Not attracted or interested in anyone on dating apps

[GoodVibess]

I’m 24 soon and recently I’ve not had any interest in absolute anyone on dating apps. It’s gotten to the point I don’t even like their face. I’m not ugly myself either, last year I had much better luck and I actually lost weight and look a lot better. I feel depressed and unwanted by the men who swipe on me. I still cry with the handsome guy I ruined things with, he hates me and never wants to hear from me. I want to go on a date with someone and forget him. But unfortunately, I only have dating apps as the option to find anyone. It seems only very unattractive men are using dating apps. Please help. 

[smackie9]

Sounds like you need to take a break from it, and get your mental health straightened out. Being desperate because of self loathing isn't the way to go about it. Take a time out and get some self love happening. 

Edited August 6 by smackie9

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, GoodVibess said:

I’m 24 soon and recently I’ve not had any interest in absolute anyone on dating apps. It’s gotten to the point I don’t even like their face. I’m not ugly myself either, last year I had much better luck and I actually lost weight and look a lot better. I feel depressed and unwanted by the men who swipe on me. I still cry with the handsome guy I ruined things with, he hates me and never wants to hear from me. I want to go on a date with someone and forget him. But unfortunately, I only have dating apps as the option to find anyone. It seems only very unattractive men are using dating apps. Please help. 

Do you ever go out with your friends and meet guys at places young people congregate?  That's the best way to meet guys.

[NuevoYorko]

It's fine if you're not attracted or interested in anyone on dating apps.  People don't need to be desperately dating 100% of their waking hours for heaven's sake.   

You definitely need to develop other aspects of your life.  From your posts on this board, it seem that you have no friends or interests besides GETTING A MAN.  I assure you that the kind of man you'd probably like to "get" is not going to be drawn to that.  

What kind of work do you do?  What are your interests?   What gets you really excited in life?  What do you love?  Who is very important to you in your life, and why?  What are you proud of yourself for?  What are two things you'd love to  experience in life?  What are things you'd like to accomplish?  Are you planning any further education or to learn any new skills?  

Focus on things like the above for a while.  Give the desperate man-hunt a sabbatical.  

 

[Gebidozo]

The very first thing you should do is forget about that “handsome guy”. I know nothing about him or you, but just the way you describe your inability to get over him is unattractive.

I’m telling you bluntly that I would never date a woman who still cries over some “handsome guy”. I wouldn’t allow anyone to use me as a tool needed to get over someone, as an emotional rebound. I’m sure I’m not the only man who feels this way.

Take a complete break from dating. Focus on other aspects of your life, get over that guy, and then try to date again.

Edited August 7 by Gebidozo

[maggiemtn]

Don’t date when you are still hung up on someone else. It always turns out poorly. Most of the time when you’re dating to forget someone, you find flaws and compare the new person to the old one and you end up missing them more, prolonging your healing time. Focus on your friends, family, hobbies, job. 
 

My last ex and I broke up when I was in school for a career change. I decided not to date until I had everything in my life reasonably in order. I was happy alone. And once I was, I found my person. You can do that too, but first you must be happy with yourself and your own life. 

[basil67]

On 8/7/2024 at 4:08 AM, GoodVibess said:

I still cry with the handsome guy I ruined things with, he hates me and never wants to hear from me. I want to go on a date with someone and forget him

You still cry with him?  Or about him?   If he never wants to hear from you, I hope you're not calling him crying.    And please don't go on a date with someone to forget him - it would be beyond selfish of you to use someone for this purpose.   Save the dating for when you're over the 'handsome guy' and are ready to be dating

As an aside, you've got multiple posts about you being 23 with a 19yo guy.  Is this all the same guy, or are you into younger men?    There's nothing wrong with dating guys a few years younger, but if you are dating with a view to a long term relationship and marriage, you'll be wasting your time if the guy is just 19.  Aim for  a guy who's 25-30

[GoodVibess]

10 minutes ago, basil67 said:

You still cry with him?  Or about him?   If he never wants to hear from you, I hope you're not calling him crying.    And please don't go on a date with someone to forget him - it would be beyond selfish of you to use someone for this purpose.   Save the dating for when you're over the 'handsome guy' and are ready to be dating

As an aside, you've got multiple posts about you being 23 with a 19yo guy.  Is this all the same guy, or are you into younger men?    There's nothing wrong with dating guys a few years younger, but if you are dating with a view to a long term relationship and marriage, you'll be wasting your time if the guy is just 19.  Aim for  a guy who's 25-30

I meant to say I cry about him, the guy I was seeing is 26. He hurt me a lot he won’t unblock my number. It’s been a month now, I have hope I will hear from him, but probably will never happen.

[basil67]

duplicate post

Edited August 8 by basil67

[basil67]

If he hurt you a lot, why do you want to get in contact with him again?   And why did he block you?

[NuevoYorko]

He won't unblock you for a reason:  He does not want to hear from you or talk to you.   I'm not sure why you'd want to be chasing after a man who feels that way about you.   Until you have much higher standards for yourself, I'm afraid you're going to be stuck pining for guys you do not know, who do not know you, who are not interested in you, etc.  Why would you do this to yourself.

[Gebidozo]

22 hours ago, GoodVibess said:

I meant to say I cry about him, the guy I was seeing is 26. He hurt me a lot he won’t unblock my number. It’s been a month now, I have hope I will hear from him, but probably will never happen.

You won’t have success with men if you keep chasing jerks that hurt and block you. Lack of self-respect is a very unattractive trait.

[CollinW]

On 8/6/2024 at 1:08 PM, GoodVibess said:

I feel depressed and unwanted by the men who swipe on me

 

On 8/6/2024 at 1:08 PM, GoodVibess said:

It seems only very unattractive men are using dating apps. Please help. 

You want the men you want to desire you, but you also think all of the men on the apps are ugly. 

You're depressed about the idea of the men you want looking at you the same way you look at everyone else. 

You don't see the irony and to be blunt, sheer hypocrisy in these two perspectives?  

[Alpacalia]

I learnt this recently, people are so much hotter in person. It's just that 3D people are sexier than 2D people.😃 (People who you meet face-to-face vs people who you see on a screen). But anyhow:

Take a break from dating apps. Hey, why not stop trying to replace the handsome guy? It's okay to grieve him for a while. He's a loss. And that could be contributing too.

[basil67]

14 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

I learnt this recently, people are so much hotter in person. It's just that 3D people are sexier than 2D people.😃 

 

YES! I could be scrolling through a heap of photos of men and not many do it for me.  But put me at an event with men who are talking, smiling and engaging and they become soooo much more attractive.