Lets see.

[dancinggallon]

So my baby momma and I broke up like beginning of June this year. we've lived together since 2019. She was 19 i was 22. We dated for two months and boom she got pregnant. We decided to keep it and at first she was living with her mom. Then after like 5 months? We moved in together at my mom's. We got along pretty well. We set stuff up for our child to grow up pretty well. Like rules and all that. She didn't feel comfortable at my mom's house so we moved back in with her mom. There, we were there for like a year until November of 2020. 

 

So we started living on our own. Had our child in November of 2019. So on our own since 2020-2024. We never really had any crazy arguments. We had some crazy dips where sometimes we would tell each other maybe it's better if we go our own ways. But we would always reconcile. Anyways, I cheated in 2021. But she didn't find out until 2023. When she confronted me with it i told her I did. But I guess I never did anything to gain her trust back. In 2023 i tried to say sorry by taking the family to Mexico so she can be with her grandma whom raised my baby momma. Time flied by and I didn't see any change in her. 

 

She kept catching me messaging other women so I'm guessing she finally got tired of it. In March 2024 I caught a message from a guy she texted from work. I asked but she said it's just some guy. (red flag immediately of course lmao). Then I noticed this guy liked all her pics on IG.  She added on Snapchat next. Throughout that time I called her one time at 2pm (she works 1st shift) while she was supposedly at work. Cus I was driving around there and was gonna stop by. But she was not there so I called her. She told me she was at Target. But I didn't believe her. But I had nothing backing it up. I worked second shift so I was going to the gym after work. She would sometimes text me hey where are you? I would obviously tell her the truth. But now thinking about it maybe she would put our son to bed and she would go hang outside with that guy. So time flied by and here goes another thing I f***ed up on. (she would alway ask for my location like location share but I would tell her the dumb excuse like I never have my GPS on anyway, dumb AF i know.) 

 

Anyways there was a day she was going to the city with her family but I didn't want to miss my soccer game so I told her just go with her family and I'll stay. That day it rained and they canceled my game. She said are you coming with? I said no. f*** I SHOULDVE WENT 😭😭😭 i could've saved this god damn thing. 

 

Anyways she went and kept me updated on where they went in the city. I know she was for sure with her family because I saw her aunt go with them on the train. But I think at the end of the day maybe she was texting that dick head and he probably told her I did some s*** while I was home. So anyways the next day we went to the park with my friends to play a little soccer. Well she kinda did this thing to me while we were walking to the park she was making a IG story shes like go on ahead I don't want you in the video. I was like I didn't want to be in it anyways. So after we went to go play we went to her mom's house. All is well in my head. Tuesday morning we wake up I can't recall everything but I lay down next to her and she removes my hand from her breast and I ask why? She says she's having major doubts about us. It was very hurtful but I took it as it's okay. Shes probably just going thru something. 

 

Next night I think she tells me I don't want anything with u except being the father of my child. It hurt and she tells me I never loved her. From there it was all kinda blur. There was a weekend she went to another state because her brother came to town and he needed a ride back so she took him over there. Stayed the night at her cousins house. While she was there she apologized for not coming home. I told her it's okay. I told myself maybe she needed time to think about this. I said maybe that's enough time to think. So she gets back and I asked if we could talk. So I'm such an idiot I should've said we have to work this out. But we came into an agreement that the next day we were going to tell our 4 year old that daddy and mommy are not getting along. She initially wanted to stay until the end of the month until she found somewhere else to stay. I stated i don't think I'm comfortable doing that. Then I told her that I would move out to my friends house and she could stay there. She would say she didn't want too because I would throw the rent money in her face that I'm paying it. I said I wouldn't. But then I backed out and my mind was spiraling into a dark abyss. My mind was detoriating at a fast rate. I wanted her to stay but I wanted her gone. I didn't know what to do. 

 

All my close relatives told me to just kick her out. I couldn't do it. So..there was a night i got home and went inside our room she was sleeping in and I told her I'm the s*** that's the difference between us. Forgot to mention I did mention to her if she quickly shows a guy to my son we are going to have problems. I let her keep the good car while I got stuck with the not so good car. The good car is in my name and we were still making car notes on it. The not so good one was in her name but had engine issues that I alone would always fix. Anyways back to the story she got up and went to the hallway and said why the f*** you going in there like that? So we started arguing and she tried leaving the situation but I didn't let her. So she got all tweaked out which is fair. She tried threatening me saying I'll leave? I said "then go" 

 

So she leaves. I tried calling and calling for her to come back. But no avail. She comes back and tells me u get close to me and I will call the cops. Told her "friend" that if I don't leave the house tonight call the cops. So I obviously backed up. Next day I wake up super paranoid and had a gut feeling. 

 

I set up a camera. I start work at 2. She gets off at 3:30. I get an alert on my phone for 3pm. I immediately check it, first clip...just her but I see a box fall at the entrance....weird. Second clip a guy comes in and kisses her while she's at the counter. I died inside. I told my boss I'm having an early lunch and start heading home. I call her mother and told her the situation (immediately regretted that). 

 

I get to the door and slowly unlocked. She tried unlocking from the inside. But I was too quick. Luckily I didn't give them enough time to do some dumb s***. So she admitted to me that they had slept together already, that it just started but I didn't believe her. Told me our love was never real that we did it all for our son. I told her it wasn't true we had 9 months before we had our child. 

 

Her mom came in yelling telling her wtf is she doing why is she doing it. You know mom stuff. 

 

So that day she started packing up. Took some of my stuff took a picture of our little family that was on my dresser. Took my belt for my pants. I know she took it cus she gave it back claiming I put it in a basket that I gave to her cus she wanted some toys of our son. Also there was a night I was picking up my son and we spoke briefly. I told her idk how you saw light in another guy. And she told me yeah but it didn't last long. Next few days we passed by each other at the mall and she was holding the guy's kids hand!!! So I went even deeper. I took the good car from her the next day. 

 

So ever since she moved out she's been constantly calling me, texting me. Comes over to my house drops off food once. Constantly asking me for favors. Ive been suffering a lot but I don't tell her. Crying most nights. Full on depression but I kept taking most of the blame. She came one night and we had a good time drank a beer. I know she's still seeing that guy. Now she wants to work at my job. On my weekend without my son she'll call me even tho it's something she could've sent in a text!! Like wtf??? I remember telling her me at the beginning of the end that she loves attention and I'm guessing that's what that a**h*** (i know it's not 100% his fault but he's still a homewrecker nonetheless) gave her. 

So now when she texts me I start thinking maybe if I give her the attention she'll fall back in love. I only reply when I want too. Or when she wants a favor of dropping of our son I tell her I can't. She gets mad and says I do u favors why can't u reciprocate and I ask ...what favors have u done? 

I asked her if that guy really means that much to you how come u don't ask him for favors??

She said she doesn't have to explain anything to me. She told me I can work at work with you and I'll be fine. IDK how u would feel? 

Last night I start telling her how I loved her and things she did that was super cool. She said "all this time and you're barely saying anything" and didn't reply at all after. 

 

So my question is wtf does she want? 

 

I know most ppl are just gonna say I'm disrespecting myself and I should just cut her off. I'm not looking whom to blame I just want to hear what she may be thinking?? Or some tips on how to move accordingly with this situation. 

 

Y'all can judge me idfc at this point. Just want to see a different perspective.

[basil67]

You've been disrespecting yourself and her since you cheated on her.....and kept in contact with more other women.   And illegally using spyware in your home.  And disengaging in the relationship.   Was it any surprise she found another man?   

It really doesn't matter what she wants....it's time to split up and get a custody arrangement sorted out.

Edited August 20 by basil67

[dancinggallon]

She already lives with her mom. But c'mon man you're not really helping. 

[Gebidozo]

2 hours ago, dancinggallon said:

I know most ppl are just gonna say I'm disrespecting myself

Disrespecting yourself? Well, that too, of course, since any immoral behavior is a disrespect of oneself by definition. But the main point here is that you disrespected her by cheating on her. 

Worse, you don’t even seem to understand that. All you appear to worry about is her new guy. You call him “homewrecker” instead of calling yourself that. You caused her loss of feelings to you and the subsequent breakup. Stop blaming others for something you did.

Try to be a good father and talk to her normally. Why do you expect her to put up with some tricks you’re trying to use to get her “fall in love” with you again instead of humbly accepting her choices and working together to raise your kid is beyond me.

[basil67]

1 hour ago, dancinggallon said:

She already lives with her mom. But c'mon man you're not really helping. 

Your behaviour has been appalling.  I don't know what kind of help you want

[ExpatInItaly]

You need to grow up and start acting like an adult, OP. 

You are far too immature and selfish for a real relationship at this point in your life. Time to put on your Big Boy Pants and behave like a man, and be a good father. This relationship is never going to work but you can start to learn and make better choices for the future.