basil67 Posted August 13 Share Posted August 13 12 hours ago, Teemacey said: I feel terrible for not responding when he reached out, He's not respecting your boundaries and you feel terrible? Please think this through Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 13 Author Share Posted August 13 16 hours ago, basil67 said: He's not respecting your boundaries and you feel terrible? Please think this through He didn’t really do anything wrong, it was me who couldn’t get it together now I’m suffering the consequences of my own actions Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 13 Share Posted August 13 On 8/9/2024 at 11:50 PM, Teemacey said: I’ve never done this before. Like I’ve dealt with heartbreak before, of course. But I never had to face it head on like I have to do now. I’m not ready for how hard this is going to be This is part of growing and maturing. You have no other choice but to go through this heartbreak. You will be a much stronger person when you come out on the other side. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 13 Author Share Posted August 13 2 minutes ago, stillafool said: This is part of growing and maturing. You have no other choice but to go through this heartbreak. You will be a much stronger person when you come out on the other side. I know. And I have been trying. I have been ignoring his attempts to reach out and today is just a not so good day. It’s like, how do you get over someone who you feel was perfect for you? And the breakup is your fault? He literally did nothing wrong it was all me. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 13 Share Posted August 13 6 minutes ago, Teemacey said: I know. And I have been trying. I have been ignoring his attempts to reach out and today is just a not so good day. It’s like, how do you get over someone who you feel was perfect for you? And the breakup is your fault? He literally did nothing wrong it was all me. You block them. It's what's best for you and for him so you can move on in peace. Why bother to end it if you're going to continue to blame yourself for doing what you wanted to do? If you were serious just embrace it and find things to do that will keep you from checking your phone to get validated that he's still reaching out and wanting you. Let it go and let him go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 13 Author Share Posted August 13 4 hours ago, stillafool said: You block them. It's what's best for you and for him so you can move on in peace. Why bother to end it if you're going to continue to blame yourself for doing what you wanted to do? If you were serious just embrace it and find things to do that will keep you from checking your phone to get validated that he's still reaching out and wanting you. Let it go and let him go. I know. I guess I got to remember the last few conversations we’ve had & how cold he was towards me. It’s just so confusing because even after all of this he would still reach out and text me, even when I didn’t respond. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 7 hours ago, Teemacey said: He didn’t really do anything wrong, it was me who couldn’t get it together now I’m suffering the consequences of my own actions Yes he did do stuff wrong. See your comment: "and he ALSO didn’t respect those boundaries." Besides, I think it's fair to say that it's unkind to maintain a 'friendship' with someone who wants more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 11 hours ago, basil67 said: Yes he did do stuff wrong. See your comment: "and he ALSO didn’t respect those boundaries." Besides, I think it's fair to say that it's unkind to maintain a 'friendship' with someone who wants more. Yes, remaining friends is unrealistic. Today is day 4 of no contact (yay). My problem is I keep blocking and unblocking him on social media to check his posts. And he’s posting WAY more on there and he never did this while we were dating. It’s like he’s trying to get attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 11 hours ago, basil67 said: Yes he did do stuff wrong. See your comment: "and he ALSO didn’t respect those boundaries." Besides, I think it's fair to say that it's unkind to maintain a 'friendship' with someone who wants more. Day *3. The last time we spoke was Sunday. He stopped texting me Saturday & then Sunday he texted and asked if I wanted to see his haircut he got Saturday, after ignoring me. He had already posted said haircut on social media, he didn’t know I seen it. So I ignored him. I haven’t responded since. But, I see he posted this SAME exact video he wanted me to see on another social media platform. Now THIS one for sure hurt. Cause he never posted like this, EVER and anytime he did something different with his jair he would only send it to me. I know this just means he’s putting his self out there and moving on. Idk why I do this to myself, I woke up feeling okay now I’m hurt and want to cry. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 1 hour ago, Teemacey said: I know this just means he’s putting his self out there and moving on. Idk why I do this to myself, I woke up feeling okay now I’m hurt and want to cry. You need to block yourself from his social media. As you can see spying on what he's up to will keep you in pain. Let it go, let him go. Distract yourself with healthy things. Go work out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 1 minute ago, stillafool said: You need to block yourself from his social media. As you can see spying on what he's up to will keep you in pain. Let it go, let him go. Distract yourself with healthy things. Go work out. Funny thing is, I did block him. I just keep unblocking him. I may need to delete social media all together, this is miserable. I have been working out, but working out just reminds me of us. We used to workout together and do fun little competitions, ect. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 1 minute ago, Teemacey said: Funny thing is, I did block him. I just keep unblocking him. I may need to delete social media all together, this is miserable. I have been working out, but working out just reminds me of us. We used to workout together and do fun little competitions, ect. Definitely delete your social media. I may delete mind as well. Get another hobby like ceramics or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 4 minutes ago, stillafool said: Definitely delete your social media. I may delete mind as well. Get another hobby like ceramics or something. Are your going through a heartbreak currently? Or have in the past? It’s good to hear others experiences. Everything reminds me of him, Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 40 minutes ago, Teemacey said: Are your going through a heartbreak currently? Or have in the past? It’s good to hear others experiences. Everything reminds me of him, No sweetie, I'm an older married lady who has been married for 27 years now. I have had many heartbreaks in my youth because I had an extensive dating life and a past marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 6 minutes ago, stillafool said: No sweetie, I'm an older married lady who has been married for 27 years now. I have had many heartbreaks in my youth because I had an extensive dating life and a past marriage. How did you cope in the past? What was your longest relationship and most difficult heartbreak? I’m 28, and I just feel like I’m getting older and older and losing hope on love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 9 minutes ago, stillafool said: No sweetie, I'm an older married lady who has been married for 27 years now. I have had many heartbreaks in my youth because I had an extensive dating life and a past marriage. I feel like he’s over me. I’m sure he BEEN started to lose feelings for me and probably already processed his emotions, which is why it seems like he’s moving on fast when in reality, he been lost hope for us. He just kept telling me he didn’t. So it’s like, im the one hurting more when he just doesn’t care at all Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 1 hour ago, Teemacey said: I’m 28, and I just feel like I’m getting older and older and losing hope on love. Nonsense. I met the love of my life at the age of 45. I know a woman who happily re-married at the age of 75. As long as you have the ability to love, you’ll always be able to find someone who will love you back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 Just now, Gebidozo said: Nonsense. I met the love of my life at the age of 45. I know a woman who happily re-married at the age of 75. As long as you have the ability to love, you’ll always be able to find someone who will love you back. How did you cope with past breakups and heartbreak? This is a little bit harder for me because he didn’t technically do anything “wrong” but want to be with me really really bad and was committed to trying to be in a relationship with me for a year straight. He loved me that much. Most ppl would give up waaaay before a year but he didn’t, I feel like I won’t find love like that again. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 6 minutes ago, Teemacey said: How did you cope with past breakups and heartbreak? This is a little bit harder for me because he didn’t technically do anything “wrong” but want to be with me really really bad and was committed to trying to be in a relationship with me for a year straight. He loved me that much. Most ppl would give up waaaay before a year but he didn’t, I feel like I won’t find love like that again. I coped pretty much like everyone else. Felt like life was over for a while, then the wound began to heal. I did much worse things than you, wronged women who did nothing wrong at all, broke up with them. Other times, women broke up with me. Both hurt, in a different way. So many times I felt like I won’t find love again. You’re only 28, you basically just stopped being a kid and are entering your best age now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 11 minutes ago, Gebidozo said: I coped pretty much like everyone else. Felt like life was over for a while, then the wound began to heal. I did much worse things than you, wronged women who did nothing wrong at all, broke up with them. Other times, women broke up with me. Both hurt, in a different way. So many times I felt like I won’t find love again. You’re only 28, you basically just stopped being a kid and are entering your best age now. Have you ever left like you made a mistake by breaking up with someone? I’m basically you in this situation, I’m letting someone go but he didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just I’m so traumatized I don’t know what it’s like to be in a healthy relationship, like someone said. Part of me wish once I start therapy and start working towards healing that him and I will reconcile, but I know that’s highly unlikely. He’s more likely to find the love of his life than I am. I have a hard time with letting ppl go Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 2 hours ago, Teemacey said: How did you cope in the past? What was your longest relationship and most difficult heartbreak? I’m 28, and I just feel like I’m getting older and older and losing hope on love. TBH, my first love from High School was one of the hardest to get over and I was in so much pain and struggling that my parents sent me to therapy. After him, the rest, including my ex husband was easier to get over. My method of getting over someone is to get a new haircut, go shopping and buy new clothes, and treat myself to my favorite restaurant. Then I would go out to clubs and other places with my friends and meet new guys. It's doubtful that he's completely over you this soon. He is trying to cope and move on with his life. What else can he do at this point? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 5 minutes ago, stillafool said: TBH, my first love from High School was one of the hardest to get over and I was in so much pain and struggling that my parents sent me to therapy. After him, the rest, including my ex husband was easier to get over. My method of getting over someone is to get a new haircut, go shopping and buy new clothes, and treat myself to my favorite restaurant. Then I would go out to clubs and other places with my friends and meet new guys. It's doubtful that he's completely over you this soon. He is trying to cope and move on with his life. What else can he do at this point? I’m excited for therapy! My longest relationship and first real relationship was 7 years, and this was RIGHT out of high school. We stayed together for such a long time I couldn’t see life without him. Actually, I was on this forum trying to cope with the breakup. We ended up getting back together and I got pregnant and he ditched me for another girl while pregnant. After that, I was done. He tried to come back. I haven’t even begun to process that breakup so I don’t even have the tools to get over someone. I have a habit of blocking and unblocking. Yesterday I unblocked him, and an hour ago he texted and told me he injured himself. Not sure why, I just said I was sorry and to be careful, he attempted to continue the conversation but I’m not responding. I want to tell him so bad that I’m trying to heal and move on but I don’t want to come off as negative, since all of our conversations this past month have been negative. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 3 hours ago, Teemacey said: I have a habit of blocking and unblocking. Yesterday I unblocked him, and an hour ago he texted and told me he injured himself. Not sure why, I just said I was sorry and to be careful, he attempted to continue the conversation but I’m not responding. I want to tell him so bad that I’m trying to heal and move on but I don’t want to come off as negative, since all of our conversations this past month have been negative. All this blocking and unblocking and responding is setting back your healing. Kindly, when it comes to healing, you're your own worst enemy. I guess you could carry on if this is how you want to be, but your words say something different Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 45 minutes ago, basil67 said: All this blocking and unblocking and responding is setting back your healing. Kindly, when it comes to healing, you're your own worst enemy. I guess you could carry on if this is how you want to be, but your words say something different No, I honestly don’t. Idk why I feel so guilty if I blocked him, cause he was always there for me & I just feel like what if he needs me and I’m not there? Mind you, this person had no issues with ghosting me in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted August 15 Share Posted August 15 8 hours ago, Teemacey said: Have you ever left like you made a mistake by breaking up with someone? Of course! I was mad with regret and remorse. But those decisions, whether they were mistakes or not, shape your life path. If all those things hadn’t happened to me, I wouldn’t have met the love of my life. The last thing you should be doing now is thinking about what will happen in your love life in the future. You have no way of knowing that, and your current breakup is no indication at all of any future failures. Link to post Share on other sites
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