thisisarandomperson Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 Hi, i met this amazing girl over a year ago on the Internet. We got to know each other and really liked each other. She was pretty much in love with me and i just wasn't ready. I was worried we couldn't handle a long distance relationship and i told her that. Eventually i stopped talking to her for a few months(starting from late january) which was a huge mistake for me. She sent me emails begging me to talk to her but i just ignored it. I got back in touch with her in July, and we talked and eventually we revealed our feelings to each other. We still really liked each other. We met once at a theme park and we really liked each other but it was a little ruined by having my friends there. On november the 30th i met up with her again in london. I had such an amazing time and so did she, we felt so strongly for each other. We still weren't properly going out however. Recently i've become obsessive with her and not trusting her, and that really annoyed her. I started arguments this way. I never meant to, i just wanted her to be mine. A few days ago we fell out and she said she developed feelings for this guy that she met at a party a month or two ago. She did not like him at the time because she really liked me. But she said she started losing interest in me 2-3 weeks ago because of my obsessiveness and started liking this guy. This guy told her on xmas eve that he liked her, and then went out with his former girlfriend. She still wants to go out with him however. Today she told me she was drinking and stuff at new years eve with friends, and she flirted with this guy whom she had liked for 3 years backw hen she was at school. She really did get close to him, no kissing however. She said she can't go out with her because of complications or something but im not sure what. This girl means everything to me and since the night that we had our last bust up (over another guy) when she told me she didn't want to speak to me again i really was heartbroken. I've never felt that way about a girl. I managed to get her talking to me again and i've realised how much she means to me and i've told her that. I was obsessive and stuff before and told her i would change then, but i never did. Only this time i was going to because i realised my true feelings for her. After a few text exchanges i asked her if there was still a chance for me, and she replied with "i dunno...i think so". She likes that guy more than me at the moment and it has all been my stupid fault. I've made mistakes in my life but treating her wrong has definitely been my biggest. I am terrified of losing her and i cry whenever i think of losing her and her beingw ith another guy. I am convinced that i will lose out to this guy because he lives near her, i do not. What should i do? How do i win her back? Should i bother? Please help!! Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 I am convinced that i will lose out to this guy because he lives near her, i do not. It's got nothing to do with who lives where, you need to stop acting so desperate. You'll get over her. Just show some self-respect, or this will happen again will someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thisisarandomperson Posted January 1, 2006 Author Share Posted January 1, 2006 So you suggest i should just give up with her even though she means more to me than any other girl has? I'll be going to university in late september (hopefully!!), and i would like to meet a girl there. But 8 months is a long time to wait and i really would like a girl because i am lonely. I've rejected a few girls where i live because of this girl who lives far away. Would it be worth starting something now with another girl and watch it turn into a LDR when i go to Uni? Or just leave girls entirely until i go to uni? Im only looking for long-term relationships but i need somebody!! I tend to be quite picky with girls which is also a downside. I can't say i have ever had a proper girlfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 hmm u want a long term relationship but u know it wont last when ur in university (thats college right?). and you've never had a real girlfriend? humm well first lose the jealousy thing, its a huge turnoff for chicks, and its not healthy. If you can fix that problem i dont think the LDR with the girl you "love" shouldnt be a problem to maintain. But you would have to put a lot of effort into it, seeing as she seems to be a drifter of feelings/emotions with guys. i personally wouldnt try to get her back, even though she seems amazing i would just simply keep it to chatting online and such. pursue girls who live near/around you, you might find someone worthwhile for the 8 lonely months ahead of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thisisarandomperson Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 Well if i can get the spark back, i hope we would last. Thing is, she is very different from most girls. She hasn't had a bf since year 6, which was a long time ago. She is still a virgin and isn't a tart. This is all a big + for me as my generation all seem to me wanting to sleep around and stuff. If two ppl spend a year building up feelings for each other, do you think it is possible for all those feelings to disappear in 2-3 weeks? I think the answer is no. I think the feelinsg she has for me are hidden, but she believes they are gone completely. I tink they are just buried beneath the current feelings she have for me and the hurt i have caused her. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thisisarandomperson Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 I've been texting her for the past few hours. I said we should meet up on tuesday as it is the last day of my xmas hols before i go back to school. She said she would think about it cause she is busy all week with friends and stuff. I said i cannot wait a whole week just to find out whether i have to move on or not. She then replies that i should just move on. So i guess i should move on then? Only thing is, i feel fine at the moment because i am talking to ppl about my problems. But i know that when i am alone in bed or whatever i will feel the pain again. How do i deal with this pain? Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 its called "heartbreak" and its something people just have to go through don't get too down on yourself man, LDR's are hard enough as it is to maintain be happy you were able to keep it alive for as long as you did and its really not that hard to get over a girl, especially with one you really had no real interaction with (physical). Sure you guys went and met a few times but i think you just fell too hard for this girl. Just learn and grow from this experience and try not to get too emotionally attached to someone whom you might be seeing in person lets say almost every day of the week. If you fell this hard for an online girl, i cant imagine how hard you'll fall when you meet a class A beaut who *hopefully wont break your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thisisarandomperson Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 Well thank you for all of your help Link to post Share on other sites
Lucasarts Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 np and i hope u get through it and i hope you find someone worth it out there Link to post Share on other sites
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