Behavior Interpretation

[Rajeev]

Two weeks ago, an energetic girl from a neighboring company with an office in the same corridor as mine unexpectedly came to my office, introduced herself, and shook my hand. I responded by introducing myself and making a funny comment that made her laugh. Since then, she has initiated greeting me daily ( exactly every day )with a smile and enthusiasm, often waving as she passes by. On a few occasions, I noticed her glancing at me while walking past. One day, as I was looking at her while her head was down, she looked up, met my gaze, and after about 1.5 seconds, slowly lowered her head. The next morning, she greeted me again with a wave. I'm curious about her behavior. Is she interested in me ?

Edited Saturday at 08:27 AM by Rajeev

[Gebidozo]

Are you interested in her?

If you aren’t, then it doesn’t matter whether she is. She hasn’t done anything inappropriate so far.

If you are, you should be asking her out on a date instead of asking that question here.

[Rajeev]

15 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Are you interested in her?

If you aren’t, then it doesn’t matter whether she is. She hasn’t done anything inappropriate so far.

If you are, you should be asking her out on a date instead of asking that question here.

Yes I am interested but before I do ask, I want to know if she send signal?

[basil67]

Her behaviour suggests nothing more than being a friendly type...but that doesn't mean she's not interested.  If you want to ask her out, you're going to have to take a risk

 

[Rajeev]

11 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Her behaviour suggests nothing more than being a friendly type...but that doesn't mean she's not interested.  If you want to ask her out, you're going to have to take a risk

 

Let me provide some additional context. Before she first came to my office, we had exchanged eye contact a few times. I also noticed her glancing at me from the corner of her eye. The last time, we both caught each other looking, and she slowly lowered her head after a few seconds. 

[basil67]

35 minutes ago, Rajeev said:

Let me provide some additional context. Before she first came to my office, we had exchanged eye contact a few times. I also noticed her glancing at me from the corner of her eye. The last time, we both caught each other looking, and she slowly lowered her head after a few seconds. 

Ok, she's noticed that you exist.  But for what it's worth, I can't hold eye contact with anyone, so lowering my head or glancing away doesn't mean I want to date them

If you want to ask her out, you're going to have to take a risk.  But hey, we get nowhere in life if we can't take a risk

Edited Saturday at 11:02 AM by basil67

[ExpatInItaly]

There is not enough here to indicate what her interest is, Rajeev. 

Wjat you have descried isn't a  clear indication of anything. You are going to have to make some real conversation with her. 

[Sony12]

Yeah sounds like she is just trying to be friendly and potentially make some workplace friends. You don't really have enough evidence to say if she is interested or not. Some people like to have friends where they work and while others don't really care about having workplace friendships.

Does she share stuff about her personal life with you? Most of the time when people have crushes on individuals they work with they will try to share with them who they really are. Not just who they are while on the job. All smiles and short glances really mean is that the person probably just has a friendly disposition.

Edited Saturday at 12:34 PM by Sony12

[Rajeev]

@Sony12

@basil67

@ExpatInItaly
Thank you for your answers. I understand that body language can be challenging to convey through words, but I'll do my best to explain the context more clearly:

Before and after she passes my office, I check that she walks normally. However, when she is within my view and earshot, her behavior changes to something more playful and engaging.

For instance, one day I was in an online meeting, and I saw someone waving energetically in front of my office door to greet me. 

Another time, as she was passing my office, she greeted me by swinging her arms and slightly clapping, all while saying good morning. 
 

With this behavior from her, I would expect that when I catch her looking at me, she wouldn't look down slowly after a few seconds. Yet, she does this, which adds to my confusion about her intentions.

 

[Sony12]

28 minutes ago, Rajeev said:

@Sony12

@basil67

@ExpatInItaly
Thank you for your answers. I understand that body language can be challenging to convey through words, but I'll do my best to explain the context more clearly:

Before and after she passes my office, I check that she walks normally. However, when she is within my view and earshot, her behavior changes to something more playful and engaging.

For instance, one day I was in an online meeting, and I saw someone waving energetically in front of my office door to greet me. 

Another time, as she was passing my office, she greeted me by swinging her arms and slightly clapping, all while saying good morning. 
 

With this behavior from her, I would expect that when I catch her looking at me, she wouldn't look down slowly after a few seconds. Yet, she does this, which adds to my confusion about her intentions.

 

Really that just sounds like someone who is being friendly to help them try to get through a work day. If you are thinking this much about it just ask her if she'd like to get some lunch sometime. Doesn't even need to be an official date. Just bring up going to grab a bite during your lunch hours so you two might get a chance to talk a bit. If she turns your offer down just let the idea go that she is interested in you romantically.

[Lotsgoingon]

You have to start a conversation to see if she's interested--AND ... to see if you're interested.

Start with the weather or "how's your day" or "what are you up to this weekend?" And the trick here is to listen carefully as she answers and to share authentically when it's your time to comment. Like tell her what you really did over the weekend. Listen to her to see if you like the way she talks to you. The more you like someone, the more you extend those little exchanges.

You can also just ask her to lunch--since you're in the same building. "You wanna grab lunch sometime?" 

Signals are only for the next step. People aren't sending us signals that they are madly in love with us (when they don't even know us). If they are madly in love with us without much interaction, then there is something off about them.  Rather, they are sending signals (if they are) to simply say, "I like what I see so far." And you can't assume anything. I'm a guy and I'm talkative with a lot of people and me being talkative and curious and enthusiastic doesn't mean I'm romantically interested in someone. 

 

 

 

[mark clemson]

Women are often "indirect communicators". If you're getting the sense she likes you, there is no way to know for certain except by asking her on a date or similar. Some aspects of life don't come without risk (of being wrong/rejection). If you want a chance to be with this girl before she decides to give up on you and it wouldn't cause problems in your workplace, bite the bullet...

[basil67]

13 hours ago, Rajeev said:

With this behavior from her, I would expect that when I catch her looking at me, she wouldn't look down slowly after a few seconds. Yet, she does this, which adds to my confusion about her intentions.

Again, not everyone is comfortable maintaining eye contact.  The fact that we're uncomfortable with it doesn't necessarily indicate anything about how we feel towards the person we are with

Lack of sustained eye contact can indicate a whole raft of things from autism to social anxiety and everything in between.    For me, I simply find it uncomfortable.... and if I'm in conversation, I hold my thoughts better if I'm not making eye contact.   

 

[ExpatInItaly]

Aagin, nothing you have described is a clear indication of anything. 

I can see that you really want it to mean that she interested, but you have got too little to work with to be sure of that. Why not initiate an actual conversation with her?

[BaileyB]

On 6/22/2024 at 3:15 AM, Rajeev said:

Is she interested in me ?

Yes.

[BaileyB]

19 hours ago, Rajeev said:

I would expect that when I catch her looking at me, she wouldn't look down slowly after a few seconds.

This is very typical behavior when a woman flirts with a man. A woman will make eye contact, smile, and look down/away - she is flirting with you. 

[ZA Dater]

On 6/22/2024 at 10:15 AM, Rajeev said:

Two weeks ago, an energetic girl from a neighboring company with an office in the same corridor as mine unexpectedly came to my office, introduced herself, and shook my hand. I responded by introducing myself and making a funny comment that made her laugh. Since then, she has initiated greeting me daily ( exactly every day )with a smile and enthusiasm, often waving as she passes by. On a few occasions, I noticed her glancing at me while walking past. One day, as I was looking at her while her head was down, she looked up, met my gaze, and after about 1.5 seconds, slowly lowered her head. The next morning, she greeted me again with a wave. I'm curious about her behavior. Is she interested in me ?

I have had a similar situation to this, in fact more or less the same. The difference there was she was was not single but she enjoyed the attention I gave her at the office, by that I mean banter and chats. It quickly became apparent this was more so when things were not going well with her BF. I carried on doing this because I liked here and enjoyed the attention I got from her.

Heck I even took her on a date when she broke up with her bf, the fact she went back to him the next week well..

My advice is enjoy the attention but you need to determine if she is single, determine if you really want to date in the work place, I think its a fundamentally bad idea but could possibly work in very specific circumstances.

Its also very easy to confuse friendly with interested.

[smackie9]

This is how it works...if you are interested you ask them out. Simple as that. 

[basil67]

Some people are really friendly in the office.  Some are flirty.  Some are interested in dating.   Unless they actually ask you out, there's really no way to tell the difference.   You have to take a chance if you want to see what's going on.

[Rajeev]

Hi guys
Lates update: Monday morning

There was a slow walk past my office with a wave and a good morning. She kept looking at me, even after I looked down after saying good morning, and continued to look until she was out of my sight.

This is strange one:😀

About an hour later, she returned to the corridor. As I was looking at her back, I noticed her arm behind her and she was opening and closing her fist. She turned her head back, seemingly to check if I noticed. I said, "Heyyyy."

A couple of times, I noticed her looking to see whether I was looking at her when she passed by my office.

[basil67]

11 minutes ago, Rajeev said:

Hi guys
Lates update: Monday morning

There was a slow walk past my office with a wave and a good morning. She kept looking at me, even after I looked down after saying good morning, and continued to look until she was out of my sight.

This is strange one:😀

About an hour later, she returned to the corridor. As I was looking at her back, I noticed her arm behind her and she was opening and closing her fist. She turned her head back, seemingly to check if I noticed. I said, "Heyyyy."

A couple of times, I noticed her looking to see whether I was looking at her when she passed by my office.

Trying to read body language is notoriously flawed.  I mean, I read the fist movements as the kind of thing I do when I've been typing or kitting for too long.    

And she could be looking at you because she's noticed you checking her out and she's seeing if you're still doing it you're looking to see if she's still doing it...are you actually getting any work done?

Either ask her out or don't.  It's really the only way to know

Edited Wednesday at 06:49 AM by basil67

[Rajeev]

2 hours ago, basil67 said:

Trying to read body language is notoriously flawed.  I mean, I read the fist movements as the kind of thing I do when I've been typing or kitting for too long.    

And she could be looking at you because she's noticed you checking her out and she's seeing if you're still doing it you're looking to see if she's still doing it...are you actually getting any work done?

Either ask her out or don't.  It's really the only way to know

 

@ExpatInItaly

@Sony12

but for this recent case, I was busy with my work when I noticed some movement in my peripheral vision. When I looked in that direction, I saw her walking with her arm behind her, opening and closing her fist. It caught my attention, and then I saw face (her turned back her head to see). At that moment, I even thought this gesture might have some special meaning that I don't understand!!!! my impression is if so far it was just friendly manner but this is beyond that. I want to be sure if she is interested and then I go for next steps that's why I am interpreting her actions. so what do you think guys?  @BaileyB is right ?

[ZA Dater]

Do you know if she is single?

[Rajeev]

Just now, ZA Dater said:

Do you know if she is single?

Yes, Single

[Sony12]

Do you two really say much of anything to each other besides waving and a quick 'hey'?