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Losing hope feels like a second break up?


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Mizz Layta

I held on hope for months until I tried to reconnect with him by getting in touch and asked to meet up. He ignored me. I should have left it at that but I texted him about something else, and he pretended like he didn't know who I was by stating I had the wrong number. I felt so stupid and I deleted his number and accepted he doesn't want me. It feels like a second break up now that hope is gone..is this normal?

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Gebidozo

Yup, absolutely normal.

My last breakup felt like 3 breakups to me.

At first, it was just her telling me “I’m breaking up with you”, but we continued to live in the same apartment (different rooms) and I was clinging to hope.

A few months later, she said she had tried to reignite her feelings for me during that period, but realized she simply didn’t have them anymore, and was looking for a new apartment. 

Then, a month later, I went to another country and came back, only to find the apartment half-empty and all her stuff gone. Only then the reality of the breakup hit me completely.

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Mizz Layta
1 hour ago, Gebidozo said:

Yup, absolutely normal.

My last breakup felt like 3 breakups to me.

At first, it was just her telling me “I’m breaking up with you”, but we continued to live in the same apartment (different rooms) and I was clinging to hope.

A few months later, she said she had tried to reignite her feelings for me during that period, but realized she simply didn’t have them anymore, and was looking for a new apartment. 

Then, a month later, I went to another country and came back, only to find the apartment half-empty and all her stuff gone. Only then the reality of the breakup hit me completely.

Thanks for your response. Did you found it easy to move on once the reality set in?

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Gebidozo
5 minutes ago, Mizz Layta said:

Thanks for your response. Did you found it easy to move on once the reality set in?

Not easy,  at first it actually felt much worse. But then the healing began. Also, the finality of the breakup helped me realize that it had actually long been imminent, inevitable. There were serious problems in that relationship that I’d refused to acknowledge while I was still clinging to hope.

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ExpatInItaly
On 7/28/2024 at 3:56 AM, Mizz Layta said:

It feels like a second break up now that hope is gone..is this normal?

It's completely normal. 

It will hurt while you process the fact that it's really over. But the hurt doesn't last forever. There will come a day when the sting starts to fade, but be patient with yourself as you heal. 

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ms.stressed

Yes, it's completely normal. Sometimes they come back and sometimes they move on. 

The important thing to do is to FOCUS ON YOU. 

Do things you like to do. Things that bring you joy. 

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basil67
On 7/28/2024 at 11:56 AM, Mizz Layta said:

I held on hope for months until I tried to reconnect with him by getting in touch and asked to meet up. He ignored me. I should have left it at that but I texted him about something else, and he pretended like he didn't know who I was by stating I had the wrong number. I felt so stupid and I deleted his number and accepted he doesn't want me. It feels like a second break up now that hope is gone..is this normal?

As much as it's hurtful, sometimes "cruel to be kind" is the only way forward so I guess his response was for the best.   Now you can leave the past where it belongs and look for a new future.  It will get better

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