me off. Their age was not the problem, their misrepresentation was the turn off. All that rejection you're doing it to yourself. Put on your profile transgender man looking male companion.

I don't look like a real man I don't feel enough to pass I feel like gay men would laugh at me unless I used like face app to gender swap I have a lot of insecurities about my outer appearance not being male enough. But you're right but the curious thing to me is how they know when I never say I identify as a man I say I'm a woman they just don't believe me when interacting with me. Then I feel I'm not hiding how I feel enough but you're right maybe I shouldn't be hiding maybe it runs people the wrong way

[tdbq]

31 minutes ago, basil67 said:

My niece is a trans female.  My best friend is a woman who teeters on the edge of non-binary.  One of my daughter's best friends is trans female and is very welcome in our home.  I have gay friends and family.  I have marched in the Pride parades.  

While it doesn't bother me, I certainly understand some women being uncomfortable with a transwoman in their bathrooms.  What I cannot comprehend is women being angry at you, a biological women, for dressing feminine.  What do these women actually say?   Who are the women that say this? 

Different women honestly John just don't accept me into the female clique others literally just call me a man but I'm just not really like them.

[tdbq]

29 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I googled hyper feminine and came up with Barbie, Taylor Swift and Bridgerton. I imagine Harijuku also falls into this category.   How is this perceived as masculine?  

Think Nicki Minaj or Rihanna or even Megan's thee stallion all very feminine presenting

[tdbq]

31 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I googled hyper feminine and came up with Barbie, Taylor Swift and Bridgerton. I imagine Harijuku also falls into this category.   How is this perceived as masculine?  

But they're called trans often whenever leaning into feminine activities 

[tdbq]

31 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I googled hyper feminine and came up with Barbie, Taylor Swift and Bridgerton. I imagine Harijuku also falls into this category.   How is this perceived as masculine?  

Oh also Serena Williams too I hope which have very feminine bodies. Very hourglass body types

[Gaeta]

19 minutes ago, tdbq said:

I don't look like a real man

Do you have a doctor? Are you taking testosterone? Why not?

[tdbq]

35 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I googled hyper feminine and came up with Barbie, Taylor Swift and Bridgerton. I imagine Harijuku also falls into this category.   How is this perceived as masculine?  

I look more similar to Nicki and Megan 

[tdbq]

Just now, Gaeta said:

Do you have a doctor? Are you taking testosterone? Why not?

I haven't because I was trying to live as a woman but when I get my ID I'm going to make plans for it probably in a year because I don't want to transition until after my current job

[basil67]

1 minute ago, tdbq said:

I look more similar to Nicki and Megan 

Meghan Trainor and Nicki Menaj?  In what world would they be mistaken for being masculine or even men?   

That said, Nicki can look really trashy and women tend to have an aversion to other women who look trashy.  Meghan, on the other hand, is always beautifully presented

[Gaeta]

Just now, tdbq said:

I haven't because I was trying to live as a woman but when I get my ID I'm going to make plans for it probably in a year because I don't want to transition until after my current job

So put dating aside. Take care of yourself, you need to self love through this transition. You do not need some online dating clowns to make you feel bad or rejected. Join a support group for people transitioning, it will do you an enormous amount of good to make friends going through the same struggles. They will support you and guide you. All this 'assuming' does no good to you, when you start transitioning and taking your testosterone you will get male features and you will feel better and more confident in who you are.

[tdbq]

6 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Meghan Trainor and Nicki Menaj?  In what world would they be mistaken for being masculine or even men?   

That said, Nicki can look really trashy and women tend to have an aversion to other women who look trashy.  Meghan, on the other hand, is always beautifully presented

Nicki is just black not trashy and I was talking about Megan thee stallion. I'm not talking about their style nor what they do for a living I'm talking about their face their look is hyper feminine and seen as masculine. Someone see that as surgical even though the latter didn't have surgery. But black feminity is just generally seen as fake because when you accentuate it's exaggerated so as someone trying to embrace femininity it backfires. Imo