Understanding My Attraction: a Personal Reflection

[ehte01]

I’ve come to realize something about myself recently. I’m 21 now, and while I’ve never dated anyone, I spent most of my school years focused on my studies and building my digital marketing agency. Back then, I wasn’t really interested in girls and actively avoided romantic relationships, thinking it wasn’t important for me at the time.However, now that I’m reflecting on it, I’ve come to understand my feelings a bit better. Instead of being drawn to girls my age, I find myself more interested in older women. It took me a while to realize this, but I think it’s because I value maturity, experience, and emotional stability—traits I often see in women who are older than me.This isn’t something I see as a problem, but it’s a shift in my perspective that I wanted to share and explore. It’s part of my journey in understanding myself better, especially now that I’m more open to relationships

[Sony12]

23 minutes ago, ehte01 said:

I’ve come to realize something about myself recently. I’m 21 now, and while I’ve never dated anyone, I spent most of my school years focused on my studies and building my digital marketing agency. Back then, I wasn’t really interested in girls and actively avoided romantic relationships, thinking it wasn’t important for me at the time.However, now that I’m reflecting on it, I’ve come to understand my feelings a bit better. Instead of being drawn to girls my age, I find myself more interested in older women. It took me a while to realize this, but I think it’s because I value maturity, experience, and emotional stability—traits I often see in women who are older than me.This isn’t something I see as a problem, but it’s a shift in my perspective that I wanted to share and explore. It’s part of my journey in understanding myself better, especially now that I’m more open to relationships

Hey nothing at all wrong with that. There is definitely a market out there for older women and younger men pairings. How much older are you talking about? If you are interested in significantly older women you would probably have better luck with that once you get into your mid to late 20's as many would still consider a 21 year old to be rocking the cradle. I started noticing older women becoming interested in me when I was around 26 or 27. Prior to that it was usually still women around my age that paid me much attention.

 

 

 

Edited September 11 by Sony12

[ehte01]

Thanks for your understanding! I’ve been thinking about it more, and I’m not really sure how much older, but I do find myself more drawn to women who are at least in their late 30s or 340s, sometimes even older. It’s more about the emotional connection and maturity for me, I think.I get what you’re saying about age though, and you’re probably right about it being more common for older women to show interest as I get older myself. I guess I’ll just see how things develop over time. For now, I’m just trying to understand these feelings and not rush into anything. Your perspective helps a lot 

[Sony12]

9 minutes ago, ehte01 said:

Thanks for your understanding! I’ve been thinking about it more, and I’m not really sure how much older, but I do find myself more drawn to women who are at least in their late 30s or 340s, sometimes even older. It’s more about the emotional connection and maturity for me, I think.I get what you’re saying about age though, and you’re probably right about it being more common for older women to show interest as I get older myself. I guess I’ll just see how things develop over time. For now, I’m just trying to understand these feelings and not rush into anything. Your perspective helps a lot 

 

Yeah because many of them are interested in a young person who also has some experience and maturity. Women tend to need more than just physical looks to get them excited. A guy they can find some common interests with is still very important for even the women who are interested in younger men. 

Also if you have never dated older before I wouldn't go after women in their 30's, 40's, or 50's just yet (unless you want to become a gigolo). Date women who might just be a couple years older to start off with and gain some experience from it.

[Gaeta]

Just do what feels good to you as long as you don't use people. When l was your age l prefered older men because they were mature, now in my late 50s my bf is 8 years younger than l because he matches better my energy level.

What we like and feel attracted to does change through our life.

Edited September 11 by Gaeta

[Els]

Honestly, if you're 21 and you're looking for women in their late 30s and 40s, I'm not sure if that's going to turn out well for you. The thing is, most decent women at those ages will be very hesitant to date a 21-yo, because it feels borderline exploitative or grooming. You could literally be their child. For the most part, the ones that will express strong interest in you are probably going to be people who are best avoided. This isn't gender-related, by the way - I'd say the same thing to a 21-yo woman who wants to date men in their 40s.

If you're looking at just 5-10 years older then you might have better luck.

Edited September 11 by Els

[Sony12]

1 hour ago, Els said:

Honestly, if you're 21 and you're looking for women in their late 30s and 40s, I'm not sure if that's going to turn out well for you. The thing is, most decent women at those ages will be very hesitant to date a 21-yo, because it feels borderline exploitative or grooming. You could literally be their child. For the most part, the ones that will express strong interest in you are probably going to be people who are best avoided. This isn't gender-related, by the way - I'd say the same thing to a 21-yo woman who wants to date men in their 40s.

If you're looking at just 5-10 years older then you might have better luck.

 

Yep. Now there definitely are women who date men their children's age however the vast majority of the time those men will be older than their early 20's. Late twenties into the early 30's is generally the point where older women can look at an attractive younger guy without feeling like she would be committing a crime if she took him back to her place.

Most women who go out with men in their early 20's either enjoy the idea of being a sugar momma or they are paying for sex.

[Els]

21 hours ago, Sony12 said:

 

Yep. Now there definitely are women who date men their children's age however the vast majority of the time those men will be older than their early 20's. Late twenties into the early 30's is generally the point where older women can look at an attractive younger guy without feeling like she would be committing a crime if she took him back to her place.

Most women who go out with men in their early 20's either enjoy the idea of being a sugar momma or they are paying for sex.

Yes, exactly. When someone gets to their late 20s, they've at least had a decade of adulthood behind them, they've seen the world a bit. They're an actual adult, whereby they're in a position where they can truly decide for themselves what they want.