Bob13 Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 Ok... i feel wierd about doing this but im very confused about my situation. So this girl approached me about 4 weeks ago and we went on a date, i found out next day she really had a good time so we did it again and i thought everything was good. We've been hanging out for about 2-3 weeks now and then one day she tells me she likes me but she wants to take it really slow... So being as confused as i was i just assumed it meaning she is still playing the field and not wanting to be tied down i moved on, but i really do like this girl and she still calls me? SO what does she mean exactly? should i stick with her or no? does taking it real slow mean she is still playing the field? Link to post Share on other sites
SeatPanda Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 Being a girl, taking it slow doesn't necessarily mean she is still playing the field. It is possible, but not the only possibility. When me and my boyfriend first started dating, I wanted to take it slow because 1) I had never dated before and was a little nervous, 2) because I had issues in the past that made me a little wary of taking things too fast with any guy. Chances are, she just wants to take things slow to build trust in you (like I did with my boyfriend) and carefully build the relationship. Think of an analogy - if you construct a building too fast, you may make hurried mistakes that will later cause the building to crumble at the slightest breeze, due to some fundamental flaw that was overlooked in your hurry to finish the project. If you build it slow and pay attention to details, and make sure everything is in place, then no storm will knock it down, and you'll always have a sturdy roof over your heads to keep out the rain. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 1, 2006 Share Posted January 1, 2006 It could mean she's speaking about sex. At least that's what I meant many times in the past when I said that. Follow her lead a bit and don't try to rush feelings...especially sexual ones. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bob13 Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 So u think i should stick it out and see what she really means? Cuz i really like her i just dont wanna be "played" if u know what i mean? And i know more than 2 other guys right now are goin after her? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Yes, absolutely stick it out since you like her so much. Don't be like all the other guys chasing after her. Give her space. It's a turnoff to be pursued TOO much at the very beginning. I don't think you're being "played." But it's probably too early to tell that now, isn't it? If after 6 months or so, she's still saying that, THEN that might be the case. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bob13 Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 So from what ive heard here i think ill stick with it she did specifically say she didnt want things to change after we had the convo about moving slowly, im thinking right now it would be a good idea to talk to her about the moving slowly just to clear things up, right now i have one last question should i wait for her to call me now or should i pursue and try to make things normal as they were b4 we had the whole talk? Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Need more specifics to say much. You said she approached you four weeks ago. Did she ask you out initially? What does "hanging out" mean? Are you going on real dates with her? Or, are you being a male girlfriend to her? How did this "take things slow" conversation come about? Who brought it up? Generally, a woman who is highly interested in a man doesn't tell him that she wants to take things slowly. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Don't agree Gfto. In fact, I'll tell you something. The guys I've said "take it slow" with were the ones I was REALLY interested in. The others I sometimes didn't care. I'd either stop going out with them or have my fun and move on. I think she's VERY interested. So don't blow it. Just proceed like normal. Ask her out in a casual way. I wouldn't necessarily wait for her to call you but I'd wait a few days and call her. Link to post Share on other sites
ElizabethH Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Hi Bob--- Give the gal a call...talk to her directly. When I meet my next "boyfriend" no matter how much I like him or feel attracted to him I'm going to tell him that I want to take it slow which for me means sex and building trust. Why? Becuase if I really like him, I don't want to risk getting a broken heart. So, it could be that your friend really digs you and doesn't want to get hurt!! Have fun, be lighthearted and honest. No use getting all intense. Just get over this little hump and have fun! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bob13 Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 thanks a lot u guys cleared up a lot for me, Touche so the thing is were not going out? were in the stages b4 so is everything ur saying still relevant for my situation? cuz were not even going out and she says she wants to take it slow? Link to post Share on other sites
ElizabethH Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Call her and talk to her. Ask her "Do you want to go out with me to a movie this weekend?" Be light-hearted. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Ok, sorry Bob. I guess I forgot or didn't read closely. I agree with what Elizabeth said. Do that. If she says no, then you might have your answer. Come back and tell us what she says when you ask her out, ok? Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Bob, it's impossible to give you much advice without knowing more details. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bob13 Posted January 2, 2006 Author Share Posted January 2, 2006 Sorry Gfto what else do u need to know? well we just talked on the phone for like an hour so its wierd i think she meant she just wants to see how things go but slowly? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Yes, that's what she means Bob. Or else I don't think she would have stayed on the phone with you for an hour. I mean when I wasn't interested I tried to get off the phone as soon as possible. I didn't stay on an hour if I wasn't. Relax, ok? She likes you! Just don't be pushy. Stand back every so often. Even if you don't want to, ok? Link to post Share on other sites
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