I'd appreciate your input

[FredEire]

9 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

I'm not going to say he's juggling the game, but let's be realistic -- he was shopping around for someone better, possibly legitimately better. Or he's fickle. Or he's one of those people who don't look past the tip of their nose because short term fatigue hits and they look for the shiniest new options because the game starts all over. 

It's okay, it happens. You aren't holding any cards or dropping the ball. You just weren't intended to be his partner. 

Let go of the need to have "the power" because it'll backfire. It's a default that only does more harm that it is worth. Trust in yourself. 

I think this is a really good point.

There is always a power balance in a relationship. The healthy place seems to be 50/50, two people who genuinely like eachother working together.

When one person either seeks control or wants to be controlled and dominated to put them "in their place" so to speak it may temporarily satisfy their learned behaviours but in the end it will just end in frustration and possibly abuse. The one with the power will try to maintain it with controlling and restricting behaviour and the one without it will try to continually prove themselves to try and convince their partner to treat them kinder, or use emotional manipulation to try and influence their behaviour indirectly.

I think if you find yourself in that pattern on one side or the other you have to ask yourself why you want that, do you feel a need to dominate because you felt no sense of control over your own life when you were younger, or do you seek someone who will take you for ride because you feel that nobody gave you the direction you needed?

[NuevoYorko]

On 8/16/2024 at 8:55 PM, irresolute said:

 

 

I still want to know in which way can I not inflate his ego. Radio silence? 

The state of his ego is none of your business, frankly.  He's not even really in your life.   Just move on and forget it.  He can have a big old gigantic ego or a little tiny bubble of an ego.  Either way it has no influence on you.

[basil67]

On 8/16/2024 at 7:44 AM, irresolute said:

It means that we’re both starting to navigate the dating world, gathering new experiences, getting to know people. 

If you were actively looking for a guy with whom you could potentially have a future, then I'd advise you to give him a wide berth.  But given that you're both dating with no expectations, does it matter if he's got feelings for someone else?   If you enjoy his company and you're still dating others, you may as well keep seeing him until you don't want to see him anymore. 

Edited August 19 by basil67