S2B Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 4 hours ago, Jane Grey said: I'm not going to block him on social media yet - just being honest and kind of scared of the push back ill get here. I know I should, I want too and I am talking to my therapist about it. Ask your therapist to teach you how to stop handing him ALL of YOUR power! learn how to take YOUR power back! You should never hand anyone all of your power! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted June 29 Author Share Posted June 29 6 hours ago, BaileyB said: Do it in your own time. My only comment would be, I think it’s likely wise to discuss with your therapist why you are so reluctant to close the door fully with this man who has behaved in an emotionally abusive way and hurt you. Feelings don’t just disappear, it will take time for your feelings to pass… But then again, when someone treats you with disrespect and hurts you - those feelings change and maybe they change to anger and grief - rather than love. You really do need to understand why you can’t let go… Exactly this! We are beginning to understand the whys..we are discussing this...I am angry and I so feel grief! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted June 29 Author Share Posted June 29 5 hours ago, basil67 said: @Jane Grey I'm actually a little concerned that you might worry about what a bunch of strangers may think of you. Truly, you owe us nothing. NOTHING! If we annoy you or make you feel bad, you can raise your middle finger at the screen and never come back. You can block members who's advice doesn't work for you. Or you can keep talking with us and working through it. You are in 100% control here ❤️❤️ No I appreciate the truth! Everything you guys say is true - it does me good to hear it whether I want to or not..thanks you!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted June 29 Author Share Posted June 29 2 hours ago, S2B said: Ask your therapist to teach you how to stop handing him ALL of YOUR power! learn how to take YOUR power back! You should never hand anyone all of your power! I am talking to her about this! I definitely have issues with this.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted June 29 Author Share Posted June 29 2 hours ago, Jane Grey said: Exactly this! We are beginning to understand the whys..we are discussing this...I am angry and I so feel grief! Also, it was an 8 year relationship - its only been just over 2 weeks since I ended initially! I haven't processed it yet! Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 29 Share Posted June 29 (edited) 14 hours ago, Gebidozo said: Well, it’s certainly true that some women find cheaters or murderers attractive. The question, of course, is why. Fair enough - once again I find I feel like what you've written is no doubt sometimes true, but find your statements far too specific (and, frankly, biased in one direction) to possibly be true as written or universally apply. Partial truths that almost certainly do sometimes apply, but just as certainly not always. But as you noted, it's only your opinion. Fair enough. Edited June 29 by mark clemson Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted June 29 Author Share Posted June 29 I have handed him my power... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted June 29 Author Share Posted June 29 Just now, Jane Grey said: I have handed him my power... I am taking it back 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted June 30 Share Posted June 30 15 hours ago, mark clemson said: Fair enough - once again I find I feel like what you've written is no doubt sometimes true, but find your statements far too specific (and, frankly, biased in one direction) to possibly be true as written or universally apply. Partial truths that almost certainly do sometimes apply, but just as certainly not always. But as you noted, it's only your opinion. Fair enough. Yeah, the thing is that in such matters everyone forms their opinions based on their own life experience, which might be drastically different. I’ve met naive women falling for cheating men, but I never met women who’d be attracted to a man specifically because he cheats. On the contrary, all such women I know, without exception, hoped to “reform” the men in question and saw their cheating as a sad, yet strictly temporary consequence of an unhappy relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 I know you guys will say "I told you so, block!" I posted and he reacted to my post. I still have zero intention of contacting him and actually feel quite meh! about it all!! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 38 minutes ago, Jane Grey said: I know you guys will say "I told you so, block!" I posted and he reacted to my post. I still have zero intention of contacting him and actually feel quite meh! about it all!! Glad to hear you’re feeling meh. Perhaps you can now block him and just say meh Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 1 minute ago, basil67 said: Glad to hear you’re feeling meh. Perhaps you can now block him and just say meh I will chat later with my therapist and see how that goes! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 6 hours ago, Jane Grey said: I know you guys will say "I told you so, block!" I posted and he reacted to my post. I still have zero intention of contacting him and actually feel quite meh! about it all!! That’s exactly what happens when you don’t go no contact. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 24 minutes ago, BaileyB said: That’s exactly what happens when you don’t go no contact. Yup! I am reeling 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 18 minutes ago, Jane Grey said: Yup! I am reeling I hate to say it, but you did it to yourself. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 7 hours ago, Jane Grey said: I posted and he reacted to my post. I still have zero intention of contacting him and actually feel quite meh! about it all!! Understand that this feeling won't last. Not yet. You feel a little dose of power because now he is (indirectly) responding to you, and you aren't directly responding back. But know that this will wear off when the day comes that you post something and he doens't react at all. You will feel like crap again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said: Understand that this feeling won't last. Not yet. You feel a little dose of power because now he is (indirectly) responding to you, and you aren't directly responding back. But know that this will wear off when the day comes that you post something and he doens't react at all. You will feel like crap again. Great Reply here ^^^^. The CLOWN simply has too much POWER in this dynamic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 12 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Understand that this feeling won't last. Not yet. You feel a little dose of power because now he is (indirectly) responding to you, and you aren't directly responding back. But know that this will wear off when the day comes that you post something and he doens't react at all. You will feel like crap again. I already feel despondent! He doesn't react to plenty I post when we were together so I actually wasn't expecting this..I feel sad! And yes I have done this to myself Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 11 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: Great Reply here ^^^^. The CLOWN simply has too much POWER in this dynamic. He does! He has tried quite a bit to get my attention albeit in absolutely terrible ways. I'm not biting and have no intention of biting. He also doesn't have a clue how I feel. He is only guessing. For all he knows I'm over him... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 8 minutes ago, Jane Grey said: I already feel despondent! He doesn't react to plenty I post when we were together so I actually wasn't expecting this..I feel sad! And yes I have done this to myself! But he is the one making all the indirect contact. He is the one who's showing that he is hurting. I am not communicating at all... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 This does not seem to have a very happy ending long term Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 12 minutes ago, happyhorizons said: This does not seem to have a very happy ending long term It won't have a happy ending - that is why I'm NC Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 (edited) 47 minutes ago, Jane Grey said: that is why I'm NC Except you are not NC. No contact does not just mean that you are not texting the man. It means that you don’t follow his social media, you don’t like each others posts, you don’t check up on him, or fall asleep looking at a photo of his face… You are still in contact with the man and that is why you are feeling crappy… Edited July 2 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jane Grey Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 36 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Except you are not NC. No contact does not just mean that you are not texting the man. It means that you don’t follow his social media, you don’t like each others posts, you don’t check up on him, or fall asleep looking at a photo of his face… You are still in contact with the man and that is why you are feeling crappy… That's true! I do look at his face - i wish I didn't want too..but I do..sorry! This has just reminded me that I do in fact still has feelings for him... Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 1 minute ago, Jane Grey said: That's true! I do look at his face - i wish I didn't want too..but I do..sorry! This has just reminded me that I do in fact still has feelings for him... This really is heartbreaking ❤️🩹 he to read😔😔 Link to post Share on other sites
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