subliminal girl Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 thanks for your advices. I really appreciate that. There are some news: I am not alone with my secret anymore, because I told it a good friend who is also a friend of HER. I always thought that she'd be the last one I would ever tell... I just didn't want to create such a strange situation for her because she is a friend of us both. So I always thought that it must be really weird for her to know it and I didn't want to make trouble. But then it just happened. I didn't plan it, I just felt comfortable to tell her, because we were having such a great conversation that evening and it just felt right. I just felt how much I can trust her. And I don't regret it at all. It was the right decision. Her reaction was great: She was like "that's no big deal, you don't have to be ashamed because of that"... She really has no problem with it and I am feeling very relieved now. I am even kind of proud of myself that I had the courage to do that, even if it took about an hour til I finally brought out the words... I just never thought that I would do that! And that friend told me something I didn't know and I would have never expected: The girl I'm in love with once had feelings for her!!! So she experienced quite the same! And maybe there's a chance that it might happen to her again..? Now I can be quite sure that she wouldn't take it badly if I told her about my feelings, one day. But she is still together with her boyfriend. For over three months now. I don't remember the last time one of her relationships lasted that long (even if it's only three months). He really means something to her... It sucks. I can't stand the fact that someone else can have her, make her happy and be with her... How should I deal with that? She will never mean as much to him as she means to me. Being in love with someone who doesn't love you always sucks. But being in love with a girl, for me as a female who used to be straight, is really one of the most painful experiences I've ever had... As I already mentioned, I am really glad that the other friend knows it now, and of course I feel relieved, but it also makes me kinda sad... I just feel like she doesn't understand how strong my feelings really are. I think she rather sees it as a crush or even thinks that I am only confused at the moment and that there are no serious feelings on that level... I am also kind of disappointed that she didn't say anything again to that issue... What can I do to deal with such a situation? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 You have to come to some sort of peace with it. Accept the friendship as it is, be lucky to have her in your life - Even if it isn't romantic. Or, come clean even more, lay it all out on the line and tell her how you feel and what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
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