Anon. Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 My boyfriend and I are both 19 and planning to be engaged sometime this summer. We are very serious about each other and deeply in love. However, I am troubled by his past. I have only slept with 2 men before him, while he has had over 10 sexual partners before me. I trust him, and know he would not cheat on me, but I can't seem to put his past behind me. The worst thing is that he doens't even seem to be ashamed or have any regret. Should I feel this way? And how can I forget about his promiscuous past so that I won't be bothered by it anymore? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 He probably doesn't feel ashamed or regretful because thats in the past. He can not go back and change that. Hes probably looking towards the future with you, which is what you might want to do as well. Leave his past where it belongs, in the past. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 We all have a past and the thing is how we deal with!! You should look at it that he was waiting for the right person to come along ,and you got him now ,so why you stressing over things you can't change!!! It is his past and you have a past except it and move on!! You will find that some men are with more partners than some women !! Look at it as him being your teacher and showing you his expierence !! My h has been with 5 including me, and i have been with 2 and the second is my h!! Yes i felt intimidated because he was with more ,and he taught me alot over the years!! So i guess expierence in an relationship is good!! Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 He's probably not bothered by it because his history is just that - history. Now, there's the potential of STDs which you have to be concerned with, but the fact that he gave up the lifestyle of a player to be with you should be a huge ego boost to you, not a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
It's all good Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Are you troubled by his past or the realization that he has had more sex than you. Meaning, do you feel you don't measure up or feel that he has way more experience than you? I had a BF who had more sex than me and I was worried that I was not experienced enough or that he might find me lacking in some way compared to his others. But if he really loves you and you love him, the way you are when your together should be enough, and let go of the what if's. He's planning on making you the only one in the bedroom for the rest of your lives, you must be doing something right! Keep it up! Link to post Share on other sites
sparticuss Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Regrets! Ashamed! What is there to regret or be ashamed of? Why are you trying to shove him onto this guilt trip? Answer me the following question. IN his past has he EVER committed any crime that would get him en years jail plus? IE Murder, rape, large scale drug dealing. No? Then be grateful for the good man you have. You appear to be hung up on a litle girls dream of a hansome prince, or a "perfect man" This good man still isn't perfect but, by gum, if the only problem you can find is a few past lovers than you really have no idea how good you have it. You should be grateful. Not worried. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 He has lived up to [much of] society's requirements for what a man should be -- in his youth he was used to being dumped by women for NOT banging lots of girls -- as far as double standards go, women can be pretty harsh as far as requiring manly conquests before dating a dude. If you really think it will bug you long term, you should consider getting out now. Link to post Share on other sites
BlahBlahQueen Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 Man, this thread makes me feel like a whore. Ten people = promiscuous past??? HAHA... It almost seems like a different universe I'm writing you guys from... Link to post Share on other sites
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