what makes a woman or man marriageable?

[melody]

anyone have any opinions on this subject. it seems to me that deciding to get married is all stacked in the man's favor. he is the one who ask's yet it is up to the woman to decide so i guess there is an equal part here. it seems as if timing and being the right time has often been a factor in my lack of decisions about marriage. i would like to believe that the fantasy model and image that many young girls were brought up with of meeting their knight in shining armour is not reality most of the time. very seldom are some men that eager to be married actually they seem to avoid marriage like the plague. so my question is for those of you married men or married woman who made that walk down the aisle what helped to make you a "marriageable woman" or

 

"marriageable man" what factors helped you know that you had found your soul mate or the person that you decided to make a committment and vows to?

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "it seems to me that deciding to get married is all stacked in the man's favor."

 

So what cave have you been hibernating in for the past two decades? More often than not, it's the woman who brings up the subject of marriage...and even more often it's the woman who presses for marriage.

 

Once a woman decides she wants to be married, in general or to a particular man, she is often the one who pushes the matter until it gets done.

 

______________________________

 

Just because somebody defines another as "marriageable" doesn't make them so. People usually ascribe that quality to someone who has their life reasonably together, is stable in their workplace, is financially stable and generally seems ready for marriage. But that doesn't make that person have a desire to be married.

 

I don't know why everybody's got this big thing about timing and marriage. Every person on the planet can be married when he or she considers the time, place, person and life situation to be right. Anybody who gets married when those things aren't reasonably together is just plain insane...and, unfortunately, that's a very good part of the time.

 

As far as knowing when the time and person are right, there is no magic formula. It's just an intuitive feeling you have, and since half of the marriages in the US end in divorce, better than half the time that intuitive feeling is off. I do suppose if there are some happy years then it was successful by today's standards.

 

Now, in some countries where there are arranged marriages...such as in India...the rules are very different. In those places, it's when the parents feel the timing is right and they have found the right person for their son or daughter. It's a whole different perspective on what you are discussing.

[WGirl]

The woman may press for marriage but it doesn't always work. Basically, the woman has to wait around for the man to ask her to marry him. Some women wait for years and some never get to the alter after waiting for years.

YOU WRITE: "it seems to me that deciding to get married is all stacked in the man's favor."

 

So what cave have you been hibernating in for the past two decades? More often than not, it's the woman who brings up the subject of marriage...and even more often it's the woman who presses for marriage. Once a woman decides she wants to be married, in general or to a particular man, she is often the one who pushes the matter until it gets done.

 

______________________________ Just because somebody defines another as "marriageable" doesn't make them so. People usually ascribe that quality to someone who has their life reasonably together, is stable in their workplace, is financially stable and generally seems ready for marriage. But that doesn't make that person have a desire to be married.

 

I don't know why everybody's got this big thing about timing and marriage. Every person on the planet can be married when he or she considers the time, place, person and life situation to be right. Anybody who gets married when those things aren't reasonably together is just plain insane...and, unfortunately, that's a very good part of the time. As far as knowing when the time and person are right, there is no magic formula. It's just an intuitive feeling you have, and since half of the marriages in the US end in divorce, better than half the time that intuitive feeling is off. I do suppose if there are some happy years then it was successful by today's standards. Now, in some countries where there are arranged marriages...such as in India...the rules are very different. In those places, it's when the parents feel the timing is right and they have found the right person for their son or daughter. It's a whole different perspective on what you are discussing.

 

[melody]

thanks w girl for your response to the marriageability of men or woman. i have found in my experience that most men do not want to be married and will avoid making a committment like the plague. so the women can push for being married but if a man is not ready, i.e. doesn't want to give up his freedom, believes he can find a ideal fantasy woman, or just doesn't think it makes any difference to be married they will not be married. also i think the excuse of being together is not reality. many people want to wait until their "house is in order" but life brings with it changes and just when everything might be in order things change. perhaps the idealistic notion which many women are brought up with of finding your prince charming and him sweeping you off your feet is just that an ideal. the reality is men and sometimes women will find many excuses not to marry. so to me it seems when both people have done everything that they have wanted in life and there are no more excuses then maybe there will be a reason to marry. or maybe another idealistic notion, they marry for love?

The woman may press for marriage but it doesn't always work. Basically, the woman has to wait around for the man to ask her to marry him. Some women wait for years and some never get to the alter after waiting for years.

[melody]

thanks tony

 

your response was a reality check into the nature of marriageablity. i agree with you that marriage is very individual. i think my question was approached from the angle of women, but it would be interesting to know what men think about the type of woman they want to marry. and what makes that woman different than any other women that they chose not to marry. i agree americans have a freedom of choice that most people from countries like India do not have, so we should not take our liberties and ability to choose for granted.

YOU WRITE: "it seems to me that deciding to get married is all stacked in the man's favor."

 

So what cave have you been hibernating in for the past two decades? More often than not, it's the woman who brings up the subject of marriage...and even more often it's the woman who presses for marriage. Once a woman decides she wants to be married, in general or to a particular man, she is often the one who pushes the matter until it gets done.

 

______________________________ Just because somebody defines another as "marriageable" doesn't make them so. People usually ascribe that quality to someone who has their life reasonably together, is stable in their workplace, is financially stable and generally seems ready for marriage. But that doesn't make that person have a desire to be married.

 

I don't know why everybody's got this big thing about timing and marriage. Every person on the planet can be married when he or she considers the time, place, person and life situation to be right. Anybody who gets married when those things aren't reasonably together is just plain insane...and, unfortunately, that's a very good part of the time. As far as knowing when the time and person are right, there is no magic formula. It's just an intuitive feeling you have, and since half of the marriages in the US end in divorce, better than half the time that intuitive feeling is off. I do suppose if there are some happy years then it was successful by today's standards. Now, in some countries where there are arranged marriages...such as in India...the rules are very different. In those places, it's when the parents feel the timing is right and they have found the right person for their son or daughter. It's a whole different perspective on what you are discussing.