AnnoymousUser Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 I broke up with my girlfriend almost two months ago now and I'm still finding it incredibly hard to cope without her. I dont think either of us wanted the relationship to end. Stress of work got to her to the point that she just stopped being happy and couldn't see a way for us to be together. She was too scared to tell me she felt things had to end, but I could tell. We reached out to each other again after a couple of days. There was some recommissioned. She insisted that I didn't do anything wrong and that she missed me and still loved me. We met up soon after that, and things seemed like we could try again. But when I broached the subject she made it clear that didn't want to get back together because she knew she was unhappy. We haven't seen each other since. I have been struggling since that conversation. I'm constantly sad or anxious, and I can't stop thinking about how much I miss her. I miss her dog, too. We still communicate through text, but to a lesser degree. We both said that we want to keep each other in our lives, though I can't escape the feeling that we're just drifting apart more. She was one of the only people I could talk to about things. I know I can't rely on her to support me through our breakup. That's not fair on her. With my friends (or her) asking how I'm doing, I can't help but feel really lonely. I've not been sleeping, struggle to concentrate at work, and have little motivation to do anything while she seems to be doing completely fine. My head is a confused mess. I just don't know what to do or.how I'm going to get through this. I can't stop loving her. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 2 hours ago, AnnoymousUser said: We still communicate through text, but to a lesser degree. We both said that we want to keep each other in our lives, This is NOT a good idea. It only keeps you tethered to the breakup, to the feelings that you have for her. Most couples can't stay "friends" after a breakup, especially when it's this difficult and there are this many feelings involved. You need to stop texting with her. It will be hard but it's the only way to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 3 hours ago, AnnoymousUser said: I've not been sleeping, struggle to concentrate at work, and have little motivation to do anything while she seems to be doing completely fine. Of course she is doing fine, she is the one who initiated the breakup. Dumpers often feel relief and a surge of energy right after breakup. Also, from my experience, women are usually mentally tougher than men and deal with breakups better. Try to follow her example and get yourself in a good mental shape. If it’s too hard for you to concentrate on work, focus on other things that bring you joy. Traveling, sports, games, friends, TV, books, comfort food, you name it. You need to restore your taste for life, your joy of living. If it doesn’t work at first, “fake it till you make it”. Force yourself to be ok. I’d also suggest to stop communicating with your ex for a while. It will make things easier. There is no reason to keep clinging to that illusionary thread that connects you to her. It’s over, and you need to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 5 hours ago, AnnoymousUser said: We both said that we want to keep each other in our lives Now is not the time for this. Maybe someday, well into the future when you have both moved on, you could be friends again. But in the aftermath of a break-up, it's not realistic or healthy to try to stay in each other's lives. How are going to feel when the day comes that she goes out with some other guy? Please, for your own sake, don't stay in touch with right now. You need to heal first. 5 hours ago, AnnoymousUser said: she seems to be doing completely fine Well, yes. It stings but it's typical for the dumper to be managing okay when they are the one who wanted out. She's already processed the end of the relationship so she's far further along the healing process than you are. Try not compare your feelings to hers, as they aren't really comparable in this context. Take ample time and space away from her. No more messages or calls or what have you. That's only delaying your ability to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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