SidneyBlake Posted July 30, 2024 Share Posted July 30, 2024 Hi, I’m in my late 20’s, I’ve never really dated much, had 2 long term girlfriends and a couple one night deals. I went out on a date with a girl last week that I met online. She seemed nice enough but also seemed quite quiet and reserved. She was quite late but only told me this when she was on the way so I felt bad suggesting a rearrangement. We eventually met up and got a coffee then went for a walk and talked, there were a few awkward silences but mostly everything seemed fine and we spent a few hours together. When we went our separate ways she said it was really nice to have met me and gave me a hug, I said the same and said for her to give me a message if she’d like to go out again to which she said she would. I was invited to a show a few days later and asked if she’d like to come with me and she said she couldn’t as she had plans and thanked me for the invite but didn’t then suggest an alternative plan I took this as an indication that I shouldn’t ask her out again. I wasn’t going to make any attempt to ask her out again due to her not suggesting alternative plans but then wasn’t sure if I was being an ass? I thought if she were to ask me out again that I would agree to it but wasn’t going to suggest the idea myself. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 31, 2024 Share Posted July 31, 2024 You don't sound particularly excited about this girl at all. "She was nice enough..... everything seemed fine." It doesn't sound like you had great chemistry. So why try to force this to be something it's not? I would not try for a second date with this one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SidneyBlake Posted August 1, 2024 Author Share Posted August 1, 2024 4 hours ago, ShyViolet said: You don't sound particularly excited about this girl at all. "She was nice enough..... everything seemed fine." It doesn't sound like you had great chemistry. So why try to force this to be something it's not? I would not try for a second date with this one. That's probably just to do with my dialect, thats just how we speak where I'm from. She was nice and pleasant but due to her seeming quiet reserved and possibly not as outgoing as I might be/the people I'm used to being around are, comparatively seemed reserved. Which is fine, I've had friends and past girlfriends who've been this way too and it's worked out but felt I'd gotten perhaps a bit more out of them. I've never really dated before it's usually been the case we've been friends first then ended up together or I've had one past girlfriend whom I did date a bit before we became boyfriend and girlfriend. I think I've just been a bit put off by her being quiet and reserved on the date and her saying she was busy on the day I suggested a second date coupled with her not mentioning an alternative plan. Thank you for the response! Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted August 1, 2024 Share Posted August 1, 2024 I agree with Shy Violet. “Nice enough”, “a few awkward silences” - that’s not a description of a budding romance that you’d want to pursue. Sure, sometimes love can grow out of such unremarkable beginnings. But why force it if you could meet other women and find one with whom you’d “click” in a much more obvious way? Link to post Share on other sites
Waylen Jones Posted August 1, 2024 Share Posted August 1, 2024 I also agree with the others here and say that you do not seem too excited about this one. But we don't know you personally so that could just be your tonality. My advice would be to ask her out once more, if she comes, great. Then you can gauge if you truly see potential in her and her in you. If she doesn't come, and does not make any alternative plans then I would take that as a sign to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted August 1, 2024 Share Posted August 1, 2024 2 hours ago, SidneyBlake said: That's probably just to do with my dialect, thats just how we speak where I'm from. No one gets excited about a dating partner where you are from? I don't buy it. It very much sounds like you and this girl had no chemistry. You are trying to convince yourself that there's potential here, when your gut is telling you there isn't. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted August 3, 2024 Share Posted August 3, 2024 On 7/30/2024 at 10:36 AM, SidneyBlake said: I wasn’t going to make any attempt to ask her out again due to her not suggesting alternative plans but then wasn’t sure if I was being an ass? I thought if she were to ask me out again that I would agree to it but wasn’t going to suggest the idea myself. I think you're on the right track here. If she was keen, she'd have offered an alternative to your suggestion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 3, 2024 Share Posted August 3, 2024 You stick to those rules. You will know when it's right...don't force it to make it right. Link to post Share on other sites
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