Was this FA deactivation or a genuine loss of attraction?

[scarletyukatas]

I was seeing this girl for 2 months, which is short but it was intense and serious (going out 3 times a week, some vulnerability around our issues and wanting to make this work). She recently decided that she’s going to her hometown for the summer, which prompted a very long and messy breakup.

At first, she said that she feels like this won’t work long distance but was very insistent on being friends. I said that I can’t think of her platonically, and we agreed to just ‘take things as they come along’. We went out the next day, and she invited me over to her place and was being very affectionate overall and wanted to discuss what we’ll do while she’s away. 

Right before leaving, she did a 180. She said that we’re going in circles, and that there’s already emotional distance here which means that long-distance will make it worse. She said she only got into this because she knew she’s leaving anyway, and that she can’t commit and lost romantic attraction because it was like an on-and-off switch for the past few days.

I turned very cold and left, which made her accuse me of being apathetic and said she doesn’t know how she’s supposed to believe that I care if I only want her in my life on the basis of romantic feelings.

Does this sound like a genuine loss of attraction or was this her self-sabotaging? I ended up reaching out to her 3 days later to talk, and she said that I made my stance very clear and that she didn’t expect to hear from me again. I told her that things didn’t have to end in that way, and agreed to meet a few days from now. I’m trying to be understanding in case she did this out of fear and I wanna see if I can handle this in a better way, but I also don’t wanna be hurting myself in the process.

[basil67]

You did things exactly right.  She's just pissed because you (quite rightly) respected her decision without a fight or begging or being friend zoned.  

[ExpatInItaly]

She didn't do this out of fear, no. She just wants to be free and single for the summer, and maybe circle back to you in the Fall. 

You need to put her behind you. She isn't genuinely interested in you for anything serious. 

[ShyViolet]

It was very selfish of her to drag this out and insist on remaining friends when she knew she wasn't able to continue the romantic relationship.  You and her both should have made this a clean break instead of letting this drag out so much.  Staying "friends" is usually not a good idea after a messy breakup.  You need to put it in the past.