Author mortensorchid Posted November 9 Author Share Posted November 9 Saw him last night. He is actually better. He is making more connections to things bit by bit. He can stand up and walk from his wheelchair at times, walk a few steps here and there. He can use a knife and fork (he can cut his meat somewhat, switch hands and use the fork). He picked up a pack of sugar, opened it and sprinkled it over everything (he forgot to check if it was salt or not). Two other friends came over to see him and he knew who they were. They talked with him for a while and he was able to have a conversation about things. I asked him what he did this past week, he said he wasn't sure, not much. The election was on Tuesday (of which we all know), I asked if he knew who won it. He said "Yes, I voted", I said "Oh, you did? Who did you vote for?". He said "Joe Biden". I said you didn't in that you couldn't do that since he didn't run this year. He said "Oh yeah ... That was last time." I asked who ran, he wasn't sure. I told him who did (Trump and Harris), and I asked him who won? He said he didn't know. I told him (Trump of course), he said "Oh right, I knew that." He also said he was so angry at times because he wanted to get better and he can't get better. That was a very good sign of his improvement. Healing is hard. You can't rush it, it happens when it wants to happen. The brain is complicated and that's the hardest thing to heal when it's injured. Will he be who he was? No, he won't be. He'll be different, this might be it. But he's still alive. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 9 Share Posted November 9 (edited) 6 hours ago, mortensorchid said: I asked him what he did this past week, he said he wasn't sure, not much. The election was on Tuesday (of which we all know), I asked if he knew who won it. He said "Yes, I voted", I said "Oh, you did? Who did you vote for?". He said "Joe Biden". I said you didn't in that you couldn't do that since he didn't run this year. He said "Oh yeah ... That was last time." I asked who ran, he wasn't sure. I told him who did (Trump and Harris), and I asked him who won? He said he didn't know. I told him (Trump of course), he said "Oh right, I knew that." He also said he was so angry at times because he wanted to get better and he can't get better. That was a very good sign of his improvement. All these questions are setting him up to fail, so of course he got angry. Have you thought of altering your conversation style to be more supportive of meaningful conversation? With your guy, it would have been far kinder to open with "Did you hear Trump won the election? How do you feel about that?" The first question gives him two pieces of information (Trump and election) to support him in an actual conversation. As he improves, you'll hear the difference in his conversation. You don't need to be testing him. Also, did you realise he was about to put sugar on his meal? If so, why didn't you kindly redirect him? "Hold on, the salt is this one here" Edited November 9 by basil67 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 9 Share Posted November 9 After everything he went through it's amazing he's now able to get up and get to his chair! I would tell you to just live in the moment when you're with him. If you ask him questions and he does not get the answers right and you correct him l highly doubt that makes him feel good. Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted November 9 Share Posted November 9 My heart goes out to you. It might be helpful to use a tablet or your phone to stream some videos of comics or shows he remembers. It gets the synapses going and may prompt him to talk about some memories he connects with the content. The more stimulation from the outside world, the better. His isolated environment isn't helpful to him, it's like Groundhog Day every day, and that's just one big feed of disorientation. Holding both of you in my thoughts. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 9 Share Posted November 9 13 minutes ago, Leihla_B said: It might be helpful to use a tablet or your phone to stream some videos of comics or shows he remembers. It gets the synapses going and may prompt him to talk about some memories he connects with the content. Yep, my dad is developing dementia and he loves the Golden Girls reruns. They are familiar to him and with a plot which is easy follow - it allows him space where he doesn't worry about his decline 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Leihla_B Posted November 9 Share Posted November 9 14 minutes ago, basil67 said: Yep, my dad is developing dementia and he loves the Golden Girls reruns. They are familiar to him and with a plot which is easy follow - it allows him space where he doesn't worry about his decline Yes! I spent lots of ICU and subsequent recovery time with my aunt, and viewing comedy videos together really raised her spirits and prompted her to draw on memories of those times, plus memories of times we spent together. We watched MASH, All in the Family, Johny Carson, and comics from that era, as well as current late night shows that made 'fun' of current events. Between this and walking together a lot, we talked to people along the way, and we made fun of ourselves. She had no exposure to the outside world, so I made it a point to bring as much as I could IN to her, including magazines and puzzles we'd work on together. I also requested to be told when I could wheel or walk her outside. That became a goal, and we kept track of the answers until they said yes--and we celebrated. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted November 15 Author Share Posted November 15 (edited) I saw him today. He can stand up and walk around a bit, and he can even go to the bathroom by himself! (For #1 not #2, he's still confused on #2) I talked to the speech therapist today who was there when I was there. She said he is improving A LOT. She has done exercises with him where he is able to make connections (ex. Paying the bills - what do you have to do to pay the bills?), his short term memory is not good, she said. He doesn't know where he is. He asked me how long he's been here, what the name of the place is, what city this is, where his phone is, etc. I answer him, I told him that his phone is probably gone with the rest of his stuff. He said he misses me and wants me to be with him more. I said I miss him as well. He won't be who he was, of this I have accepted. Will he ever get out of the place and be able to live a normal life? I don't know. He's healing, and healing is so very hard, because it happens when it's time to happen. The brain is mysterious and works when it wants to. Edited November 15 by mortensorchid Additional information Link to post Share on other sites
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