stillafool Posted August 25 Share Posted August 25 On 8/23/2024 at 1:57 PM, mark clemson said: More dysfunctional game playing... it's either revenge/spite masquerading as "justice" or wrecking something that isn't his to wreck more than he's already inadvertently wrecked it. This is like prematurely "telling" on a person who's leaving their job because "well, I think the boss has a right to know". Who's inventing these "rights"? At best it's dictating your own moral views on cheating onto others. And I understand some folks feel this is a moral imperative. But normally it's more the above. That is, IF the story here were true. Confronting her in front of her husband puts her in a position to tell the truth. If she has lied to him for 6 years that's she's single, he deserves the truth. If she is married the only game that is being played is by her. OP thinks he's been seeing a single woman, and she still may be, so he hasn't wrecked anything. If she is in fact married, she is the one who wrecked her marriage as well as caused a lot of damage to OP. Look, I realize that you and I have opposing views when it comes to infidelity. People come to these forums for opinions on various situations regarding their love lives. They take what they consider useful from our opinions and discard the rest. I too don't agree with a lot of your opinions, but I don't call you out over them, I keep my comments directed to the OP. If you don't' like my comments or don't find them useful, you can just ignore them, but I'm not interested in hearing your opinions on them. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 Are you sure she's not separated or divorced? I mean, it doesn't sound like there is much social media activity past 2011. Unless this woman is a master manipulator and a sociopath, my best guess is that she is either separated or divorced. Can you just ask her? Did you not talk about past relationships when you were dating? How did you find out she is still married and living with her husband and that she treats him like a king? Are you getting all this off social media? The whole family thing recent photo can just be two divorced parents attending a child's event, couldn't it? I'm not saying she isn't married but she would have to be a ****** liar and probably crazy if this is true. To be able to cover that many tracings for this long and be completely happy and comfortable doing so would be insane. I'm mean she would have to be living an active double life 24/7 assuming you are correct, that's nuts. Again though, I am wondering how you even came to this conclusion and found out and from what source you found the info? What is the whole story? Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 17 hours ago, stillafool said: Confronting her in front of her husband puts her in a position to tell the truth. If she has lied to him for 6 years that's she's single, he deserves the truth. I too don't agree with a lot of your opinions, but I don't call you out over them, I keep my comments directed to the OP. If you don't' like my comments or don't find them useful, you can just ignore them, but I'm not interested in hearing your opinions on them. Directing comments to OP has been "the LS way" for a few years now, so I have no issue doing that. It feels a little odd to me to make statements to OP about a hypothetical course of action in a "story" that I'm reasonably convinced isn't true to begin with, however I can certainly stick to that method WRT your posts. As I think you know I do respect that you have different opinions. Generally I will say that I very much do respect you and your posts as well, as I find many of them to be helpful and on point. This particular idea I feel is flawed at multiple levels, and I stand by my earlier statements. However, that doesn't override the general sentiment (for me). As per your request I can direct further commentary to OP. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 (edited) OP, contacting the purported woman's husband doesn't put her in a position to tell the truth. She's in that position every day, she's choosing not to (it sounds like). Confronting her in front of her husband or similar is (at best) simply ramming your views on infidelity down her throat so she is "caught". You gain nothing from it that you wouldn't from some other course of action, such as calling her home under some pretext to see if a man answers. Unless of course you are seeking vindictive satisfaction in causing her distress. I would note that, at least here in the US where gun ownership is common, entering a strange man's home unannounced to confront his wife, about whatever topic, is a) unlikely to get you believed and b) potentially a good way to get shot. Naturally, none of the people suggesting this course of action would be present to take the bullet on your behalf should that occur. Assuming (<1%) your story is true, GL with whatever you decide to do. If not, I still think my advice might have general value to any readers, so I've bothered to post it... Edited August 26 by mark clemson Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 27 Share Posted August 27 11 hours ago, mark clemson said: It feels a little odd to me to make statements to OP about a hypothetical course of action in a "story" that I'm reasonably convinced isn't true to begin with, I don't think so, either. Someone is likely jiust bored on the internet again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 27 Share Posted August 27 I doubt a married woman would convince her extended family and children that she has a boyfriend while married and he's gonna come along to family get together. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted August 28 Share Posted August 28 (edited) How exactly did you meet her? did she specifically say she was single? Edited August 28 by S2B Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 30 Share Posted August 30 On 8/22/2024 at 12:23 PM, Popeye_Jones said: I mean, I ask myself, "dummy, how could you have missed the signs?" Well, as nutty as this sounds, there really weren't any signs. Six years?? Have you not been to her home? Have you not travelled with the woman? Have you not met her family? Why have you not moved in together after six years in the relationship? This doesn’t make any sense… Link to post Share on other sites
semble Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 16 hours ago, BaileyB said: This doesn’t make any sense… You're getting it. Link to post Share on other sites
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