I last wrote here over 10 years ago, well once a fool always a fool

[sickandtiredOfex]

We never dated, we talked online for 2 years and then we met up a few times for sex, I wanted more he didn't I was heartbroken and begged emailed and texts but instead I got abuse. Since then he's been popping in and out my life through the past 10 years,I tried Internet dating he was soon messaging me calling me names saying I wouldn't get better than him, how I was ugly then telling me to phone and getting his new gf to call me names. I went radio silent on him until last week, he contacted me out the blue via email on an address I didn't know, I think they refer to it as the lovebomb. Within 48 hours he had me, put me down and then discarded me again like rubbish not without letting slip he has videos of me and him having sex. I'm absolutely devastated I've been duped yet again. I genuinely thought he had changed.

[mark clemson]

2 hours ago, sickandtiredOfex said:

Within 48 hours he had me, put me down and then discarded me again like rubbish not without letting slip he has videos of me and him having sex. I'm absolutely devastated I've been duped yet again.

Very unfortunate to have a person like this in your life.

Hopefully you'll know better than to fall for this ever again. If you have court-admissible evidence that he has these videos that might be a positive, since I believe that filming you without your consent is a crime in most jurisdictions. Play your cards right and maybe next time you can lay down an ultimatum of how he'd better leave you alone or he's going to get prosecuted. Don't make any threats without having done your homework though as it could backfire.

In the meantime, look for someone who's a decent human being to be with.

[basil67]

4 hours ago, sickandtiredOfex said:

We never dated, we talked online for 2 years and then we met up a few times for sex, I wanted more he didn't I was heartbroken and begged emailed and texts but instead I got abuse. Since then he's been popping in and out my life through the past 10 years ,I tried Internet dating he was soon messaging me calling me names saying I wouldn't get better than him, how I was ugly then telling me to phone and getting his new gf to call me names. I went radio silent on him until last week, he contacted me out the blue via email on an address I didn't know, I think they refer to it as the lovebomb. Within 48 hours he had me, put me down and then discarded me again like rubbish not without letting slip he has videos of me and him having sex. I'm absolutely devastated I've been duped yet again. I genuinely thought he had changed.

I'm so sorry you feel for his trickery.  But given his behaviour above, I can't understand why you didn't block his new email as soon as you knew it was him.  And even on the off chance he had done a shitload of therapy and changed, those changes are for the new people he meets in life.  Don't go giving second chances to abusers.

Don't just go radio silent this time - block him on all platforms.  And if he uses a new method of getting in contact, block that too.  And if he persists and things get scary, seek a restraining order.

Aside from this, I worry that you have very low self esteem or are lonely/isolated.  It's the only reason I can think of that you'd give him another chance

[happyhorizons]

8 hours ago, sickandtiredOfex said:

We never dated, we talked online for 2 years and then we met up a few times for sex, I wanted more he didn't I was heartbroken and begged emailed and texts but instead I got abuse. Since then he's been popping in and out my life through the past 10 years,I tried Internet dating he was soon messaging me calling me names saying I wouldn't get better than him, how I was ugly then telling me to phone and getting his new gf to call me names. I went radio silent on him until last week, he contacted me out the blue via email on an address I didn't know, I think they refer to it as the lovebomb. Within 48 hours he had me, put me down and then discarded me again like rubbish not without letting slip he has videos of me and him having sex. I'm absolutely devastated I've been duped yet again. I genuinely thought he had changed.

This is very sad to read. You deserve someone so much better than this guy.

[sickandtiredOfex]

Thanks for words of support. I shoulda listened to my body it was screaming at me. The anxious feeling, the nightmares, I'm not eating and my sleep is disturbed. 

I think he has some personality disorder I read up on it.. It's about control and with me ignoring him for a few years this was his revenge to get back control over me. I'm broken, in the last 2 weeks I've lost weight, I'm not talking to anyone and just withdrew into myself. 

[stillafool]

Why did you agree to meet him?

[NuevoYorko]

I'm sorry you've put yourself through at all - and for over a decade is tragic.

Your post is very brief but it definitely tells us that there was NEVER a reason for you to expect anything decent from this guy, much less a relationship.

I really think you would benefit from some counseling.   There is no reason that you should feel like accepting this kind of relationship in your life is okay.   You deserve to be around people who treat you well and recognize your worth.  That starts with YOU treating yourself well and recognizing your own worth.

Please try to work towards that, for the good of the rest of your life ahead!   No more of this!  It's your own call!

[sickandtiredOfex]

5 hours ago, stillafool said:

Why did you agree to meet him?

I don't know, he was being nice asked me for a coffee.. Didn't get the coffee. Treated like dirt again and ignored. 

I don't know why maybe I was hoping he'd apologise and meant it. I asked if we could meet again, he sent emails with 1 word, he was going to stand me up. I even apologised for something I didn't even know I had done. I think because I really loved him, he broke my heart. I wanted it to be like before when he was good to me but instead he was cruel even called me a slut. 

 

I've been really struggling at work, my workmates have kept asking why I'm so quiet. I'm popular at work and get on with everyone.. I kept saying I was OK and kept my head down. I already know I'm stupid and now i can't tell anyone and keep it to myself. Just like last time round. 

 

[S2B]

Coffee? That’s all he offered? When any man is t investing in you - tell him NO!

he didn’t even offer dinner! 😡
do t make it easy for any man to mistreat you.

Edited Wednesday at 09:31 PM by S2B

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, sickandtiredOfex said:

I've been really struggling at work, my workmates have kept asking why I'm so quiet. I'm popular at work and get on with everyone.. I kept saying I was OK and kept my head down. I already know I'm stupid and now i can't tell anyone and keep it to myself. Just like last time round. 

 

You aren't stupid you made the mistake of thinking this guy might want something with you because of the way you feel for him.  You haven't seen him in a long time, why would he call you a slut?  That's terribly disrespectful and should not be tolerated.

[sickandtiredOfex]

11 minutes ago, stillafool said:

You aren't stupid you made the mistake of thinking this guy might want something with you because of the way you feel for him.  You haven't seen him in a long time, why would he call you a slut?  That's terribly disrespectful and should not be tolerated.

He thinks I sleep around, once messaged me on a dating site that saying I had sex with a friend of his cousins. I have no idea what he's on about I don't even know his cousin let alone his cousins friends. Even if I did what's it to him anyway.

[happyhorizons]

1 hour ago, sickandtiredOfex said:

He thinks I sleep around, once messaged me on a dating site that saying I had sex with a friend of his cousins. I have no idea what he's on about I don't even know his cousin let alone his cousins friends. Even if I did what's it to him anyway.

You owe this clown nothing.