So in your thirties or forties what age range are you attracted to?

[tdbq]

I only date 20 year old men generally and I'm 30. But I had this weird attraction not like an interest in any regard to pursue said instance is an off limits thing so no actual interest it's just always been where I knew I have a bit of an attraction to said individual who is in their forties. What really set me off though was I guess I don't know what people in their forties look like I didn't know they had white hair sometimes and in that case I thought he was 70 so I felt like i was almost going crazy or something. Because why am I 30 attracted to a 70 year old?

 

 

But anyway it all made sense when I found out he was actually in his forties just to me I can't tell how someone like that is different than someone who is 70. I don't think it is odd for a thirty year old to be attracted to a 40 year old but my thing is how do people in their thirties and forties who find their own age range attractive distinguish from those who are older than them like 50-60-70 age range especially 60's and 70's. Especially those in their forties that look older than their age?

 

 

I'd say generally my age preference is 18/19-34 age range pretty much I like men younger than me but I can manage a couple years older too. Ever so rarely I guess I'm also attracted to 40 year old men too but it's usually more of like a weaker interest that I think is more starting out or whatever. What confuses me as I can't distinguish the two. Types of people.

 

 

My mom is fifty she still looks 28 so it really messed with my perception on age. Also for example I shared that I found the person I am talking about attractive to two other people and they looked at me odd I think because of age. I didn't say he was a nice person or whatever I simply meant physically. Which was odd because they knew I was 30 and that individual was in their 40's I think it's cuz it's to a lot of people I look to be in my twenties. People think I'm younger than 27 many times. But these people literally knew I had just had my thirtieth birthday. Anyway my question is what is your age range preference?

[Gebidozo]

I’m 48 now, dating a 30 year old woman. My ex was much younger than I as well.

[FredEire]

I'm 30 now. When I was in my teens and early 20s (like a lot of very young people I'd say), I was terrified of being 30+ because I reckoned Id always be attracted to younger people but they wouldn't be attracted to be. I'd better find someone quick, because if I was still single at 30+ I'd be totally alone since I wouldn't want to date anyone my own age and would have no options!

It's played out a bit differently though. I'm still single at 30, but when I meet a woman who is in her early 20s most of the time they just look and act too immature to be really attracted to them. Superficially beautiful maybe, but when we start talking you feel the difference in the stage of life and the attraction goes away. Most of the time at this stage I think they view me as a creepy old man, and that's ok with me honestly.

So for me it's women my own age or slightly younger. Older women can be very attractive too, but I want to have kids in the future so a serious relationship with a 40+ year old woman would be hard to make work.

[tdbq]

1 hour ago, FredEire said:

I'm 30 now. When I was in my teens and early 20s (like a lot of very young people I'd say), I was terrified of being 30+ because I reckoned Id always be attracted to younger people but they wouldn't be attracted to be. I'd better find someone quick, because if I was still single at 30+ I'd be totally alone since I wouldn't want to date anyone my own age and would have no options!

It's played out a bit differently though. I'm still single at 30, but when I meet a woman who is in her early 20s most of the time they just look and act too immature to be really attracted to them. Superficially beautiful maybe, but when we start talking you feel the difference in the stage of life and the attraction goes away. Most of the time at this stage I think they view me as a creepy old man, and that's ok with me honestly.

So for me it's women my own age or slightly younger. Older women can be very attractive too, but I want to have kids in the future so a serious relationship with a 40+ year old woman would be hard to make work.

I think it's cuz they think I'm younger than usual. I tend to fit in so even if I say I'm 30. Attraction to people doesn't go away no matter what really for me so that's not an issue for me for maturity I prefer mid twenties since it's not far of from thirty and they can look younger.i guess as I've gotten older.

[BaileyB]

As you get older, age matters less and less… 

[FredEire]

9 minutes ago, tdbq said:

I think it's cuz they think I'm younger than usual. I tend to fit in so even if I say I'm 30. Attraction to people doesn't go away no matter what really for me so that's not an issue for me for maturity I prefer mid twenties since it's not far of from thirty and they can look younger.i guess as I've gotten older.

I think there's different pros and cons to dating at every age.

In your teens and early 20s you've got time on your side and zero pressure in today's world for babies and marriage so you can focus on just figuring things out, but you're going to be naive and make a lot of mistakes.

In your late twenties and thirties you've already learned some lessons and you can hopefully deal with things like conflict a lot more maturely (even though plenty of people don't!), but there's now a pressure to settle down.

In your 40s and beyond kids aren't really a factor any more so you're freer to just relax and see where it goes, but you might have baggage and regrets from past relationships and messy divorce/child custody situations.

So it's just different really not necessarily better or worse. If you're dating outside your age group the important thing is that your values and goals gel, which means one of the people has to be a bit atypical of their group, e.g a very mature twenty year old or a person in their late twenties who is already sure they don't want to have kids.

That can limit your options somewhat as in my case where I wouldn't get into a relationship with a woman in her 40s because I want a family, and I also wouldn't date a typical woman in her early 20s because they tend to be a lot more immature.

Edited June 21 by FredEire

[Gaeta]

Attraction is more complexed than just looks. When l was young l dated older men because they were more mature. In my 50s l dated a bit younger as they match my energy level. My bf is 8 years younger but we're both in our 50s so we both full adults.

[Kassieee]

Whatever looks good and is legal.

[ZA Dater]

I regret have accomplished nothing at dating in my 20' s those care free year people had, hooking up, enjoying that freedom to discover what you really find attractive and for a time I tried to date in that range which never happened. The only 'successful" relationship I had was with someone 5 years older than me. I'm still attracted to the idea of someone younger, a friend of mine is in his 50's and has no problem attracting people in their late 20's.

For me the most attractive person I ever met was 3 years older than me, what made her attractive was an unbelievable degree of attraction I felt toward her as a whole rather than because of one thing.

In short attraction is very complicated.

[smackie9]

As soon as I hit 24 I was dating younger. 

[john8908]

After years of rejection by woman I'm 31 now i lost hope in liking a woman for a relationship because i know they'll just reject me so i stopped trying.

[ZA Dater]

13 hours ago, john8908 said:

After years of rejection by woman I'm 31 now i lost hope in liking a woman for a relationship because i know they'll just reject me so i stopped trying.

Unfortunately this is very common, best thing I can say is you are not alone in this, go the comments section of any dating advice vid and you will find many people in the same situation, heck  I am 40 and basically have given up. Equally sad in many ways is how to a lesser degree people do not speak how this actually makes them feel, its incredibly difficult to open up to people who have not experienced this.

All you can do is take one day at a time.

[Trail Blazer]

Hmmm... it's an interesting question.  As a 20-year-old, anyone over 30 was what I considered to be too old to date.  Attraction by that virtue decreased a lot, despite whether or not I could say that they were objectively attractive in isolation to that frame of mind.

For every year I got older, the idea of older women being dateable in a practical sense, made them more attractive to me.  For example, when I would turn 25, then 35-year-olds were the new 30, so on and so forth.

However, when I got to 30 myself, 40-year-olds started to physically resemble their age, which meant that their physical attraction to me diminished.  As more and more women looked older, there were fewer and fewer outliers to help keep that trend follow in unison.

For every two years I aged, I found that my subjective attraction to women would only increase by one year.  By 32, it would have been capped at 41-years-old, by 34 it would be capped at 42-years-old, etc.

Now that I am 39-years-old, I wouldn't really want to be dating a woman who was in her late forties.  That's not to say that the beautiful 40-year-old woman I am happily in a long-term relationship wouldn't be someone I'd want to be with when we're both at that age, but I am merely referring to right now, if I were starting off today.

Conversely, if you go back to that age when I was 20, of course, I was highly attracted to girls my own age.  However, I have absolutely no desire to date a 20-year-old as an almost 40-year-old man.  I could still say, hand on heart, that objectively 20-year-old women are beautiful, but being attracted to them is a different concept.

Attraction to me is more than looks.  When I say more, I mean, there's no substitute to physical attraction.  Without it, it doesn't work.  But, I value an equal; someone with life experience who is at the same stage of life as I am.  Someone who has been there, and made their own mistakes, learned their own lessons and has the emotional maturity to match mine.

I think that women aged 30-40 are the prime age for a mature man.  In general, they have the emotional maturity from life experience, they're well and truly finished college and somewhat established in their career, they are clearer in their sense of what they want out of life, and they are absolutely in the zenith of their beauty.

[Sony12]

I date women who have kids my age.

[ZA Dater]

For me age does become relevant when it comes to kids, if you want kids of your own clearly dating someone 40+ might not really work(speaking from a guys perspective) but for me I do not want kids but equally I am not mad about spending time with someone else's kids either. 

Point being your idea of family and what you want is to a high degree going to determine what age range you are attracted to. Me, I think 35-43 with no kids and does not want to have kids would be the ideal for me but again this is extremely difficult to find.

[Sony12]

1 hour ago, ZA Dater said:

For me age does become relevant when it comes to kids, if you want kids of your own clearly dating someone 40+ might not really work(speaking from a guys perspective) but for me I do not want kids but equally I am not mad about spending time with someone else's kids either. 

Point being your idea of family and what you want is to a high degree going to determine what age range you are attracted to. Me, I think 35-43 with no kids and does not want to have kids would be the ideal for me but again this is extremely difficult to find.

 

The vast majority of single women in their 30's and 40's already have young kids at home. 

[ZA Dater]

20 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

 

The vast majority of single women in their 30's and 40's already have young kids at home. 

Which is why I say its very difficult to find people who do not have kids and to some extent attraction for some could be based on whether they want kids or not.

[Sony12]

8 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

Which is why I say its very difficult to find people who do not have kids and to some extent attraction for some could be based on whether they want kids or not.

What often is an even bigger issue than that is in how much effort these women who are trying to raise kids of their own are willing to put into dating. For many of them sex is the reason they are in the position they are in right now so many won't have the same kind of interest in that as someone who is living on their own will.

[ZA Dater]

3 hours ago, Sony12 said:

What often is an even bigger issue than that is in how much effort these women who are trying to raise kids of their own are willing to put into dating. For many of them sex is the reason they are in the position they are in right now so many won't have the same kind of interest in that as someone who is living on their own will.

I do think the other issue is how people relate to others at different life stage's, friend of mine has a gf who is 22 years younger than him, not sure such an age gap would appeal to me.

[Sony12]

12 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

I do think the other issue is how people relate to others at different life stage's, friend of mine has a gf who is 22 years younger than him, not sure such an age gap would appeal to me.

Kind of depends on what people are looking for from the relationship. If you are looking for something really serious it might not be good but if you just want something a little more casual it can be a lot of fun.

[ZA Dater]

6 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

Kind of depends on what people are looking for from the relationship. If you are looking for something really serious it might not be good but if you just want something a little more casual it can be a lot of fun.

I'd agree with you and I guess which guy would not want casual with someone younger. You raise a good point in that it depends on what sort of relationship one is looking for.

[Martin12345678]

When I was young it didn't matter to me. 

Now I am older and are looking for younger women because they are generally more attractive.

[MsJayne]

15 hours ago, Martin12345678 said:

When I was young it didn't matter to me. 

Now I am older and are looking for younger women because they are generally more attractive.

This not true, definitely not an accurate generalisation. I know plenty of young people who are less attractive than others twice their age. Also, with specific regard to young women, at this point in time many of them trowel on so much makeup and have so many fake bits that you really have no idea what’s lurking underneath it all. When you mature socially and emotionally you start to see more than just the exterior of a person, and I always found that, no matter how good-looking a guy was, if he was shallow he suddenly became very unattractive by virtue of his lack of intelligence. 

[PT189]

Generally, men are attracted to women 18-25 ie in their fertile prime.  There are some exceptions to the rule, but as this game is ultimately about procreation, women who are more able to produce healthy offspring are naturally more attractive.

There's much denial about this biological fact, but that's the way it goes.

Similarly, a self made man who can provide resources and security, is going to be more atttractive than a man who is not.

What you are attracted to is up to you, as long as you and they are consenting adults.

[Lotsgoingon]

In my 20s and 30s I was attracted to women who were older. Somehow in my mind, that was really cool. Deeper down, I think I knew I lacked some maturity and I wanted someone who definitely was more mature than I was. I felt safer with older women.