Erica_2 Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 (edited) Hi, I would like some advice about my brothers girlfriend. They have been dating for around 5 years, and have just bought a house together. i have been nothing but nice to her, yet she has always came to our family home and been pass remarkable. She is known for making unsolicited comments. Increasingly, she has been making comments about me in my family home when ive not been around. last summer, she was making comments about i once ate food which was “really beige” i let this go, as im actually healthy & work out. This week, she has been over to visit with my bro, and again started talking about me whilst i was out. She was saying how i go to bed at 8pm, how my job being boring isnt the problem, and its me whos the problem, not the job. Also, making comments about how she could never leave a job like i did (i left a toxic workplace 4 years ago, and she randomly brought it up) my father passed away 5 months ago, my mum lent her a tent for camping, and explained how it was a good tent and shes not sure why my father complained about it, to which she replied “maybe that was just him” my father was adored and as a family were shattered by his death. my bro is talking about marrying her, and i cant imagine a lifetime of these jibes. I’m trying to starve her of the trouble she appears to want, my family is going through enough. im aware she has insecurities, my bro has told us that she doesnt like how she looks. Im struggling to understand her fixation on me, I’m not close to her & have never been able to get to know her as she’s never been warm or very conversational. I don’t know her well enough for her to make comments about me. I dont want this to drive a wedge between me & my brother. any advice is appreciated Thank you Edited July 23 by Erica_2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 This must be so unpleasant for you. Some people really do have too much to say. The thing which intrigues me is how you're finding out what she says when you're not there. Who's reporting it back to you and why don't they tell her to stop being mean? That person does not have your back....and seems to delight in saying things to hurt you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Erica_2 Posted July 23 Author Share Posted July 23 1 minute ago, basil67 said: This must be so unpleasant for you. Some people really do have too much to say. The thing which intrigues me is how you're finding out what she says when you're not there. Who's reporting it back to you and why don't they tell her to stop being mean? That person does not have your back....and seems to delight in saying things to hurt you On all occasions, my mum or dad have corrected her and said “Erica didn’t leave her job, she eats healthy, etc etc” my mum has really struggled to tell me but was visibly upset and told me. It’s common knowledge what this girl is like but lately it’s all at me Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 (edited) I understand that your mum was visibly upset when telling you, but she should not have told you. Instead, she should have done something about it. Either told the girl directly that nasty or picky comments are not welcome in her home, or told your boyfriend to do it. Please ask your mother or brother to intervene on your behalf Edited July 23 by basil67 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted July 31 Share Posted July 31 She's either jealous of you, so feels the need to bring you down to her level, or she's just a b***h. I sincerely hope your brother wakes up to it. If she continues with this then you'll need to confront her, in a kind way, in front of whoever has repeated the things she's said about you. That way she'll get the hint that your family is solid and talking about you negatively behind your back has consequences. If she says negative things about other people to you, pull her up and outright ask her why she feels the need to do this. Link to post Share on other sites
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