sickandtiredOfex Posted June 24 Share Posted June 24 We never dated, we talked online for 2 years and then we met up a few times for sex, I wanted more he didn't I was heartbroken and begged emailed and texts but instead I got abuse. Since then he's been popping in and out my life through the past 10 years,I tried Internet dating he was soon messaging me calling me names saying I wouldn't get better than him, how I was ugly then telling me to phone and getting his new gf to call me names. I went radio silent on him until last week, he contacted me out the blue via email on an address I didn't know, I think they refer to it as the lovebomb. Within 48 hours he had me, put me down and then discarded me again like rubbish not without letting slip he has videos of me and him having sex. I'm absolutely devastated I've been duped yet again. I genuinely thought he had changed. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 24 Share Posted June 24 2 hours ago, sickandtiredOfex said: Within 48 hours he had me, put me down and then discarded me again like rubbish not without letting slip he has videos of me and him having sex. I'm absolutely devastated I've been duped yet again. Very unfortunate to have a person like this in your life. Hopefully you'll know better than to fall for this ever again. If you have court-admissible evidence that he has these videos that might be a positive, since I believe that filming you without your consent is a crime in most jurisdictions. Play your cards right and maybe next time you can lay down an ultimatum of how he'd better leave you alone or he's going to get prosecuted. Don't make any threats without having done your homework though as it could backfire. In the meantime, look for someone who's a decent human being to be with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 25 Share Posted June 25 4 hours ago, sickandtiredOfex said: We never dated, we talked online for 2 years and then we met up a few times for sex, I wanted more he didn't I was heartbroken and begged emailed and texts but instead I got abuse. Since then he's been popping in and out my life through the past 10 years ,I tried Internet dating he was soon messaging me calling me names saying I wouldn't get better than him, how I was ugly then telling me to phone and getting his new gf to call me names. I went radio silent on him until last week, he contacted me out the blue via email on an address I didn't know, I think they refer to it as the lovebomb. Within 48 hours he had me, put me down and then discarded me again like rubbish not without letting slip he has videos of me and him having sex. I'm absolutely devastated I've been duped yet again. I genuinely thought he had changed. I'm so sorry you feel for his trickery. But given his behaviour above, I can't understand why you didn't block his new email as soon as you knew it was him. And even on the off chance he had done a shitload of therapy and changed, those changes are for the new people he meets in life. Don't go giving second chances to abusers. Don't just go radio silent this time - block him on all platforms. And if he uses a new method of getting in contact, block that too. And if he persists and things get scary, seek a restraining order. Aside from this, I worry that you have very low self esteem or are lonely/isolated. It's the only reason I can think of that you'd give him another chance 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted June 25 Share Posted June 25 8 hours ago, sickandtiredOfex said: We never dated, we talked online for 2 years and then we met up a few times for sex, I wanted more he didn't I was heartbroken and begged emailed and texts but instead I got abuse. Since then he's been popping in and out my life through the past 10 years,I tried Internet dating he was soon messaging me calling me names saying I wouldn't get better than him, how I was ugly then telling me to phone and getting his new gf to call me names. I went radio silent on him until last week, he contacted me out the blue via email on an address I didn't know, I think they refer to it as the lovebomb. Within 48 hours he had me, put me down and then discarded me again like rubbish not without letting slip he has videos of me and him having sex. I'm absolutely devastated I've been duped yet again. I genuinely thought he had changed. This is very sad to read. You deserve someone so much better than this guy. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickandtiredOfex Posted June 25 Author Share Posted June 25 Thanks for words of support. I shoulda listened to my body it was screaming at me. The anxious feeling, the nightmares, I'm not eating and my sleep is disturbed. I think he has some personality disorder I read up on it.. It's about control and with me ignoring him for a few years this was his revenge to get back control over me. I'm broken, in the last 2 weeks I've lost weight, I'm not talking to anyone and just withdrew into myself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 Why did you agree to meet him? Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 I'm sorry you've put yourself through at all - and for over a decade is tragic. Your post is very brief but it definitely tells us that there was NEVER a reason for you to expect anything decent from this guy, much less a relationship. I really think you would benefit from some counseling. There is no reason that you should feel like accepting this kind of relationship in your life is okay. You deserve to be around people who treat you well and recognize your worth. That starts with YOU treating yourself well and recognizing your own worth. Please try to work towards that, for the good of the rest of your life ahead! No more of this! It's your own call! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickandtiredOfex Posted June 26 Author Share Posted June 26 5 hours ago, stillafool said: Why did you agree to meet him? I don't know, he was being nice asked me for a coffee.. Didn't get the coffee. Treated like dirt again and ignored. I don't know why maybe I was hoping he'd apologise and meant it. I asked if we could meet again, he sent emails with 1 word, he was going to stand me up. I even apologised for something I didn't even know I had done. I think because I really loved him, he broke my heart. I wanted it to be like before when he was good to me but instead he was cruel even called me a slut. I've been really struggling at work, my workmates have kept asking why I'm so quiet. I'm popular at work and get on with everyone.. I kept saying I was OK and kept my head down. I already know I'm stupid and now i can't tell anyone and keep it to myself. Just like last time round. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 (edited) Coffee? That’s all he offered? When any man is t investing in you - tell him NO! he didn’t even offer dinner! 😡 do t make it easy for any man to mistreat you. Edited June 26 by S2B Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 1 hour ago, sickandtiredOfex said: I've been really struggling at work, my workmates have kept asking why I'm so quiet. I'm popular at work and get on with everyone.. I kept saying I was OK and kept my head down. I already know I'm stupid and now i can't tell anyone and keep it to myself. Just like last time round. You aren't stupid you made the mistake of thinking this guy might want something with you because of the way you feel for him. You haven't seen him in a long time, why would he call you a slut? That's terribly disrespectful and should not be tolerated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickandtiredOfex Posted June 26 Author Share Posted June 26 11 minutes ago, stillafool said: You aren't stupid you made the mistake of thinking this guy might want something with you because of the way you feel for him. You haven't seen him in a long time, why would he call you a slut? That's terribly disrespectful and should not be tolerated. He thinks I sleep around, once messaged me on a dating site that saying I had sex with a friend of his cousins. I have no idea what he's on about I don't even know his cousin let alone his cousins friends. Even if I did what's it to him anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted June 26 Share Posted June 26 1 hour ago, sickandtiredOfex said: He thinks I sleep around, once messaged me on a dating site that saying I had sex with a friend of his cousins. I have no idea what he's on about I don't even know his cousin let alone his cousins friends. Even if I did what's it to him anyway. You owe this clown nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted July 1 Share Posted July 1 On 6/27/2024 at 12:50 AM, sickandtiredOfex said: He thinks I sleep around, once messaged me on a dating site that saying I had sex with a friend of his cousins. I have no idea what he's on about I don't even know his cousin let alone his cousins friends. Even if I did what's it to him anyway. I think the problem is that your self-esteem is so low that you not only give him the time of day but also believe the things he says about you at some level. You need to get to the point where being told this kind of nonsense makes you angry and causes you to shift the focus from your imagined failings to him. To give you an example, if a man called me a slut today, I would embrace the label 100% and ask him what it said about him that he was obsessively pursuing a slut. If he accused me of sleeping with his cousin's friend, I would say that of course I was: his cousin's friend satisfied me in ways he never could. Now, I'm not saying you should interact with him and respond to him in this way. But picturing yourself doing it might help you realize he's just an extremely insecure man who's looking to make himself feel better by dragging you down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickandtiredOfex Posted July 1 Author Share Posted July 1 3 hours ago, Acacia98 said: I think the problem is that your self-esteem is so low that you not only give him the time of day but also believe the things he says about you at some level. You need to get to the point where being told this kind of nonsense makes you angry and causes you to shift the focus from your imagined failings to him. To give you an example, if a man called me a slut today, I would embrace the label 100% and ask him what it said about him that he was obsessively pursuing a slut. If he accused me of sleeping with his cousin's friend, I would say that of course I was: his cousin's friend satisfied me in ways he never could. Now, I'm not saying you should interact with him and respond to him in this way. But picturing yourself doing it might help you realize he's just an extremely insecure man who's looking to make himself feel better by dragging you down. He is emailing me but not as much..so assume he's pursuing someone else. He calls himself a slutmaster that's what he reffered to himself as. I know he's insecure it's obvious as the nose on his face. He just seems to target me with cruelty..i know he treated all the others better but me it's like he enjoys hurting me and I have no idea why Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted July 1 Share Posted July 1 People do have sadistic impulses, and some will go so far as to find ways to actually "vent" them on others. At some point you just have to recognize that they're a bad person, at least insofar as to how they treat YOU, and pick up the pieces and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 1 Share Posted July 1 On 6/24/2024 at 12:36 PM, sickandtiredOfex said: We never dated, we talked online for 2 years and then we met up a few times for sex, I wanted more he didn't I was heartbroken and begged emailed and texts but instead I got abuse. Since then he's been popping in and out my life through the past 10 years,I tried Internet dating he was soon messaging me calling me names saying I wouldn't get better than him, how I was ugly then telling me to phone and getting his new gf to call me names. I went radio silent on him until last week, he contacted me out the blue via email on an address I didn't know, I think they refer to it as the lovebomb. Within 48 hours he had me, put me down and then discarded me again like rubbish not without letting slip he has videos of me and him having sex. I'm absolutely devastated I've been duped yet again. I genuinely thought he had changed. This guy is bad news. No surprise there. Why are you even starting up again? It boggles the mind when you state you got his last abusive email then you consort with him again a few days' later..... You need to stop contacting him. Block him from all sources of contact so he can't get to you. You deserve much better than this cruel, pathetic person! He has nothing nice to tell you. Any communication from him will not be nice. Value yourself and don't give him permission to treat you this way. Block him and move on. There's absolutely nothing to miss or be curious about. Just know that he's pathetic and sits behind his computer screen and sends nasty things to you because it makes him feel a little bit better about himself. You deserve wonderful and it starts with not interacting with him. Don't respond to his emails. Don't listen to his voice messages..Block him and don't look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 3 hours ago, sickandtiredOfex said: He is emailing me but not as much..so assume he's pursuing someone else. He calls himself a slutmaster that's what he reffered to himself as. I know he's insecure it's obvious as the nose on his face. He just seems to target me with cruelty..i know he treated all the others better but me it's like he enjoys hurting me and I have no idea why Why do you believe he treated the others better? Because he told you so? To me, the true mystery is why you continue to allow him access to you when you know his goal is to hurt you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickandtiredOfex Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 4 hours ago, Acacia98 said: Why do you believe he treated the others better? Because he told you so? To me, the true mystery is why you continue to allow him access to you when you know his goal is to hurt you. Trauma bonded I think. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 9 hours ago, sickandtiredOfex said: He calls himself a slutmaster that's what he reffered to himself as Sounds like a prince Why would you think someone who calls himself a "slutmaster" has changed? Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted July 2 Share Posted July 2 6 hours ago, basil67 said: Sounds like a prince Why would you think someone who calls himself a "slutmaster" has changed? This is so warped. The guy is NOT worth your time OP. This dude is very disturbing and has little to no respect for women. Link to post Share on other sites
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