Author Teemacey Posted August 20 Author Share Posted August 20 (edited) 9 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: Hm. What happened to: ??? You wrote that 5 hours ago. 9 hours ago you were asking for help on how to stop wanting to reach out to him. Don't bother answering, I'm sure you're just busy trying to keep that door open and keep his attention. What he really "deserves" is to be left alone so he can move on with his life, and you also should be focussed on that. Is your preoccupation with this man interfering with your ability to parent effectively? Between motherhood and being an NP, it seems like your day to day life must have some pretty real demands to keep your mind occupied. Oh brother…. He didn’t respond. I kind of prepared myself for that but nothing prepared me for that. I just feel so stupid and dumb for sending that. This will be his second time ghosting me after pouring my heart out. Edited August 20 by Teemacey Link to post Share on other sites
maggiemtn Posted August 20 Share Posted August 20 8 hours ago, Teemacey said: Oh brother…. He didn’t respond. I kind of prepared myself for that but nothing prepared me for that. I just feel so stupid and dumb for sending that. This will be his second time ghosting me after pouring my heart out. Respectfully, he’s not ghosting you if you said “it’s best we don’t talk.” You said that, then wrote him a letter pouring your heart out. He doesn’t owe you a response, and any response given would just create more back and forth. Set a boundary with yourself. We’ve all been there, but please pick yourself up and focus on your other priorities. You’re giving away all your dignity—take it from someone who’s done that before, it makes getting over it much harder. The day I blocked my ex (for good!!!) was the day I truly started to heal. Anything less will keep you stuck in a toxic loop. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 20 Share Posted August 20 10 hours ago, Teemacey said: Oh brother…. He didn’t respond. I kind of prepared myself for that but nothing prepared me for that. I just feel so stupid and dumb for sending that. This will be his second time ghosting me after pouring my heart out. You told him he didn't have to respond so it's not fair to accuse him of ghosting you when he's just moved on as he should. 21 hours ago, Teemacey said: I made sure to make it clear that I’m not sending it to make amends, and that I’m cool with him not responding. I also wished him the best and told him I hope and pray that he finds someone who’s right for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 20 Author Share Posted August 20 Just now, stillafool said: You told him he didn't have to respond so it's not fair to accuse him of ghosting you when he's just moved on as he should. True. He did respond but I’m gonna leave him alone. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 5 hours ago, Teemacey said: True. He did respond but I’m gonna leave him alone. This seems like you both are not done carrying on with this sad tale. I hope you get to the point where you're ready to move on pretty soon, Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 21 Author Share Posted August 21 11 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: This seems like you both are not done carrying on with this sad tale. I hope you get to the point where you're ready to move on pretty soon, No, it’s just me. But we have no choice but to move on. It’s kinda hard because I really truly believe I won’t find someone as good as him. I’m gonna get therapy. I try to keep myself as busy as possible but the minute I have time to myself I just break down. & the thought that this is just the beginning & I have a long ways to go before I no longer feel like this does not help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 21 Author Share Posted August 21 13 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: This seems like you both are not done carrying on with this sad tale. I hope you get to the point where you're ready to move on pretty soon, I know I’m in my head and the letter was for my closure and I felt like he deserved it, why do I feel even worse than before? The message was SUPER long, an essay. And he took a day to respond and his response was “I love you and always will”. Why did that make me feel way worse than before? Like I honestly feel like I would have felt better had he not responded. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 You will start to feel better when you actually stop contact between you and this guy. START. Healing takes a long time and you cannot START when you're still angling and behaving in ways that you are covertly *hoping* will get a desired reaction out of him. Keep this up - and keep feeling this way longer. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 21 Author Share Posted August 21 (edited) 3 hours ago, NuevoYorko said: You will start to feel better when you actually stop contact between you and this guy. START. Healing takes a long time and you cannot START when you're still angling and behaving in ways that you are covertly *hoping* will get a desired reaction out of him. Keep this up - and keep feeling this way longer. Good luck. Thank you so much. SERIOUSLY! This thread has helped me tremendously and have given me great advice and support. It’s just up to me to use it now. I have a really hard time with letting people go when it’s time for me to. Especially ones who was nothing but supportive and caring to me. Not even just romantically. It’s like I meet people and I want them to stay in my life forever & it just doesn’t work that way. This heartbreak is way worse than my first, and my first was a 7 year relationship. I’ve known this guy for 2 years and he’s shown me what REAL love. I just couldn’t get my stuff together for him. Edited August 21 by Teemacey Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 26 Author Share Posted August 26 On 8/21/2024 at 1:05 PM, NuevoYorko said: You will start to feel better when you actually stop contact between you and this guy. START. Healing takes a long time and you cannot START when you're still angling and behaving in ways that you are covertly *hoping* will get a desired reaction out of him. Keep this up - and keep feeling this way longer. Good luck. It has been a week since we last spoke and idk why, but today I’m having a hard time. I want to text him so bad but I’m not. For some reason the urge to text him is stronger than it has been this entire time. I thought at least by now it would be a LITTLE better but it feels like I’m making no progress. Like I just miss my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted August 26 Author Share Posted August 26 25 minutes ago, Teemacey said: It has been a week since we last spoke and idk why, but today I’m having a hard time. I want to text him so bad but I’m not. For some reason the urge to text him is stronger than it has been this entire time. I thought at least by now it would be a LITTLE better but it feels like I’m making no progress. Like I just miss my friend. And I just wonder if he misses me. We were part of each others daily routine for over a year & I can’t help but wonder am I the only one hurting? & how is this so easy for him. Ugh I’m ready for this day to be over Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted September 15 Author Share Posted September 15 On 8/21/2024 at 1:05 PM, NuevoYorko said: You will start to feel better when you actually stop contact between you and this guy. START. Healing takes a long time and you cannot START when you're still angling and behaving in ways that you are covertly *hoping* will get a desired reaction out of him. Keep this up - and keep feeling this way longer. Good luck. So it has been a month (basically) of no contact aaaaaand. He posted another girl. Idk HOW to feel but like…. Im not angry yall 😂 genuinely not mad. It just goes to show that he GENUINELY did care about me. And I say this because I didn’t believe he actually wanted me. I used to tell him “you only want me because you’re not interested in no one else at the moment” and he said “if I wanted something else I would have went got it”. So he was telling the truth. It feels good to know that I was genuinely loved and I can’t help but be happy and wish him the best. It stings, of course but I am happy for him. I know it’s gonna hit me hard later and I’m gonna feel the emotions as they come. And advice moving forward besides stop looking at his page? Which now I will DEFINITELY do but in a way I feel like I needed this to genuinely move on. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 15 Share Posted September 15 2 hours ago, Teemacey said: So it has been a month (basically) of no contact aaaaaand. He posted another girl. Idk HOW to feel but like…. Im not angry yall 😂 genuinely not mad. It just goes to show that he GENUINELY did care about me. And I say this because I didn’t believe he actually wanted me. I used to tell him “you only want me because you’re not interested in no one else at the moment” and he said “if I wanted something else I would have went got it”. So he was telling the truth. It feels good to know that I was genuinely loved and I can’t help but be happy and wish him the best. It stings, of course but I am happy for him. I know it’s gonna hit me hard later and I’m gonna feel the emotions as they come. And advice moving forward besides stop looking at his page? Which now I will DEFINITELY do but in a way I feel like I needed this to genuinely move on. How does any of this prove that he genuinely did care about you? I'm utterly failing to see the connection between what you wrote and how you drew that conclusion 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted September 15 Author Share Posted September 15 1 minute ago, basil67 said: How does any of this prove that he genuinely did care about you? I'm utterly failing to see the connection between what you wrote and how you drew that conclusion I guess because at first I thought that he was only trying to get with me because no one else was in the picture. And I used to always say if someone else was in the picture or gave him attention he would leave. Kinda like my ex. The minute another girl gave him attention he immediately forgot about me. And he (the friend) used to always say he only wanted me and was focused on me and if he genuinely wanted someone else he would go out and find it. The minute we decide to go our separate ways he did exactly that so he was telling me the truth. Am I being delusional?! Lol tell me if I am!!! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 15 Share Posted September 15 6 minutes ago, Teemacey said: I guess because at first I thought that he was only trying to get with me because no one else was in the picture. And I used to always say if someone else was in the picture or gave him attention he would leave. Kinda like my ex. The minute another girl gave him attention he immediately forgot about me. And he (the friend) used to always say he only wanted me and was focused on me and if he genuinely wanted someone else he would go out and find it. The minute we decide to go our separate ways he did exactly that so he was telling me the truth. Am I being delusional?! Lol tell me if I am!!! Yes, you're being delusional. If he genuinely, romantically cared about you, things wouldn't have ended how they did. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted September 15 Author Share Posted September 15 (edited) 3 minutes ago, basil67 said: Yes, you're being delusional. If he genuinely, romantically cared about you, things wouldn't have ended how they did. I kind of have this feeling that she was in the picture prior to us ending things. Hence why he became so distant, hence why I started to push him away more because I sensed it but knew he wouldn’t tell me. The same thing happened with his ex. He started being mean to me and I kept asking was there a reason and he kept denying. It’s like when you’ve been talking with someone for a while you feel when their energy shifts. I guess that’s why in a way, when I seen him post her I wasn’t even shocked. Not in the slightest. Edited September 15 by Teemacey Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 15 Share Posted September 15 28 minutes ago, Teemacey said: I kind of have this feeling that she was in the picture prior to us ending things. Hence why he became so distant, hence why I started to push him away more because I sensed it but knew he wouldn’t tell me. The same thing happened with his ex. He started being mean to me and I kept asking was there a reason and he kept denying. It’s like when you’ve been talking with someone for a while you feel when their energy shifts. I guess that’s why in a way, when I seen him post her I wasn’t even shocked. Not in the slightest. This isn't love ^ 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted September 15 Author Share Posted September 15 (edited) 3 minutes ago, basil67 said: This isn't love ^ I feel like it’s my fault he did this though. He wanted to be with me for a long time but I just needed time to heal and go to therapy and work through my past traumas. I just wanted to be the best version of myself if we got into a relationship but I couldn’t ask him to wait around for this. He waited long enough. It’s just too late for me. And I know the type of guy he is, he’s not letting her go and she’s not letting him go. She’s lucky. All he wants is to be loved. I can’t help but be kinda sad for myself though. Idk why I just feel like good men are more likely to find the love of their lives than good women are. Edited September 15 by Teemacey Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 15 Share Posted September 15 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Teemacey said: Idk why I just feel like good men are more likely to find the love of their lives than good women are. Unless you are suggesting that good men are finding the love of their life with bad women, this makes no mathematical sense. You've really got to stop overthinking it all Edited September 15 by basil67 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted September 15 Author Share Posted September 15 3 minutes ago, basil67 said: Unless you are suggesting that good men are finding the love of their life with bad women, this makes no mathematical sense. You've really got to stop overthinking it all I know, I know. Thank you! It’s just so fresh. I don’t know her so I can’t say she’s awful. What I was saying is he’s a good man so he’ll have great success with his new relationship. I went through this EXACT same thing with him so you would think I’m able to cope better but I’m not. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 15 Share Posted September 15 (edited) 45 minutes ago, Teemacey said: I know, I know. Thank you! It’s just so fresh. I don’t know her so I can’t say she’s awful. What I was saying is he’s a good man so he’ll have great success with his new relationship. I went through this EXACT same thing with him so you would think I’m able to cope better but I’m not. Kindly Teemacey, I really can't follow your line of thought, the timeline of him moving on or your assumptions about him and his future relationship(s). Have you spoken to your therapist? It may be easier to unpack this when you're talking with someone face to face Edited September 15 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted September 15 Author Share Posted September 15 8 minutes ago, basil67 said: Kindly Teemacey, I really can't follow your line of thought, the timeline of him moving on or your assumptions about him and his future relationship(s). Have you spoken to your therapist? It may be easier to unpack this when you're talking with someone face to face Not yet. I plan to this week if she has something available. I’m just having trouble processing what I saw today. Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted September 15 Share Posted September 15 4 minutes ago, Teemacey said: Not yet. I plan to this week if she has something available. I’m just having trouble processing what I saw today. I do hope that you find some happiness Teemacey 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teemacey Posted September 15 Author Share Posted September 15 1 minute ago, happyhorizons said: I do hope that you find some happiness Teemacey Omg, I haven’t cried in almost 2 weeks and this just made me break down. Thank you so much!! This is just so hard. I felt like I was making progress and seeing what I saw today just set me all the way back. Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted September 16 Share Posted September 16 5 minutes ago, Teemacey said: Omg, I haven’t cried in almost 2 weeks and this just made me break down. Thank you so much!! This is just so hard. I felt like I was making progress and seeing what I saw today just set me all the way back. No, you need to continue to look forward with optimism and hope. You can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
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