should one child be favored over another

[unworthy daughter]

I really need some help if anyone can take the time. I'm 17 year old girl who lives with both parents and one brother. To my mom my brother is the best thing that was ever put on this earth. No matter what he does he never gets punished. A month ago he was put into a detention center for stealing. He and a friend he had spent the night with decided they wanted to go "shopping" his friends mother drove them 2 hours away from home to let them have fun and my brother walked out of the store with a pair of earings that he had the money in his pocket to buy. But being the way he is; he thinks he is invincible. My mother was torn into a millions peices when she found out her precisious 14 year old son had done such a thing. But you see he didnt get into trouble, when he came home he sat down beside of mom and she was rubbing his back telling him how much she loved him and worried about him.

I got engaged at christmas and my mom didnt even act like she was happy or excited or anything. She made me feel like Matthew and I would never be together, she was mad at me because he proposed. I'll be 18 in 6 months and she still wants me to be the perfect role modle for my brother; but I think I really disapointed her yesterday. I decided to skip school with Matthew, my best friend Amber and her boyfriend Luke to take him 3 hours away from home to the airport so he could go to Montana and see his family. Luke has been in the military and it is the first time

Amber has saw him in 8 months. So needless to say she was very upset that he was leaving and when he retunred in a week he could stay 9 more days then back to Germany. Amber had no way to take him to the airport so the night before we went she called and asked if Matt and I would drive her to the airport. Hesitatnly I said yes. I had left the house at 7:30 in the morning like I was going to school and didint return home until 8:00 last night. Its not because I was trying to make them mad by neing gone so long. We didnt leave town until 11:30 and we left Luke standing at the airport at 4:30, we took a wrong turn which took us an hour out of the way until finding our way back on the right road. When I got home mom was standing at the door waiting on me; she knew the whole story, she had talked to Ambers mom and Matthews Grandma, she knew everything. She called me a liar and said she was disapointed in me. She actually said "I had hopes for this world because of you, and then you turn around and do stupid **** like this." how can a mother make a child feel like that. She didnt say she was worried she was mad because I didnt go to school. I got grouned for a month no phone, no internet, I cant go anywhere, I'm not even allowed out of my room unless it is necessary. But I dont care about any of that the worst thing she did was take Matthew away, I cant talk to him or see him for a month. I wish someone could take a look through my eyes and see what I am going through and then tell me if I'm crazy, or if the favoritism I see towards my brother is real.

[Touche]

For the most part, ALL kids think that their parents like/love their siblings more. You'll see when you have kids of your own. No matter WHAT you do to treat them as equally as you can, they'll say the same thing.

 

It probably looks like that to you because maybe, just maybe, your mom expects more from you than your brother right now. He still has a lot of growing up to do but you are almost an adult. But you're still acting like a child sometimes. Of course she was worried about you when you were gone, but she was also angry that you lied and acted like you were going to school.

 

My son once disappeared. We were on vacation and he was playing with a friend. He told me where he was going to be but when I went and checked a little while later he was not where he said he'd be. I was panicked...no one saw him. He just disappeared. This was at a campground. We went around asking people and after about an hour, I was VERY, VERY worried. I was crying and I thought my life is over. I will end my life if anything happened to him. I was a mess crying and having these suicidal thoughts.

 

Well, we finally found him. But did he see the crying and know of my thoughts? NO! I yelled, I told him he better NEVER do that again, etc. He didn't see the worry, the crying.

 

See any similarity between that story and yours? And when you're a mother it will be the same way and YOUR child will say "Gee, she wasn't even worried about me..blah blah."

 

By the way you're WAY too young to be engaged. I'd be so pissed if I were your mother. Mark my words dear, your marriage has almost NO chance of working out. I give it 5 years TOPS. Don't do it! I know you think he's the guy for you and there will never be anyone else but you'll see...trust me.

 

Your mother loves you with every fibre of her being..believe me. It's just so hard to stand by and see your kids mess up their lives. And as far as your brother...you're only seeing what you want to see. I'd bet anything on it. And of course she expects more from you than of him...he's a child and like I said, you're almost an adult. It's really bothering her that you're making childish mistakes at this stage of the game. She expects more of you.

 

She loves you. Don't disappoint her, ok?