Jump to content

no intimacy in a LDR it's killing the spark


Recommended Posts

  • Author
Rubyrose

He's my age 31, 32 this year. I had a longggggg open serious chat this weekend with him. I told him exactly how I'm feeling and that I'm feeling unhappy, he actually asked me because hes noticed a huge difference in my behaviour now I have took a step back. He was upset and he's worrying I'm going to end the relationship. He admitted to me "maybe I do have intimacy issues" he said he has always struggled telling his family whenever he's ever got into a relationship throughout his teen/adult years. He also said his mum isn't an affectionate person whatsoever which is understandable as she was fostered and doesn't know any of her real family. He was really sad that he's making me feel this way and said he is going to try and make improvements. I'm willing to see if things improve. Fingers crossed! 

Link to post
Share on other sites
basil67
15 minutes ago, Rubyrose said:

He's my age 31, 32 this year. I had a longggggg open serious chat this weekend with him. I told him exactly how I'm feeling and that I'm feeling unhappy, he actually asked me because hes noticed a huge difference in my behaviour now I have took a step back. He was upset and he's worrying I'm going to end the relationship. He admitted to me "maybe I do have intimacy issues" he said he has always struggled telling his family whenever he's ever got into a relationship throughout his teen/adult years. He also said his mum isn't an affectionate person whatsoever which is understandable as she was fostered and doesn't know any of her real family. He was really sad that he's making me feel this way and said he is going to try and make improvements. I'm willing to see if things improve. Fingers crossed! 

Unless he does therapy for the emotional side of this and sees a doctor for the lack of sex drive, any changes he makes won't be sustainable.   And it may be too little too late for you to get your own feelings for him back.

Please don't get your hopes up.  

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
BaileyB

I agree with basil, you can have empathy for him but unless he is demonstrating to me that he is willing to put the effort in to change things, I would not stay. He needs individual counselling and a physician to assess his lack of sex drive and the possibility that he is depressed. I would argue that he would also benefit from some exercise, if he doesn’t already, as that will improve his mental and physical health, hopefully also improving his interest in sex. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...