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MM reached out again


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cocotiffany

Keep it short and sweet, I have been on and off with a MM for the past 2 years. First started strictly as co-workers, friends, eventually just made out and oral sex only. I ended things with him beginning of this year because I got tired of him waiting to leave his wife, "loveless" marriage. He has no kids with his wife either. He never reached out to me after I ended things, we were about 4 months NC (no d-day). I had told him to delete my number and act as if I never existed to him as he was choosing his "loveless" wife. I'm not sure what he found in me considering I'm higher standard to him and his wife financially.  fast forward to present MM saw me out in public yesterday after I left the gym. I walked past him without saying anything to him. I didnt think much of it to be honest because he has hurt me emotionally and have been fed up with his lies. He texted me that very night telling me how good it was seeing me and that he misses me? 

This MM went off on me a couple of months ago after I gave him an ultimatum, (not going to lie, I was very verbally hurtful to him) and disappeared. I could care less his wife being a little "sweet heart"; the dude is trash. After seeing me in public from NC, he decides to message me? I responded to him saying thanks. Lol and he just read the message, no response anymore.  Is this a situation where he will decide to hop into my life once again? I thought he was done with me for good as he had mentioned in the past  💁‍♀️

Edited by cocotiffany
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BaileyB
15 minutes ago, cocotiffany said:

Is this a situation where he will decide to hop into my life once again?

He can contact you if he likes, but he can only “hop into your life” if you decide to reply…

Seriously, the only person that you control here is yourself. If you are clear about what you want and make the best decision for your own life, he has very little power…

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cocotiffany
1 minute ago, BaileyB said:

He can contact you if he likes,

I guess I'm just surprised he messaged again after me hurting his ego, self-esteem or what not as he was looking for a "respectful" partner to have a relationship with. 

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BaileyB
Just now, cocotiffany said:

I guess I'm just surprised he messaged again after me hurting his ego, self-esteem or what not as he was looking for a "respectful" partner to have a relationship with. 

It’s not uncommon for affair partners to reach out after the affair has ended. It’s not uncommon for people in any relationship to reach out/have sex after the relationship has ended -

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basil67
18 minutes ago, cocotiffany said:

I guess I'm just surprised he messaged again after me hurting his ego, self-esteem or what not as he was looking for a "respectful" partner to have a relationship with. 

Respectful?   'Respectful' and 'affair partner' are a contradiction in terms.  Nobody in this was showing respect to his wife.

Re you losing your temper at him, I'm sure he was well aware there would be some blowback on his reticence to leave his wife and he wouldn't take it to heart.  Trying to reel you back in after you blew up is all part of the game

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cocotiffany
6 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Respectful?   'Respectful' and 'affair partner' are a contradiction in terms

Exactly! This MM is delusional. SO wishy-washy and coming back to want me again, in addition to, having his wife

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basil67
2 minutes ago, cocotiffany said:

Exactly! This MM is delusional. SO wishy-washy and coming back to want me again, in addition to, having his wife

He's not delusional.  He's just seeing what he can get away with  

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happyhorizons
1 hour ago, cocotiffany said:

I guess I'm just surprised he messaged again after me hurting his ego, self-esteem or what not as he was looking for a "respectful" partner to have a relationship with. 

I am willing to bet that he CANNOT get over you.  When he SAW you, it just ignited his desire. 

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BaileyB
44 minutes ago, cocotiffany said:

coming back to want me again, in addition to, having his wife

The very nature of every affair.. which suited you fine, until it didn’t. 

 

42 minutes ago, basil67 said:

He's just seeing what he can get away with  

Exactly. I would say it has less to do with the fact that he can’t get over you than he is simply wondering how short your memory is… He wanted to know whether you might consider another rendezvous-vous - for old times sake…
 

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ExpatInItaly
9 hours ago, cocotiffany said:

Is this a situation where he will decide to hop into my life once again?

Only if you allow it. 

You said yourself this man is trash. Whar do you find appealing enough about trash that would allow trash to contact you in any way at all?

I don't date trash, personally. Why would you? 

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stillafool
On 7/18/2024 at 7:14 PM, cocotiffany said:

Exactly! This MM is delusional. SO wishy-washy and coming back to want me again, in addition to, having his wife

Why wouldn't he think that he can have you again in addition to his wife?  That's what he had with you the first go round.  It doesn't matter what he wants.  If you really meant what you said you would block him from contacting you.  That way you won't have to worry about hearing from him again.

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