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We broke up because his fear of commitment?!?


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I'm new to this and I need some advice...

 

My boyfriend of one year and I broke up about five months ago....

Our relationship was great, we were total opposites but got each other and were great together. I knew he was into me and I eventually was into him. We fell in love and everything was great until one day we ran into his ex girlfriend at a local bar. They had not seen nor talked to each other for over two years. She asked him to dinner and he agreed, I wasn't very happy with it but I agreed to it. After they had dinner, I told him that I did not want him talkin to her, there really was no reason too. The way she was acting towards him in front of me was as if she still had feelings for him. We fought about it for about a week and then he told me that she called, I told him that I could not be with someone that could not respect my feelings. I don't ask for much at all, but this was the one thing I was asking for. So we broke up and he agreed. I was miserable and devastated. The following Friday my friends and I go out and I run into him.... The next day he calls and I go over there to drop of the house key and get the rest of my stuff. He talks and tells me how miserable he was and how when I left he wanted me to come right back. But we had broken up so he just let it be. He said he realized how much he missed me and cared for me and regreted it. So we got back together. Everything was great and back to being happy again......

 

A month and a half later... two weeks before we officially broke up, I could sense a change. He didn't say I love you anymore and the things I would normally do for him, he didn't want me to do anymore. So one day I got angry at him and said that was not happy and wanted to break up. He agreed. I was like, what the Fu*k do you mean okay? He said that somehow some way his feelings just changed and he felt that we would not get married so we needed to break up. Marriage was never an issue or a topic and we both have our fears about marriage. I asked him why he felt that he couldn't marry me and he said that he actually thought that he could marry me but some how some way his feelings changed... does this make sense? He doesn't know how, they just did. Was it his parents asking him if he was going to marry me? or when he was going to get married? his brother asking me about marriage? Can a a person be so afraid of commitment that their feelings will change?

 

So we break up and of course I'm devastated. He calls a week later and we try the whole friend thing for about three months. At three months we start hanging out because his friend is trying to hook up with my friend and its a group thing. Well I realize that I still have feelings and can't do it anymore. So I call and tell him that we shouldn't be friends anymore and cut all ties. That lasts about a month and I run into him over the christmas weekend, two nights in a row. We talk and I told him that if he felt that he wanted to call me he could. He said he wouldn't. Well on christmas he calls me and we talk. We have since talked a few times.

 

What does this all mean? Does he just want to be friends? Or is there still some kind of hope?

 

I need some advice. Please help!

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itwontdawnsooner

you get confused and cant be friends, stop contact. you get to talking again eventually. but said youd never talk again. youre conflicted, maybe he is too. the last few questions are probably similar to ones he might be thinking of. question is, how do you feel about what you want?

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