basil67 Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 2 hours ago, OKtoday said: I had a sudden and permanent overnight ending of a relationship happen to me after a 2 year relationship and a somewhat minor argument that most could have worked through in a few hours, but this taught me a very important quality to look for… Can he/she work through things so the relationship can grow? Another part of this equation is that one person's "minor argument" can be another person's deal breaker. This would come about when there's vastly different expectations of what constitutes reasonable behaviour. Also, I think a "minor" argument should be able to be sorted out in four sentences. Needing a few hours to sort it out suggests to me that it was actually a quite significant argument. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tallgurl31 Posted August 17 Author Share Posted August 17 13 hours ago, OKtoday said: I had a sudden and permanent overnight ending of a relationship happen to me after a 2 year relationship and a somewhat minor argument that most could have worked through in a few hours, but this taught me a very important quality to look for… Can he/she work through things so the relationship can grow? if it’s a no, there is really no place for the relationship to go. It would be a relationship that could only maintain itself and keep both partners from growing and changing too. We really didn’t have many arguments so I didn’t experience or consider this earlier, but today this valuable question moves up the list for me. I’ll be looking for this one Yes agreed. I'm big on communication so working things out is important to me. We didn't have many arguments either and what disagreements we did have we had talked through it. This was a petty misunderstanding that could've been worked through if he wanted it to. It still bothers me a bit that he didn't want to and used this to get out the relationship instead of just being up front about it. It's such a cruel way to treat someone. Some days my heart say to text an ask why but I won't silence and moving is the best thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
SurfCity Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 On 8/15/2024 at 12:33 PM, Tallgurl31 said: He was married previously for 17 years. Is he about 20 years older than you? That in itself is a red flag, in my opinion. In the future, try to avoid long distance dating. It's easier for people to maintain a fake personality when you only see them once a week. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tallgurl31 Posted August 17 Author Share Posted August 17 5 minutes ago, SurfCity said: Is he about 20 years older than you? That in itself is a red flag, in my opinion. In the future, try to avoid long distance dating. It's easier for people to maintain a fake personality when you only see them once a week. No we are only a year apart. He was married early. Also I dated someone who lived close a long time ago and it wasn't any better. I think it just depends on the person. Some people have great relationships and others don't whether is near or far. Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted August 17 Share Posted August 17 28 minutes ago, Tallgurl31 said: No we are only a year apart. He was married early. Also I dated someone who lived close a long time ago and it wasn't any better. I think it just depends on the person. Some people have great relationships and others don't whether is near or far. You are RIGHT it’s about THE person. You deserve more respect than this guy showed you regardless of his desire to get out of the relationship. People matter and why this is so difficult to understand is beyond me. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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