MsJayne Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 We, (partner and I), are friends with another couple who’ve recently split. I’m close enough to her that, over the last few months, she’s confided to me about how abusive he’s been during their relationship, and I believe every word even though he presents as an easy-going, friendly sort of guy in group settings. Now they’re over I see no reason to pretend I don’t know how he’s treated her, and I don’t want anything to do with him. My partner feels that it’s none of our business and, because he gets on well with Mr Abusive, says he’ll continue to socialise with him. This means that if, for example, we invite people over for a BBQ, he’ll invite this guy and that means that she’ll be excluded because it would be so awkward for her. I believe that this “mind our own business” attitude actually perpetuates male violence towards women because there’s no social repercussions from other men. My partner says I’m too involved, and I say he’s supporting the wife-bashing culture that is so prevalent in Australia. What do other women think about men who turn a blind eye to male violence against women? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 I just discussed this with my husband - we're both firmly in your camp. There wasn't even a debate....it's cut and dry. Hubby says that even if the guy was a good mate, he'd end the friendship after finding out the truth. I hope your husband changes his stance. And you are a very good friend to have 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 Count me in your camp as well. If Mr. Abusive were my pal and I learned that about him, I’d ask him straight if he repents what he did. If he does, I’d urge him to make amends and then it will depend on whether the lady forgives him or not. If he isn’t remorseful, he won’t be my buddy anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 I agree with you completely. It is not just about being personally involved in someone else's issues, but about standing up against a culture that allows and even condones violence against women. By choosing to continue socializing with someone who has shown abusive behavior, your partner is implicitly condoning that behavior and sending the message that it is okay. Staying silent is not being neutral – it is taking a side, and it is the wrong one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsJayne Posted August 4 Author Share Posted August 4 Thanks for the support everyone , it's something that I feel very strongly about. Link to post Share on other sites
semble Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 Maybe she's lying or at least exaggerating. Maybe he hits her after she scratches him on the cheek. I don't take anyone's word for anything. I certainly wouldn't write a person off because of something someone said about them that I haven't verified. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 I'm 100% with you on this one. "Mind your business" is a good policy sometimes, but not in this case. If I had a boyfriend who was doing this, I would have a major problem with him. Link to post Share on other sites
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