Have I been to passive?

[Tomnile754]

So Ive been friends this woman for awhile now and we are very close with an emotional bonding, we talk alot about everything goals dreams and deep topics.Recently 2 weeks ago or so, she said she wanted to do a photo shoot with me and kept saying how excited she was and said she can’t wait over and over, she works outa town alot. She always says im a very kind guy with a deep soul and a great guy. She is always flirting in her texts with me She said she would be wearing some sexy outfit for it and asked would I be wearing a certain outfit and with a smiley she said that. Now we have met up and she always gives me big hugs usually 3 times and is always touching me accidently, she plays with her hair also. When I first met her she asked was I dating anyone.We have been out together and its always fun with some kinda tension but a good one, like she is a bit nervous or something. She is always bubbly and smiling when around me. So recently she went to a concert and posted on social media and she was with a guy, but didn’t say anything about him. She just said it was a good night. I never really seen her with a boyfriend only work friends mainly. I found it odd she posted this and it made me feel like I had lost a chance with her, as she was all excited about our getting together to work on the project. I had seen right after we talked about it and again she was hugging me all the time. Its like like she was all into it then just went cold, or maybe I didn't follow up. I feel like a plank to a degree now.

Is she making me jealous with this guy? Should I have taking control and contacted her?

I feel maybe I have snoozed

[Gaeta]

What exactly are you waiting for to invite her out on 'a date' ? Not a hang out, not a chill out.......a date. 

[Tomnile754]

1 minute ago, Gaeta said:

What exactly are you waiting for to invite her out on 'a date' ? Not a hang out, not a chill out.......a date. 

Last time I asked her out she was outa town

[Gaeta]

Just now, Tomnile754 said:

Last time I asked her out she was outa town

Did you follow up? Did you ask her when she comes back? You can still set up a date for when she returns. 

[BaileyB]

1 minute ago, Tomnile754 said:

Last time I asked her out she was outa town

Well then, ask her again. 

Worst case scenario, she says no and you know where you stand - you are not left wondering anymore.

She has quite literally given you every sign that she could that she’s interested… 

As for the other man’s photo, you will just want to clarify at some point (if you actually go on a date with the woman) that she is not in a relationship or dating another man/men. 

Good luck! 

[Gaeta]

20 minutes ago, Tomnile754 said:

Is she making me jealous with this guy? Should I have taking control and contacted her?

I feel maybe I have snoozed

No, she is not making you jealous. 

Yes you have snoozed, she practically threw herself at you and you did not reciprocate.

It's not called taking control, it's called *leading*. Yes, most women, enjoy when a man leads at the beginning. 

Edited July 30, 2024 by Gaeta

[Tomnile754]

1 minute ago, Gaeta said:

Did you follow up? Did you ask her when she comes back? You can still set up a date for when she returns. 

Well yeah she is back and Im trying to sort things out

[Gaeta]

Just now, Tomnile754 said:

Well yeah she is back and Im trying to sort things out

What do you mean by that?

Forget about the guy in the picture.

Ask her out on a date. If she says she met someone new and is not single anymore than you won't be wasting your time.

[Tomnile754]

2 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

Well then, ask her again. 

Worst case scenario, she says no and you know where you stand - you are not left wondering anymore.

She has quite literally given you every sign that she could that she’s interested… 

As for the other man’s photo, you will just want to clarify at some point (if you actually go on a date with the woman) that she is not in a relationship or dating another man/men. 

Good luck! 

I will, yeah I thinkI have just been a bit lost as she is gorgeous in every way smart and successful . I get a bit overwhelmed by her. Nothing to lose I guess

[Tomnile754]

1 minute ago, Gaeta said:

What do you mean by that?

Forget about the guy in the picture.

Ask her out on a date. If she says she met someone new and is not single anymore than you won't be wasting your time.

Not heard back yet but it was only yesterday 

[Tomnile754]

5 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

No, she is not making you jealous. 

Yes you have snoozed, she practically throw herself at you and you did not reciprocate.

It's not called taking control, it's called *leading*. Yes, most women, enjoy when a man leads at the beginning. 

Oh man, I kinda thought I was lost She is like my dream and I get nervous thinking about it not working out.

[Gaeta]

8 minutes ago, Tomnile754 said:

Oh man, I kinda thought I was lost She is like my dream and I get nervous thinking about it not working out.

You got to calm down. She is just a woman like any other woman. She may be pretty and smart but she is not the only pretty & smart lady out there. You will hit and miss a lot in your life, don't put too much value in a person you're not dating yet. She has flaws like any other human beings. she is not perfect. 

If you communicated with her yesterday and she has not replied then maybe it's too late and you've missed that train.

[Tomnile754]

45 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

You got to calm down. She is just a woman like any other woman. She may be pretty and smart but she is not the only pretty & smart lady out there. You will hit and miss a lot in your life, don't put too much value in a person you're not dating yet. She has flaws like any other human beings. she is not perfect. 

If you communicated with her yesterday and she has not replied then maybe it's too late and you've missed that train.

Yeah I know what you mean, I have other lady friends I hang out with and do stuff with but not sure they are the ticket im looking for but they are nice people.

 

Kinda

[FredEire]

2 hours ago, Tomnile754 said:

So Ive been friends this woman for awhile now and we are very close with an emotional bonding, we talk alot about everything goals dreams and deep topics.Recently 2 weeks ago or so, she said she wanted to do a photo shoot with me and kept saying how excited she was and said she can’t wait over and over, she works outa town alot. She always says im a very kind guy with a deep soul and a great guy. She is always flirting in her texts with me She said she would be wearing some sexy outfit for it and asked would I be wearing a certain outfit and with a smiley she said that. Now we have met up and she always gives me big hugs usually 3 times and is always touching me accidently, she plays with her hair also. When I first met her she asked was I dating anyone.We have been out together and its always fun with some kinda tension but a good one, like she is a bit nervous or something. She is always bubbly and smiling when around me. So recently she went to a concert and posted on social media and she was with a guy, but didn’t say anything about him. She just said it was a good night. I never really seen her with a boyfriend only work friends mainly. I found it odd she posted this and it made me feel like I had lost a chance with her, as she was all excited about our getting together to work on the project. I had seen right after we talked about it and again she was hugging me all the time. Its like like she was all into it then just went cold, or maybe I didn't follow up. I feel like a plank to a degree now.

Is she making me jealous with this guy? Should I have taking control and contacted her?

I feel maybe I have snoozed

I think you should have asked her on a date as soon as you noticed there may have been mutual interest.

That said, sometimes women are just naturally flirty/friendly and men can misread the situation.

Next time you're in this scenario with a girl just do it, ask her out for a drink or a coffee etc and see where it goes. If you misunderstood and she was just being friendly no biggie, at least you took your shot. Waiting for things to fall into place will get you nowhere.

[Tomnile754]

48 minutes ago, FredEire said:

I think you should have asked her on a date as soon as you noticed there may have been mutual interest.

That said, sometimes women are just naturally flirty/friendly and men can misread the situation.

Next time you're in this scenario with a girl just do it, ask her out for a drink or a coffee etc and see where it goes. If you misunderstood and she was just being friendly no biggie, at least you took your shot. Waiting for things to fall into place will get you nowhere.

We have been out together but never had a chance to make a move, she was very happy and fun to be with. 

Ill try one more time and if not Ill cut my losses. I think ive been to distant.

[FredEire]

1 minute ago, Tomnile754 said:

We have been out together but never had a chance to make a move, she was very happy and fun to be with. 

Ill try one more time and if not Ill cut my losses. I think ive been to distant.

There is no "chance", there is no "magic moment", you just have to engineer it yourself and go for it.

When you're out together you could get her in a one-on-one conversation, get chatting and if the vibe is good as you said it was just say "hey I think me and you should go out for a drink together some time, what do you think?"

Simple as that, I say that as someone who used to build castles in the sky regarding asking girls out on dates and snapped out of it.

[SidneyBlake]

Ask her out! He's either her friend or she's done that to get your attention.

[Tomnile754]

28 minutes ago, SidneyBlake said:

Ask her out! He's either her friend or she's done that to get your attention.

Im going to ask her out. I have never seen her post pics with random guys or a boyfriend. 

[basil67]

9 hours ago, Tomnile754 said:

Not heard back yet but it was only yesterday 

I assume you messaged her?  Messaging is weak.  Calling is strong.   If you want a date, call her and ask directly