Dating a Nepali woman.

[Raytx707]

So, I have been dating this Nepali woman for about 2 years. We both live in the US and I am Mexican/ American.  Before getting together I let her know that I had a daughter from a previous relationship and she agreed to that and everything was good. I knew some things about her culture but she did not disclose that her parents would be against her marrying me due to the fact that I have a 6 year old daughter and now she's been acting like she wants out of the relationship due to her parents disapproval. Some background information on our relationship is that we hit it off very good. I stay with her for about 4 days a week, we had talked about moving in together, etc. We live about an hour apart which has caused some conflict with us seeing each other. She does not want to seem to compromise with my daughter at this point. ( I know that's bad). However, I even let her build a relationship with my daughter. One day I told her parents that I loved her and that's pretty much when everything took a turn. She told me they don't want her marrying me because I have a child and it would go against her culture. She said they would be unhappy nd therefore she would be, and I ultimately would be. Anyways, some of this doesn't add up for me because I feel like she used me or something because all of the sudden after 2 years she's pulling the I want out card due to her cultural beliefs.

Any feedback from yall would be appreciated. 

Thanks!

 

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, Raytx707 said:

I feel like she used me

Used you for what, exactly?

1 hour ago, Raytx707 said:

all of the sudden after 2 years she's pulling the I want out card due to her cultural beliefs

Maybe she still hoped her parents would accept you. How long ago did you talk to her parents?

It sounds to me like you two are at a dead end, so I am not sure what your question is.  Do you not believe that this is the real reason she wants to end the relationship? 

[Gebidozo]

OP, I was in a similar situation not long ago. For 7 years, I was dating a woman whose parents didn’t accept the fact that I had a kid from a previous marriage. Eventually she broke up with me, the main reason being her fear of doing something her parents strongly disapproved of.

I understand what you’re feeling, I felt used too. I’m fairly certain, though, that neither your GF nor my ex were really consciously “using” us, i.e. never pretended to have a romantic relationship for material gain. It’s just that some people lack maturity, strength, and a sense of freedom and independence, so they can’t break out of their cultural prisons.

You should date someone from your culture, or (and that would be best) someone who has matured enough to have their own opinions and live their own lives rather than blindly follow cultural prescriptions.

 

[ShyViolet]

She is telling you she wants out of the relationship.  It doesn't matter what the reason is, you have no choice but to let her go.  This sounds like a done deal so I'm not sure why you are still unclear.  If she truly wanted to be with you, she wouldn't listen to her parents and she would be with you no matter what, but she doesn't sound interested in that.  You can't force someone to want to be in a relationship.

[smackie9]

She gave it a shot, but her parents are not convinced...she feels she has no choice now but to move on. It happens. I don't think she "used you", she had a plan and it work out.

[Ami1uwant]

On 8/11/2024 at 7:52 AM, ShyViolet said:

She is telling you she wants out of the relationship.  It doesn't matter what the reason is, you have no choice but to let her go.  This sounds like a done deal so I'm not sure why you are still unclear.  If she truly wanted to be with you, she wouldn't listen to her parents and she would be with you no matter what, but she doesn't sound interested in that.  You can't force someone to want to be in a relationship.

What bugs me is if she knew about this from the start…why even pursue this relationship.  
 

for me I’ve had non negotiable things when it came to a relationship that you would find out early on. I ended the relationship due to these differences.