happyhorizons Posted Tuesday at 11:48 AM Share Posted Tuesday at 11:48 AM 5 hours ago, Jane Grey said: I am making that decision now! I am not going back! I do need to love me! Yes, you really do 😊 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted Tuesday at 12:47 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 12:47 PM 6 hours ago, Jane Grey said: She isn't intimate with him and now I'm guessing that this may be why. I wouldn't believe this if I were you. All cheating MM tell the OW that they aren't having sex with their wives anymore. That's the most common lie around here that we hear only to find out some of them are having sex with their wives multiple times a day as well as having sex with the OW. Of course he isn't going to say, yeah I have a very active sex life with my wife, but I need more to you, or you probably wouldn't continue to have sex with him. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted Tuesday at 12:57 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 12:57 PM 7 minutes ago, stillafool said: I wouldn't believe this if I were you. All cheating MM tell the OW that they aren't having sex with their wives anymore. That's the most common lie around here that we hear only to find out some of them are having sex with their wives multiple times a day as well as having sex with the OW. Of course he isn't going to say, yeah I have a very active sex life with my wife, but I need more to you, or you probably wouldn't continue to have sex with him. No - I know he doesn't have sex with his wife or rather she doesn't have sex with him.It would have made no difference to me either way. His wife would be entitled to have sex with her husband. She just doesn't. I know this for a fact. If he treats her like he did me - then I don't blame her. I admire her stance! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted Tuesday at 12:58 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 12:58 PM On 6/24/2024 at 1:19 PM, happyhorizons said: He’s just trying to manipulate you and grasp some semblance of control. He’s a clown and doesn’t deserve a moment of your attention. Confused as to why he agreed initially! But yes a total clown!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted Tuesday at 01:44 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 01:44 PM 45 minutes ago, Jane Grey said: Confused as to why he agreed initially! But yes a total clown!!! Clown is a very appropriate word for sure😉 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted Tuesday at 04:16 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 04:16 PM 3 hours ago, Jane Grey said: No - I know he doesn't have sex with his wife or rather she doesn't have sex with him.It would have made no difference to me either way. His wife would be entitled to have sex with her husband. She just doesn't. I know this for a fact. If he treats her like he did me - then I don't blame her. I admire her stance! How do you know this to be fact? Are you in their bedroom at night? You know what he tells you. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted Tuesday at 05:00 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 05:00 PM 42 minutes ago, stillafool said: How do you know this to be fact? Are you in their bedroom at night? You know what he tells you. I know it for a fact.. I wouldn't care either way.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted Tuesday at 05:16 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 05:16 PM 14 minutes ago, Jane Grey said: I know it for a fact.. I wouldn't care either way.. How do you know it for a fact. Of course you care that is why you broke up with him because he chose to stay with his wife. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted Tuesday at 06:22 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 06:22 PM 1 hour ago, stillafool said: How do you know it for a fact. Of course you care that is why you broke up with him because he chose to stay with his wife. Honestly, I really don't care about whether he slept with his wife or not. I believe him because he was ashamed that his wife didn't find him sexually attractive. I believe him in this case...but again either way I'm not bothered right now about that. I asked why when we broke up in a civilised manner, telling each other how much we care, love and will miss each other, did he come back a week later and do a 360 - and emotionally f#@king me over. That's what concerns me right now... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted Tuesday at 06:52 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 06:52 PM 5 hours ago, Jane Grey said: . His wife would be entitled to have sex with her husband. She just doesn't. I know this for a fact. Nope, you don't. Unless you are in their bedroom every night, you do not know for a fact what actually goes on between them behind closed door. 26 minutes ago, Jane Grey said: I asked why when we broke up in a civilised manner, telling each other how much we care, love and will miss each other, did he come back a week later and do a 360 Becuase he's a self-serving knob and it serves his ego to be a jerk to you. This was never a man who cared much about anyone but himself That much was true from the moment he started cheating on his wife. He wants to do what makes him feel good, and right now, it makes him feel better to turn the tables and reject you. It's not "right", so to speak, but it sure is a cold. hard look at who he really is. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted Tuesday at 07:27 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 07:27 PM 55 minutes ago, Jane Grey said: I believe him because he was ashamed that his wife didn't find him sexually attractive. The only thing we know for a fact is that this man lies - he has lied to his wife, his family, his friends and neighbours about your existence in his marriage for the past eight years. The simple truth is that you do not know what happens in a marriage unless you are one of two people in the marriage. With kindness, you have not demonstrated the best judgment with your decision to get and stay involved with this man. I think this is another case of you wanting to believe what you want to believe - your emotions clouding your better judgment… 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted Tuesday at 07:36 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 07:36 PM Block the jerk! He just wanted to control the narrative and control the outcome! ANY contact he makes is to ONLY feed HIS over inflated ego. just block any way he can reach you! He’s a time waster! start dating available men!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted Tuesday at 07:47 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 07:47 PM 53 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Nope, you don't. Unless you are in their bedroom every night, you do not know for a fact what actually goes on between them behind closed door. Becuase he's a self-serving knob and it serves his ego to be a jerk to you. This was never a man who cared much about anyone but himself That much was true from the moment he started cheating on his wife. He wants to do what makes him feel good, and right now, it makes him feel better to turn the tables and reject you. It's not "right", so to speak, but it sure is a cold. hard look at who he really is. I love this direct answer to my question! Made me giggles 😃 He is a self-serving know.. haha! And his behaviour has made me think about who he really is!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted Tuesday at 07:48 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 07:48 PM 11 minutes ago, S2B said: Block the jerk! He just wanted to control the narrative and control the outcome! ANY contact he makes is to ONLY feed HIS over inflated ego. just block any way he can reach you! He’s a time waster! start dating available men!!! He definitely has an ego! I'm done with him and will not be arsed with any man for quite some time.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted Tuesday at 07:50 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 07:50 PM 22 minutes ago, BaileyB said: The only thing we know for a fact is that this man lies - he has lied to his wife, his family, his friends and neighbours about your existence in his marriage for the past eight years. The simple truth is that you do not know what happens in a marriage unless you are one of two people in the marriage. With kindness, you have not demonstrated the best judgment with your decision to get and stay involved with this man. I think this is another case of you wanting to believe what you want to believe - your emotions clouding your better judgment… My emotions have not seen me do the best for me...you are quite right! I shouldn't have gotten involved with this man and I am full of regrets Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted Tuesday at 08:31 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 08:31 PM 44 minutes ago, Jane Grey said: I love this direct answer to my question! Made me giggles 😃 He is a self-serving knob. haha! And his behaviour has made me think about who he really is!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted Tuesday at 09:14 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 09:14 PM 42 minutes ago, Jane Grey said: He is a self-serving knob. haha! And his behaviour has made me think about who he really is!!! But not enough to block him. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted Tuesday at 09:23 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 09:23 PM 8 minutes ago, stillafool said: But not enough to block him. I'm not here to lie so the answer is no! I want it to be yes but it would be a lie. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted Tuesday at 09:43 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 09:43 PM 19 minutes ago, Jane Grey said: I'm not here to lie so the answer is no! I want it to be yes but it would be a lie. What's holding you back? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted Tuesday at 09:52 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 09:52 PM 7 minutes ago, basil67 said: What's holding you back? Waiting for any man to give you bread crumbs is crazy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted Tuesday at 09:57 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 09:57 PM I watched a you tube video today by Brené Brown on how to deal with narcissistic people - and I thought if you. You may want to check it out… 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted Tuesday at 10:05 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 10:05 PM 12 minutes ago, S2B said: Waiting for any man to give you bread crumbs is crazy. I'm holding myself back! I want to see him still..I'm being honest even if it sounds crazy, pathetic, sad...I still love him Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted Tuesday at 10:06 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 10:06 PM 9 minutes ago, BaileyB said: I watched a you tube video today by Brené Brown on how to deal with narcissistic people - and I thought if you. You may want to check it out… He definitely has narcissistic traits, many of them. I will check it out - thank you for thinking of me. That's sweet! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted Tuesday at 10:53 PM Share Posted Tuesday at 10:53 PM (edited) 47 minutes ago, Jane Grey said: He definitely has narcissistic traits, many of them. I will check it out - thank you for thinking of me. That's sweet! I should say, I thought of you because she talks about how confounding it is to love someone who could be so pathologically hurtful. It’s difficult to understand, because from the outside it seems like a no brainer - block and walk away… The fact that you are still reluctant to do that at this point kind of astounds me - if I’m being very honest. Edited Tuesday at 10:54 PM by BaileyB Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted Tuesday at 10:58 PM Author Share Posted Tuesday at 10:58 PM 2 minutes ago, BaileyB said: I should say, I thought of you because she talks about how confounding it is to love someone who could be so pathologically hurtful. It’s difficult to understand, because from the outside it seems like a no brainer - block and walk away… The fact that you are still reluctant to do that at this point kind of astounds me - i f I’m being very honest. It is astounding to me too...yet it is so! I'm working on it and on me. And you are right - he has hurt me hugely! I'm sure I will get there with this but definitely not there yet. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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