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Why do People Disappear on Dating Sites When Asking for Their Phone Number?


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Robert007

It's frustrating that many people on dating sites are willing to chat but suddenly disappear when you ask to exchange phone numbers or meet in person.

Why do you think men and women will disappear if you want to take it a step further than just chatting on the dating site?

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basil67
28 minutes ago, Robert007 said:

It's frustrating that many people on dating sites are willing to chat but suddenly disappear when you ask to exchange phone numbers or meet in person.

Why do you think men and women will disappear if you want to take it a step further than just chatting on the dating site?

Either they aren't real people or they are time wasters.    This is why it's important to meet someone fairly quickly....you don't want to spend ages messaging someone just to find it was a complete waste of time

Edited by basil67
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Robert007
32 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Either they aren't real people or they are time wasters.    This is why it's important to meet someone fairly quickly....you don't want to spend ages messaging someone just to find it was a complete waste of time

I have heard women express their reluctance to disclose their phone numbers, citing the fact that doing so would be an invasion of their privacy. The very last thing ladies want is for a male to harass or stalk them in any way.

 

What do you say to that?

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basil67
7 minutes ago, Robert007 said:

I have heard women express their reluctance to disclose their phone numbers, citing the fact that doing so would be an invasion of their privacy. The very last thing ladies want is for a male to harass or stalk them in any way.

I would say that if they are too wary to give you a phone number, they will be too wary to meet you in person.  I don't even know why they'd be on OLD if they can't get to the point of meeting up.

 

Edited by basil67
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Alpacalia

I think it just boils down to if the initial connection is good, she will be happy to continue the conversation on the phone or in person.

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Robert007
3 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

I think it just boils down to if the initial connection is good, she will be happy to continue the conversation on the phone or in person.

I agree with you. However, I''ve heard people complain that the conversation is good and they have a lot in common. And then when he/she asks for the phone number that person will disappear. I just don't understand this.

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Alpacalia
1 minute ago, Robert007 said:

I agree with you. However, I''ve heard people complain that the conversation is good and they have a lot in common. And then when he/she asks for the phone number that person will disappear. I just don't understand this.

There are sadly a lot of time wasters on dating sites, who enjoy the attention and validation they receive from engaging in conversations and flirting with others, but have no intention of actually pursuing anything further. Not suggesting that has been all of your experiences, or that all people who enjoy good conversation are time wasters, but it is a common problem on dating sites. 

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basil67
19 minutes ago, Robert007 said:

I agree with you. However, I''ve heard people complain that the conversation is good and they have a lot in common. And then when he/she asks for the phone number that person will disappear. I just don't understand this.

One person may think the conversation is good, while the other is thinking it's dull.   Would be nice to give a "sorry, it's not working for me" response rather than just ghosting

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It doesn't matter why. They drop out of sight so you move on. You cannot burn your energy trying to figure out why strangers act a certain way.  Online is a numbers game, one day you will meet the right person, till then you got to roll with the punches. 

Edited by Gaeta
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You're doing it wrong.

Either you haven't established enough of a connection or you're reading them wrong, or both.

Try to change it up. I've met women for a first meetup without ever exchanging phone numbers.

 

 

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Ami1uwant
On 8/3/2024 at 8:17 PM, Robert007 said:

It's frustrating that many people on dating sites are willing to chat but suddenly disappear when you ask to exchange phone numbers or meet in person.

Why do you think men and women will disappear if you want to take it a step further than just chatting on the dating site?

Before asking fir their phone number ask thrm about their experience meeting people through online sites.  If thry don’t have much experience says they are less likely or are scared to share their phone number.  Just give them your number and ask them to call you or ask them about just meeting at a coffe shop or other public place.

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Most likely they're on there just looking for validation and attention. 

That's why you ask for the number quickly. If they don't like you enough to give you the number early, that lack of enthusiasm will be pervasive the entire time you're talking to her. 

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