Author MimiPi Posted June 25 Author Share Posted June 25 47 minutes ago, Gebidozo said: Well, not necessarily. You still have to work on your anxieties. But obviously, a good partner will be patient and supportive, which will greatly increase your chances to become better yourself. Right. He were not patient with whereas I was so patient and tried always to avoid triggering him Link to post Share on other sites
Author MimiPi Posted June 25 Author Share Posted June 25 38 minutes ago, Gebidozo said: None of these things is sufficient to indicate true love. In that man’s case, they are merely symptoms of his controlling, needy, insecure character. True. I have noticed that he only comes back apologising when he has the need of control and doesn’t have other things going on in his life that he has to control outside of our relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 25 Share Posted June 25 (edited) 1 hour ago, MimiPi said: and tried my best to avoid things that trigger his anger like words such as you must or it’s your fault etc. I'm so glad you discovered that phrases containing "you" or "your" are ones which are best avoided. Phrases containing language which blames or orders people to do things will get up anyone's nose and cause them to react. Sure, perhaps they won't react as strongly as your boyfriend did, but the phrases will still escalate a problem because the put the other on the defensive and so they are more likely to raise their voice or attack in return. I can't help but wonder if when you said "It's your fault" you were reacting to him blaming you for something going wrong. It can really get one fired up! If you haven't already found them, I suggest you google "I" statements. You'll find some examples out there which feel a bit clunky and odd, but at a quick glance, this lot sound like normal speech https://thecounselinghub.com/news/mkniuct0phmijh51wz0qb4ksstgfpq Edited June 25 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
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