dave Posted August 9, 1999 Share Posted August 9, 1999 this is the first time i've done this but i really need a ladys' advice on my relationship, i think my problem can be solved better with a womans' precise intuition and feeling. i'll try not to make it too long. my girlfriend and i have been together for about 2 years now, but recently i believe she has been cheating on me at work. she has been working away for about 6 months now and comes back every third week, we talk constantly on the phone, and there is plenty of 'non-physical' contact. i have had difficulty with my job and my inspiration has slipped, and i have not been too motivated, i know this can cause problems, i have assured her that i will sort things out. there is no competition i can give when a new interest comes on the scene the excitement and anticipation we all know and love is apparent with her, i want to get this out in the open but i'm afraid this will be the end, she seems so over the relationship, but in the same breath she'll say how much she misses me and wants to be with me, she even talked about buying a house with me and was excited thinking about our future together. she asked me recently that did i think she was cheating on me i said "i don't know, are you"? she said not to worry everything is ok. she comes back for good from her job soon, i don't know wether to write her a letter and express myself, or to wait for her to come back, my fear is, is that if she doesn't come clean and also the reasons for her infidelity she will continue the relationship and gradually this will lead to a split, i know she e-mails him daily. i'm so very confused and upset, i have no immediate family or friends i would trust with this issue, so i would very much appreciate your advice kindly dave Link to post Share on other sites
deniselorae Posted August 9, 1999 Share Posted August 9, 1999 I would get proof she is cheating first, before I jump to conclusions. If she says she isn't then if you have no reason to doubt her, I would take her at her word. It is easy to find out if someone is cheating on you if you really want to know. this is the first time i've done this but i really need a ladys' advice on my relationship, i think my problem can be solved better with a womans' precise intuition and feeling. i'll try not to make it too long. my girlfriend and i have been together for about 2 years now, but recently i believe she has been cheating on me at work. she has been working away for about 6 months now and comes back every third week, we talk constantly on the phone, and there is plenty of 'non-physical' contact. i have had difficulty with my job and my inspiration has slipped, and i have not been too motivated, i know this can cause problems, i have assured her that i will sort things out. there is no competition i can give when a new interest comes on the scene the excitement and anticipation we all know and love is apparent with her, i want to get this out in the open but i'm afraid this will be the end, she seems so over the relationship, but in the same breath she'll say how much she misses me and wants to be with me, she even talked about buying a house with me and was excited thinking about our future together. she asked me recently that did i think she was cheating on me i said "i don't know, are you"? she said not to worry everything is ok. she comes back for good from her job soon, i don't know wether to write her a letter and express myself, or to wait for her to come back, my fear is, is that if she doesn't come clean and also the reasons for her infidelity she will continue the relationship and gradually this will lead to a split, i know she e-mails him daily. i'm so very confused and upset, i have no immediate family or friends i would trust with this issue, so i would very much appreciate your advice kindly dave Link to post Share on other sites
dave Posted August 9, 1999 Share Posted August 9, 1999 I would get proof she is cheating first, before I jump to conclusions. If she says she isn't then if you have no reason to doubt her, I would take her at her word. It is easy to find out if someone is cheating on you if you really want to know. I have proof, I have an explicit letter any other ideas, i really need them. kindly dave Link to post Share on other sites
deniselorae Posted August 9, 1999 Share Posted August 9, 1999 Dave, I would cut my losses right now actually. You will never trust her it will always be in the back of your mind and that is no way to start a relationship, there are enough stress on relationships these days without adding mistrust to the list. If she did it while you are away waht is to stop her when the chips are down? I have been in this situation. I moved from Pennsylvania to Michigan for the man I deeply loved and it had taken a long time to give him my whole heart. After I moved here for him, he cheated on me with a friend of mine back in PA! He lied repeatedly about it till I got the WHOLE TRUTH. I never trusted him again. I probably drove him nuts when he was late comifng home or on the phone or whatever. You may forgive but you never forget! I have proof, I have an explicit letter any other ideas, i really need them. kindly dave Link to post Share on other sites
dave Posted August 9, 1999 Share Posted August 9, 1999 Thanks, What do you think about me writing a letter to her, I was going to anyway to tell her I know about it, I was wondering coming from a womans' point of view wether this would be right? Dave Link to post Share on other sites
deniselorae Posted August 9, 1999 Share Posted August 9, 1999 Doesn't she know that you know? You haven't addressed this issue with her yet? Thanks, What do you think about me writing a letter to her, I was going to anyway to tell her I know about it, I was wondering coming from a womans' point of view wether this would be right? Dave Link to post Share on other sites
deniselorae Posted August 9, 1999 Share Posted August 9, 1999 I leave in a half hour so I wanted to get this in. If you haven't told her, I would talk to her not write a letter. I would rather do it in person, but if you must do it on the phone sobeit. Either way, it should be addressed before she comes home. I wouldn't want a letter, but then I am a forward person and confront situations like this face to face. Only you know how she will react, some people do not like forward confrontations. But, I wouldn't drag it out. Hope this helps a little. Good Luck! Doesn't she know that you know? You haven't addressed this issue with her yet? Link to post Share on other sites
dave Posted August 10, 1999 Share Posted August 10, 1999 Thanks I feel that when shes ready shell tell me, I'm hoping that when she gets back for good which is soon, we'll sit and talk about it face to face, she always seems to like that. when I talk to her she always face to face she always listens more any professes her love for me more. I really appreciate your time with me Denislorae Link to post Share on other sites
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