caroline Posted August 10, 1999 Share Posted August 10, 1999 well, i have been in love with this guy for 2 years or more now...we have been together twice......each time we break up is because he doens't know how to handle love.....it's right in his face but he doesn't see it....i know he loves me and i don't want you to think he doesn't.....i can see it in his eyes....i can hear it in his words....but its' his actions that confuse me.....the last time we broke up he wanted to be with his friends more.....well now he is with his friends almost everyday.......we haven't talk in two months and he doesn't even act like it is bothering him.....but i know that in his heart he is hurting and i know he is listening to his friends...because none of them have even come close to being in love...they are to worried about one thing.......and that is sex....but he is not like that....but how can he keep so much inside of him and it not come out once......when here i am hurting so bad......sometimes i feel like i am never going to get over him....i know i should because of the way he has treated me.....but why is it when you love someone so much you just give.......i don't understand that...then the one you are in love with can hold it all in and never let it show.......but if he does ever decide he wants me again i am going to stand up for my heart......if he ever calls me again i will hang up the phone.....i know that is best for me and i need for once in my life do what is best.......but your heart also gets hurt in the process....but i guess that is life....but if anyone has anything they would like to say...i would love to read it... caroline Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan Posted August 10, 1999 Share Posted August 10, 1999 well, i have been in love with this guy for 2 years or more now...we have been together twice......each time we break up is because he doens't know how to handle love.....it's right in his face but he doesn't see it....i know he loves me and i don't want you to think he doesn't.....i can see it in his eyes....i can hear it in his words....but its' his actions that confuse me.....the last time we broke up he wanted to be with his friends more.....well now he is with his friends almost everyday.......we haven't talk in two months and he doesn't even act like it is bothering him.....but i know that in his heart he is hurting and i know he is listening to his friends...because none of them have even come close to being in love...they are to worried about one thing.......and that is sex....but he is not like that....but how can he keep so much inside of him and it not come out once......when here i am hurting so bad......sometimes i feel like i am never going to get over him....i know i should because of the way he has treated me.....but why is it when you love someone so much you just give.......i don't understand that...then the one you are in love with can hold it all in and never let it show.......but if he does ever decide he wants me again i am going to stand up for my heart......if he ever calls me again i will hang up the phone.....i know that is best for me and i need for once in my life do what is best.......but your heart also gets hurt in the process....but i guess that is life....but if anyone has anything they would like to say...i would love to read it... On first inspection, I'm not sure which is the stronger feeling here: his love for you, or your desire to believe and have him love you. Is it possible that maybe he doesn't love you and he was ready to move on from the relationship? I don't think it's fair for you to assume anything else of him other than the way he is interacting with you. Otherwise you leave yourself in a limbo state without any closure. If the relationship has ended and he is not in contact with you...what else can you think but that is what he means? His actions are pretty well defining him in this situation, which is usually true in general for people. I think your best plan of action is not to be waiting by the phone SHOULD he call and what you WOULD do about it. It's time to step outside. Link to post Share on other sites
Cynthia Posted August 11, 1999 Share Posted August 11, 1999 I don't know that it's possible to know so absolutely someone's true inner feelings. It's an easy thing to sit back and imagine that someone is feeling the same deep emotoions that you feel, the more difficult thing is to minutely examine what someone's behavior and actions intimate. Besides, what is important here? His true emotions, which as far as you can tell are similar to yours? He doesn't have the ability ot express those emotions. So what affect could they possibly have on you? Even if he does truely love you he is obviously either unable to express himself or is too easily controlled by the opinions of his friends. So why should you wait for him to grow up or become psychologically healthy? It's your choice, obviously, but I always want to distance myself from someone who causes me an excessive amount of pain. Thus, you have to choose what's more important to you: is it this "love" that is unfulfilling and frustrating and just plain painful? Or is your psychological health and emotional independence more important? In the end, it's all up to you. On first inspection, I'm not sure which is the stronger feeling here: his love for you, or your desire to believe and have him love you. Is it possible that maybe he doesn't love you and he was ready to move on from the relationship? I don't think it's fair for you to assume anything else of him other than the way he is interacting with you. Otherwise you leave yourself in a limbo state without any closure. If the relationship has ended and he is not in contact with you...what else can you think but that is what he means? His actions are pretty well defining him in this situation, which is usually true in general for people. I think your best plan of action is not to be waiting by the phone SHOULD he call and what you WOULD do about it. It's time to step outside. Link to post Share on other sites
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