Important Question

[DG]

I had a conversation with my girl-friend about who should pay for the dates. And she insists that a guy should always pay for the date. Now, i agree that a guy should pay in the majority of the cases, but I did disagreed with her when she started justifying that guys should start paying for the dates even from the beginning. like a first date.

 

SHe said, if a guy wants to be with a girl, he better be willing to PAY. As if, we guys, are not equal to women, and the only way we are going to be liked is if we should how much money we are capable and willing to pay.

 

I asked her what if we were making the same amount of salary, whether she would be willing to take me out, and she said " no ".

 

I just wanted to aks for the opinion on this board, as to what is the right way, and what is traditional and whether there is something wrong about women paying....

 

GIve me some ideas and thoughts.

 

I will always pay for a lady, but If I know that she is at least on my level financially, why should I not expect her to trat me nice and well once in a while???

 

Am I asking for something unrealistic???

[Tony T]

First of all, I think it is wrong to ever expect anything. You really set yourself up for disappointment that way.

 

I also think it was very tacky to be having this discussion between the two of you about who is paying. YUK. I don't think the two of you will make it. There's way too much selfishness between the lines.

 

The man who asks the lady out generally pays. But most really nice ladies worth keeping around are really happy to treat at times if they have the money. If not, they give in other little special ways.

 

If you are already having disagreements about money this early in the game, you don't stand a chance with each other. This is not something that should be discussed. The man should pay, period. If along the way the gal doesn't show some generosity or willingness to pay for things...if she can...I think that's a real danger sign.

 

A really sweet lady is always thrilled to take her guy out for a special treat on her tab.

 

You ought to just drop this current deal now and cut your losses. It ain't going to happen.

[DG]

What about airline tickets to Europe, that cost around 800 dollars. If I know she has a job and makes almost as much as I do, why would not she be willing to contribute?

First of all, I think it is wrong to ever expect anything. You really set yourself up for disappointment that way. I also think it was very tacky to be having this discussion between the two of you about who is paying. YUK. I don't think the two of you will make it. There's way too much selfishness between the lines. The man who asks the lady out generally pays. But most really nice ladies worth keeping around are really happy to treat at times if they have the money. If not, they give in other little special ways. If you are already having disagreements about money this early in the game, you don't stand a chance with each other. This is not something that should be discussed. The man should pay, period. If along the way the gal doesn't show some generosity or willingness to pay for things...if she can...I think that's a real danger sign. A really sweet lady is always thrilled to take her guy out for a special treat on her tab.

 

You ought to just drop this current deal now and cut your losses. It ain't going to happen.

 

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "What about airline tickets to Europe, that cost around 800 dollars. If I know she has a job and makes almost as much as I do, why would not she be willing to contribute?"

 

Because she's a selfish, self-centered bxtch!!! Get rid of her.

 

Tickets to Europe are in a whole category by themselves. Considering the status of your relationship, the cost of such tickets should very definitely be split evenly between the two of you.

 

If she is trying to make you feel you should pay this, she is definitely a user and is wanting to take you for everything she can get.

 

A decent lady would not ask you to pay...and would go out of her way to make you feel comfortable going alone. Or she would suggest the two of you go on a driving vacation to a nice town or attraction nearby.

 

Even if this lady has the impression you are very wealthy...just loaded with money...that's no reason for not wanting to pay her fair share.

 

If you don't get rid of her now, you will regret it for a very long time. I've seen this kind. She is even too stupid to hide her selfishness. A shrewd user would promise something in the future to get you to pay now...she's even too stupid to do that. Nothing worse than a user who is dum as well.

[sparkle]

I agree with Tony.

 

Whether you two have been dating for one month or one year, she should offer to pay her half. If not, she is a USER.

 

I would feel AWFUL if I ever asked my boyfriend to pay for the tickets. I would insist on paying my half, or paying for the hotel room/rental car/etc so that I end up paying about an equal share. If she's not ever offering to do so, get rid of her. She's selfish.

 

Even if she didn't have a job, she should offer to pay and figure out a way to come up with the money. But she has a job and is making a decent salary, and on top of that, she's telling you to PAY cause you're a guy?

 

So there. You've heard the same advice from two different people.

 

Tell her to go out and buy the single for the song "Independent Woman" by Destiny's Child.

[trafficguy2000]

Listen to Tony man, I already got burned by a girl who made me pasy the way to Jamiaca (sp?) and if cant even split a tab once in a while then think what it would be like if you got married! I bet 100$ that she would quit her job in a minute and expect you to start pulling in DOUBLE your salary so she can live high on the hog!

YOU ASK: "What about airline tickets to Europe, that cost around 800 dollars. If I know she has a job and makes almost as much as I do, why would not she be willing to contribute?"

 

Because she's a selfish, self-centered bxtch!!! Get rid of her. Tickets to Europe are in a whole category by themselves. Considering the status of your relationship, the cost of such tickets should very definitely be split evenly between the two of you. If she is trying to make you feel you should pay this, she is definitely a user and is wanting to take you for everything she can get. A decent lady would not ask you to pay...and would go out of her way to make you feel comfortable going alone. Or she would suggest the two of you go on a driving vacation to a nice town or attraction nearby. Even if this lady has the impression you are very wealthy...just loaded with money...that's no reason for not wanting to pay her fair share.

 

If you don't get rid of her now, you will regret it for a very long time. I've seen this kind. She is even too stupid to hide her selfishness. A shrewd user would promise something in the future to get you to pay now...she's even too stupid to do that. Nothing worse than a user who is dum as well.

[clia]

I agree with what everyone else has said. When I go out with a guy, I'll usually let him pay for the first two or three times (I've found that guys don't like it when I offer to pay too soon, don't know why), but then I try to treat them about every other time. I don't keep track or anything, but just enough so I feel like I'm not completely mooching off them. Or if on a date, I'll at least pick up the cab fare or late night Taco Bell stop or SOMETHING. Or if he pays for dinner, I'll pick up the movie and popcorn. You get the idea. Personally, I don't feel right letting a guy pay for me all the time, especially when I know I make pretty good money.

 

Why should you have to pay for her all the time?

 

I think it's pretty standard for a guy to pay at first. (That's what society says, right? I always offer to pay my share because I hate feeling like a mooch, especially if I end up not liking the guy much by the end of the date, but IMO, any decent guy will pick it up for #1 if he did the asking out.) Once you've established the 'girlfriend-boyfriend' relationship, it should be pretty much split down the middle, or however both of you feel comfortable with.

 

You aren't asking for anything unrealistic by expecting your girlfriend to treat once and awhile. I can't believe she doesn't WANT to treat you after you've treated her so many times. Seems like you need to get rid of her. It will only get worse. Any independent woman out there loves to treat her guy to a night on the town! (Heck, I know I always like to!)

I had a conversation with my girl-friend about who should pay for the dates. And she insists that a guy should always pay for the date. Now, i agree that a guy should pay in the majority of the cases, but I did disagreed with her when she started justifying that guys should start paying for the dates even from the beginning. like a first date. SHe said, if a guy wants to be with a girl, he better be willing to PAY. As if, we guys, are not equal to women, and the only way we are going to be liked is if we should how much money we are capable and willing to pay. I asked her what if we were making the same amount of salary, whether she would be willing to take me out, and she said " no ".

 

I just wanted to aks for the opinion on this board, as to what is the right way, and what is traditional and whether there is something wrong about women paying.... GIve me some ideas and thoughts. I will always pay for a lady, but If I know that she is at least on my level financially, why should I not expect her to trat me nice and well once in a while??? Am I asking for something unrealistic???

 

[Jzzi]

My boyfriend and I, together, decided we would take turns paying. We made a list of restaurants we would like to try and when it is our turn, we pick one from our list and treat the other person. I earn more than he does, but I have 2 children, which evens us out money wise. Thus, making things easier on both of us and allowing us to enjoy restaurants of our choice. If you are in a solid relationship and your incomes are basically equal, I feel it should be a two-way street.