sickandtiredOfex Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 (edited) I got speaking to a guy online 10 years ago, just chatting about life and stuff kinda like a pen pal. I asked him if he wanted to try WhatsApp and he said he didn't have it, I've asked him to send me a picture but he makes excuses up.. It's weird because I've no interest in him romantically it's just a online pal, we don't speak all the time.. So I never heard from him for a few years. I recently got my head wasted by an ex and next day penpal messages again. I'm not saying it could be the ex but it just seems weird. I asked him to WhatsApp me he yet again made an excuse, I asked for a picture he made an excuse. 10 years you'd think he would reveal himself. I'm getting paranoid. Should I be paranoid? Edited August 6 by sickandtiredOfex Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 12 hours ago, sickandtiredOfex said: I'm not saying it could be the ex but it just seems weird. It does seem wierd, maybe it is indeed the Ex. Stranger things have happened. However it seems like you don't lose much dialing back (even further) with this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 (edited) If nothing else - he’s not willing to share himself (photo) with you. So he’s not up front and honest. seems like a time waster. It could be anyone. have they ever asked for money or anything from you? I say “they” because it may not be a male. Edited August 6 by S2B Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickandtiredOfex Posted August 7 Author Share Posted August 7 No never asked for money at all. For past 10 years I've asked though we don't chat all the time he finds me on some site and we chat. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 7 Share Posted August 7 It's not impossible he's catfishing you. If I were you, I'd tell your online friend that you're no longer comfortable talking to someone who won't identify himself. And a photo isn't good enough. It's gotta be facetime or he's gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickandtiredOfex Posted August 7 Author Share Posted August 7 4 hours ago, basil67 said: It's not impossible he's catfishing you. If I were you, I'd tell your online friend that you're no longer comfortable talking to someone who won't identify himself. And a photo isn't good enough. It's gotta be facetime or he's gone. He makes excuses like he has a girlfriend but there was times he was telling me he didn't have a gf so there's no excuse not to show his face then he tells me his name isn't really his it's his middle one but says he's definetly not lying to me. lol honest to god it's mental Link to post Share on other sites
heartwhole2 Posted August 7 Share Posted August 7 (edited) Ten years is a long time not to know the identity of an online friend. I've made online friends, but we always exchanged our real emails and names. There's no way for you to verify anything this person is telling you, so I would pull back and try to invest that energy into relationships that are based on mutual trust and transparency. It's entirely possible this is someone you know in real life who wanted more access to you. It's probably more likely, though, that it's someone who is living life online and who, because of their life circumstances or social anxiety, doesn't want to identify themselves. The reason doesn't really matter, though. It's a hollow, one-sided relationship either way. Edited August 7 by heartwhole2 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted August 7 Share Posted August 7 not really catfishing if they aren't gaining anything from it. maybe they just want an anonymous penpal. now, if you're sending this person nudes, money, gifts, etc., then yeah, you might be getting "catfished" Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickandtiredOfex Posted August 7 Author Share Posted August 7 3 hours ago, heartwhole2 said: Ten years is a long time not to know the identity of an online friend. I've made online friends, but we always exchanged our real emails and names. There's no way for you to verify anything this person is telling you, so I would pull back and try to invest that energy into relationships that are based on mutual trust and transparency. It's entirely possible this is someone you know in real life who wanted more access to you. It's probably more likely, though, that it's someone who is living life online and who, because of their life circumstances or social anxiety, doesn't want to identify themselves. The reason doesn't really matter, though. It's a hollow, one-sided relationship either way. I met this guy on a dating site, as I remember he didn't have a profile picture either.. But I enjoyed chatting to him.. So I added him to some website I used that I posted nudes on, I don't anymore though!! He doesn't have any friends on his only me and only talks to me though not all the time like once every few weeks or so then I get bored... but it went silent for 2 years on it.. Had an argument with ex on Sunday and next day catfish guy is messaging me on the site on Monday.. It could be a coincidence I don't know. But it has made me demand a picture and gave him my phone number told him to call but nothing. I took him off my friend's and waiting on an answer from him and deleting my profile it's outdated and a younger version of me. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted August 7 Share Posted August 7 You could potentially be communicating with an old lady. You have no idea who is behind your interactions. don’t assume it’s a “he” or anything he has described himself as. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 7 Share Posted August 7 3 hours ago, flitzanu said: not really catfishing if they aren't gaining anything from it. maybe they just want an anonymous penpal. now, if you're sending this person nudes, money, gifts, etc., then yeah, you might be getting "catfished" If it's a random stranger, this is true. But if it's the ex messing with her, then his payback is being able to mess with her 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 Why would you continue chatting with someone you felt you needed to demand a photo of? I would just not continue communicating with this person. You need better boundaries for yourself and the people you interact with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickandtiredOfex Posted August 9 Author Share Posted August 9 On 8/8/2024 at 5:34 AM, ExpatInItaly said: Why would you continue chatting with someone you felt you needed to demand a photo of? I would just not continue communicating with this person. You need better boundaries for yourself and the people you interact with. Ah he messaged again as I was expecting and typed how he was genuine and if I thought that way surely he would have slipped up and he said he doesn't know me. My reply to that was I didn't know him either and fed up with men treating me like that and just deleted my whole profile. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sickandtiredOfex Posted August 9 Author Share Posted August 9 On 8/7/2024 at 9:49 PM, S2B said: You could potentially be communicating with an old lady. You have no idea who is behind your interactions. don’t assume it’s a “he” or anything he has described himself as. Claimed he was genuine and if he wasn't he'd have slipped up over the 10 years. Lol ya don't think so just deleted my profile Link to post Share on other sites
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