A weird feeling.

[Urbanwarrior]

Hello there,

 

I have some need for advice here..

There is this one girl, from the moment i met her i have this strange feeling.. like we know each other for a very long time. I have never really dated her or befriended her, but she comes and goes in my life in some strange ways. i tried to make a move once but i was not in a good space then and it didnt really go anywhere. We flirted a little bit but nothing else 

When i was younger (im 36 now) i had this strange calmness around her. Like we can talk without speaking when locking eyes.

Like i said after i came out of a long toxic relationship she reapeared after i added her on instagram without any feelings behind it.. she just popped on suggestions list and i added her. 

From there on it gets stranger for me.

 

I convinced myself for a short time that she's the one.. because of the weird gut feeling she gave me. After i had a feeling it went nowhere  i managed to let it go by refocusing on myself.

And now she started apearing more. I went to go for a drink with a friend in another city. And all of a sudden shes right next to me with another guy. Me already convinced shes not for me just cheered her with my glass against her and she smiled and winked at me. Because she was with another guy i just left it at that and go stand somewhere else. But everytime my eyes fell on her she is looking at me. Nothing to special and my friend convinced me to just leave for another bar.

One year later my sister asked me to get some furniture she bought online in another city. and when we arived i noticed her right away in the car behind us. We parked and went to the adress and guess what.. She lives in the house right next door. She started a conversation with my little nephews all sweet and laughing. But i ignored her cause shes now in a relationship with some guy living together and i already convinced me shes not for me even tough my gut tells me something different i keep ignoring it.

 

I got a new relationship and i dont even think about her anymore.. fast forward 1,5 years later im single again.. after a couple months working on myself i never even tought about her i decided one day to go for a walk in a big park 10 miles away. On the way there in the car out of nowhere she pops up in my mind wondering for a minute about her. But i told myself no this is no reality she probably already married and is pregnant by now so i pushed it away thinking about something else.. well guess who i bumped into in the park. Her and her man. They both greeted me and i was in a bit of a shock. How can i think about her after 2 years randomly and the next moment i bump into her in a totaly random space i was heading for?

I did some research and found some stuff about synchronicity but im really down to earth so not really into that stuff so im having a hard time believing all this spriritual stuff.

Now we are 6 months further and two weeks ago i changed my profile picture on FB.. All of a sudden she appears everywhere on FB like my search suggestions, on top of friends suggestions.. 

 

There are acouple of other weird coincidences that happened but then the story will get to long. Im not looking for a pattern here or reafirming to myself that she is the one after things like this happen

 

I understand that it sounds a little obsessed but trust me im not.. I keep telling myself shes probably not for me cause i spotted her with other guys a couple time..  but why does she keep reapering in my life in weird ways that i cant really explain.. im not searching for no patterns here or hoping she will one day love me.. i just want to keep on going with my life understanding that your feelings can play games with you and its in some ways a fabric of my own mind. But everytime im on track she keeps reapering on random places at random times when i least expect it. 

For me she already showed shes not interested in a romantic life together and i accepted that. When i think about it i just hopes shes happy with her man and starts a nice family.  Still the gut feeling stays like we have some telepathic connection.. i know it sounds weird.

Do i just have to accept that there is some kind of connection but thats it? shes just someone who pops up now and then nothing more than that? im not pursuing anything with her and im not obsessing ( i get plenty of attention and chances with other women ) 

 

Where should i place her in my life and does anyone have some tips how to accept that this is just her part in my life?

 

[Gebidozo]

First of all, thank you for sharing this story, I really enjoyed reading it.

I haven’t had anything exactly like you describe, but maybe something close to that. I first met this woman four years ago and we clicked instantly and I had this strange feeling that I’d known her forever. For various reasons, we couldn’t be together back then. She was with other guys, I was with other women. Long story short, now we are engaged.

Look, I’m an incurable romantic and I say go for it. Find her, talk to her, tell her about your feelings. Who knows what will happen. You say she’s been with other guys - so what? You’ve been with other girls too. What if she is unhappy in her relationship or she just broke up. Of course you might get rejected again and hurt, but at least you will know.

[SurfCity]

7 hours ago, Urbanwarrior said:

i tried to make a move once but i was not in a good space then and it didnt really go anywhere.

What does this mean? Did you ask her on a date? Did she say yes, did you go on the date? 

Over and over in your post you describe how you ignore her for this reason or that reason when you randomly encounter her. Maybe next time you see her instead of ignoring her, talk to her. 

[Urbanwarrior]

1 hour ago, SurfCity said:

What does this mean? Did you ask her on a date? Did she say yes, did you go on the date? 

Over and over in your post you describe how you ignore her for this reason or that reason when you randomly encounter her. Maybe next time you see her instead of ignoring her, talk to her. 

Thank you for the replies,, 

 

Well no. This was around the time i came right out of the toxic relationship and i was hurt like a little b.  I needed to reexplore everything but she was right back there like the magnet she was popping up everywhere. I didnt aproach her because she was with another man or i was too scared i guess.. 

 

Again its not like im secretly hoping she falls into my arms. Im a pretty grounded person. it would be the perfect thing to happen but lets be realistic here. im not gonna hold on to that tought. It feels like ive had my chsnce because last thing ive seen she was living with another man and that was maybe half a year ago.

 

Its just the fact that so many coincidences happened for the most part of my life and it will be back i suspect! 

Maybe im just being too softhearted here and just push it away  

 

[mark clemson]

On 9/20/2024 at 3:17 AM, Urbanwarrior said:

I did some research and found some stuff about synchronicity but im really down to earth so not really into that stuff so im having a hard time believing all this spriritual stuff.

 Im not looking for a pattern here

And yet, here you are.

 

On 9/20/2024 at 3:17 AM, Urbanwarrior said:

Do i just have to accept that there is some kind of connection but thats it? shes just someone who pops up now and then nothing more than that? im not pursuing anything with her and im not obsessing ( i get plenty of attention and chances with other women ) Where should i place her in my life and does anyone have some tips how to accept that this is just her part in my life?

Whatever the physical "connection" is or isn't, it will be whatever the two of you make of it. I think the bolded statement above is the most likely outcome in practical terms.

However, one of the core aspects of "synchronicity" is symbolism. It's a sort of "message from the universe." The appearance of this woman in your life likely means something to you at some level. Perhaps it means you're tired of/done with a prior relationship. Perhaps it means you've "learned lessons" WRT to personal growth (in relationships, perhaps). Perhaps she's associated with a time of major change and a sort of reassurance?

Understand that the symbolism/meaning carried by a synchronicity is different from the thing itself. She represents something, but she isn't necessarily that something herself. For example, she could represent the ideal of a life partner for you, but not actually be that life partner herself.

I think putting your finger on whatever it is she symbolizes to/for you is the key to understanding whatever the "message" is that you are receiving (by encountering her).

Edited September 29 by mark clemson