Sydonia Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 Last year I dated a guy for 5 months approximately. I am 38 y.o. and he is the same age as me. While dating him I discovered he comes from a prominent family with a lot of money, him being really smart and successful on his own. I noticed that there were things he would keep a secret from me (like his date of birth), but I gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking that he needs some time to open up. Two months into our relationship I feel in love with him, because he is smart, he made me laugh and we had really good time together. I also enjoyed talking with him about my work and found that he motivated me to do better at work. After two months things started falling apart, with him refusing to go out or meet my friends, saying he is depressed. He also suffers from OCD (for real, not a metaphor). As time went by, I grew more and more frustrated by having to lead my social life alone. It was as if I had a fantom boyfriend. We discussed these things and the status of the relationship and he told me it s just a phase, and I should not worry. In October, we were talking on the phone about going out, he couldn't find a place he liked to go out, grew frustrated and started shouting at me. I told him it's not ok and the next day when he called I informed him I want to break up. We met the next day and discussed and he pleaded for a second chance, saying that he will change and things will get better. I agreed to give him a second chance and decided to start over again. Meanwhile one of his family members discovered he had cancer and they went abroad for medical advice. He was supposed to be abroad for 3 days, called me on the first day but after that - total silence. I sent him messages every day, asking about the relative and he answered really coldly. He ended up staying for 4 days, not 3, but never told me and on the evening he was supposed to come back I called him but he didn't pick up. The next day he was active on messenger and so I asked him if he saw I called him, to which he replied, yes, but he had been very busy. I never replied to that, because I realized the relationship was doomed and I was also really mad. He called me two times but I didn't answer.The next day he sent me a break up text and it was official. I was still in love with him at that time. Two weeks into the breakup he went to the opera and later I found out that he didn't go alone, but with a woman who looks exactly like me and has the same name as well. Since we are still friends on FB, I saw that he took her to a cabin to celebrate NYE, then went o several outings in the mountains, as well as roadtrips together. Needless to say, I was really hurt. I also want to add that he never posted her, only she posts him and he hides many of her posts from his profile. I started updating my FB profile with pictures of the activities I am doing and he started liking most of my pictures. It's been 7 months since the breakup and he still likes my posts. What should I make of this? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 1 hour ago, Sydonia said: It's been 7 months since the breakup and he still likes my posts. Nothing. It sounds like he's been dating this woman all along and that is the reason he didn't want to go public with you. I still view exes pictures/stories from decades ago but I have no interest in getting back with them. Are you still in love with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 1 hour ago, Sydonia said: What should I make of this? You've wasted enough time on the wrong man. It's over, you need to accept that and move on. Your first step is to block him everywhere and to never again look at his social media. He's moving on with his life, you need to do the same. Think about it, you wasted a full year pining over a man that does not want to be with you. You need to start the process of putting him behind you and meet someone else eventually. Sure you're in love, but after a year not dating him, you're not in love with him, you're in love with the idea of what could have been. That will go away when you stop looking at his social media. You had 2 good months together then it started falling apart. Take control of your life and block him and move on, you don't want to still be feeling like this next year right! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sydonia Posted August 21 Author Share Posted August 21 No, I don't believe I am in love with him. I just find it really strange how much she looks like me, she is my doppelganger and we have the same name!! I did date someone this year, but he was not the right person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sydonia Posted August 21 Author Share Posted August 21 I am not so sure he was dating her at the same time he was going out with me, matter of fact I find that really hard to believe. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 1 hour ago, Sydonia said: No, I don't believe I am in love with him. So why have you been dragging this for almost a year? This is unhealthy. It doesn't matter why she looks like you, he has a type that's all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 5 hours ago, Sydonia said: No, I don't believe I am in love with him. I just find it really strange how much she looks like me, she is my doppelganger and we have the same name!! I did date someone this year, but he was not the right person. All of my exes have married women who look similar to me. He has a type is all that that means. My type is tall, dark skin and slender. That hasn't changed since the 8th grade. Link to post Share on other sites
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