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Did I mess up?


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LilySun

FWB for a few years....that part is complicated I won't get into that....A couple days ago he made a joke that implied we were in a relationship. He said it like he was joking, so I laughed.... this was in person btw, so not through texting. after that he was distant with me physically and he wasn't affectionate in bed, etc. But I really thought he was just trying to be funny, and now I wonder if I made him feel rejected.? I mean, we care about each other a lot, and we take care of each other, etc. The "benefits" part makes things confusing. He's always known I'm in love with him but we haven't talked about that in a long time. He probably didn't realize that a little joke could mess with my head. Now I'm wondering if he was testing the waters & I screwed up by laughing because I truly thought he was kidding and didn't think much of it, until he got distant with me. It would feel silly to ask him about that now, 2 days later, because maybe it was truly just a joke & maybe I'm thinking too much into it. Just thought I would get some opinions.. thanks.

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NuevoYorko

I'm sorry but I don't know why you are even posting this if you don't want to get into your years of being FWB with a guy you're in love with but who doesn't want anything further with you.

If he wants to change the status quo, obviously he knows that you are at his beck and call and you have been for a long time.  No indication that is going to change.  So if he gets put off by a casual comment from you, then he's not very interested in changing things.

Do you intend to just go on like this eternally?   

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LilySun
Posted (edited)

Idk what you mean by casual comment from me...he was the one who made a casual comment, so I laughed & said nothing more. After that he was suddenly not affectionate with me, etc. And he usually cuddles with me, strokes my hair, etc, and he went to sleep with his back to me. Just the night before that, he was very affectionate in bed, and always has been. I let it go, and just went to sleep myself. 

Edited by LilySun
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basil67

Here's a thought:  Tell him that the comment threw you and you laughed because you were confused.   And if you can't have a conversation with him, then neither he or this situation is worth having.

 

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basil67
Posted (edited)
48 minutes ago, LilySun said:

FWB for a few years...

How does this work with your topic six months ago where you just got out of a long relationship?   

 

 

Edited by basil67
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NuevoYorko
4 hours ago, LilySun said:

Idk what you mean by casual comment from me...he was the one who made a casual comment, so I laughed & said nothing more.

Ok.  A casual laugh.  

Have you been carrying on this FWB situationship throughout the relationships you've posted about on this board during your years here?

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LilySun

It's a long story we've been on/off over the years and have grown especially closer over last couple years, we are also business partners as I help with his business, and we take care of eachother, talk about our problems and support eachother,  etc, I call him my best friend and he does the same. So it's not truly "just sex" or booty calls, etc, as we talk every single day. He has gotten me through many tough times in my life & I have done the same for him. We both know it's more than "friends" but haven't tackled that topic very seriously because I think we are just comfortable with how it is. I'm not very good at talking about this kind of stuff, so I avoid it mostly. If I think about trying,  it gives me anxiety or fear of saying something wrong, etc. I've been that way my whole life and it's definitely made relationships hard. 

I'm just going to blow this off & if he says anything else that I question then I won't have a choice but to just talk about it, so nevermind but thanks. 

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