RedLab27 Posted July 15 Share Posted July 15 (edited) I have been dating my current girlfriend exclusively for 4 months now. We became exclusive after dating openly, and she said "it's me or them." A month into our relationship, a mutual acquaintance who was sleeping on her couch mentioned that she was feeling sad because she was on her period. I found it unsettling that he knew this information and brought it up with her. Shortly after, they were dancing closely with another girl, and she apologized, saying she was trying to show the other girl "how to do it." The acquaintance moved from the couch shortly after. A few months later, we were both sober, and I had met her family. I noticed she was very intentional about hiding her message alerts and phone, even when I was not beside her. One day, she left her phone open, and I saw that she had sent nude pictures to a guy who had built her house in exchange for him to fix her closet (which he never did). I also discovered that she had a sexual past with her neighbor who lived next door. When I asked her if I had met anyone she had sex with in the past, she mentioned the guy who built her house and someone I had never heard of. When I revealed that I had seen messages, her defense was that she had forgotten and it was a long time ago. She then dismissed the guy who built her house as a "senile old man." Today, while we were out walking our dogs, I made a call and noticed that I was ahead of her. She had stopped to pick up poop and was walking to catch up. I saw her give a guy on his porch a long look, which made me uncomfortable. She says she is committed to me and has never brought anyone home to her family. She says she wants to get married. She's encouraging me to sell my home and to move in with her. What do you all think? Edited July 15 by RedLab27 update Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted July 16 Share Posted July 16 Did she send the nude pictures while being exclusive with you? Or had it happened before that? You see, whatever she had done before you became exclusive is her business. You can’t fault her or mistrust her for that. If she had slept with 1000 guys before becoming your GF, you should accept it and trust her when she promises to be faithful to you. But if she’d been a virgin and then sent nude photos to another guy while being with you, then it’s cheating, a serious issue and a possible dealbreaker. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted July 17 Share Posted July 17 Sometimes it's not any one thing but "an accumulation of evidence" or a convergence of multiple factors that makes a decision to do (or not do) something a sensible one. People can turn corners in life and make departures from past behaviors. If we all had every past action/bad decision following us around all the time the world would be a quite different place. That said, not everyone chooses to actually leave past behaviors behind. Link to post Share on other sites
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