ZA Dater Posted July 15 Share Posted July 15 Also I would not use 'perfect' to describe dates, rather frame them as being positive. The big positive you have is that you had a great experience with her so you know you can do that again and you can find that again. Carry the positive momentum forward. Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted July 15 Share Posted July 15 Just now, ZA Dater said: Also I would not use 'perfect' to describe dates, rather frame them as being positive. The big positive you have is that you had a great experience with her so you know you can do that again and you can find that again. Carry the positive momentum forward. That's very true actually and an important point about infatuation. You may meet someone and feel on a first date that you've never seen someone that beautiful before, you've never kissed someone like that before, etc etc. But then if/when it falls apart you're faced with the reality that they aren't perfect and the emotional pain makes you rationalise what went wrong and any negative behaviour they may have displayed. If you zoom out they're probably not so different to other people you've dated, it's just your brain chemicals telling you that they're "perfect". Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted July 15 Share Posted July 15 Just now, FredEire said: That's very true actually and an important point about infatuation. You may meet someone and feel on a first date that you've never seen someone that beautiful before, you've never kissed someone like that before, etc etc. But then if/when it falls apart you're faced with the reality that they aren't perfect and the emotional pain makes you rationalise what went wrong and any negative behaviour they may have displayed. If you zoom out they're probably not so different to other people you've dated, it's just your brain chemicals telling you that they're "perfect". The good part about positive experiences is the confidence they bring so in this scenario the OP has actually gained a fair amount from the experience. Its not been a loss loss situation. Ultimately people are complicated, one can watch endless so called how to and it can still go wrong. OP the fact you could attract someone you really found attractive is the best win of all in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted July 15 Share Posted July 15 9 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: The good part about positive experiences is the confidence they bring so in this scenario the OP has actually gained a fair amount from the experience. Its not been a loss loss situation. Ultimately people are complicated, one can watch endless so called how to and it can still go wrong. OP the fact you could attract someone you really found attractive is the best win of all in my opinion. It doesn't bring confidence unfortunately when you meet someone you think is a perfect fit and it falls apart, quite the opposite. But it's a learning experience, for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
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