Just asking for a little guidance

[johnnie]

Ok heres the highlights. Met a great girl shes 30 i'm 32 been dating for two months so its still a new relationship. It's been awhile since i have been involved with anyone. I feel myself falling for her,which is not a bad thing,but I did already mention about her and I dating each other exclusively. Her response was 'Why can't we keep things the way they are? It's not like I'm dating a hundred other guys.'Well I now shes not seeing anyone else just because of the time we have spent together,she wouldn't have time to see anyone and we have both talked about how we have both been cheated on in the past.

 

I have told her a few times how wonderful I think she is and she'll just come back and say 'I think your pretty cool too!' and smile. Is it just too soon to be talking like I have been and mentioning about just seeing each other? Is that her way of just protecting herself for now till we get to know more about one another? We definitely enjoy each others company and conversation. She has even cancelled plans with her friends to go and do something with me. I said she didn't have to do that and we could get together later. Is this just a her way of saying 'I do care' without actually saying it?

 

I feel like I am learning all over again that's why I am asking for a little advice here, don't want to lose her because I am jumping ahead of the game.

[Elle]

It has been my experience that it is somewhat unrealistic to expect two people in a relationship to feel the same way at the same time. In other words, it sounds like you have reached the next plateau before she did. It doesn't mean that she won't get there as well, but it has to happen on her terms. Don't push and don't expect, don't stress yourself or her out, just let her be and let her arrive at her own conclusions in her own time. If it's meant to happen, it will.

 

In the meantime, she appears to be enjoying your company and wanting to spend time with you, so be happy about that and be glad that your feelings for her are getting stronger - it's a wonderful gift!

[Tony T]

1. "Is it just too soon to be talking like I have been and mentioning about just seeing each other?"

 

At her age, she's heard all the lines...some of which you probably haven't even dreamed of. Take your time. This lady's in no hurry. Undoubtedly she's been hurt a number of times by guys whose lines were nicer than yours. Use the endearments sparingly in these first months of your dating.

 

2. "Is that her way of just protecting herself for now till we get to know more about one another?"

 

Maybe. Or she may just not be very good with accepting or giving expressions of affection. She may have come from a home where there were few if any verbal or physical demonstrations of affection. Get to know her better. Ask some questions later on.

 

3. "Is this just a her way of saying 'I do care' without actually saying it?"

 

Absolutely. People tend to do what they most want to do. If she would rather be with you than do things with friends, that's a great sign. And, yes, that may be her way of signalling her fondness for you if she is unable to do it in other ways at this time.

 

4. "I feel like I am learning all over again that's why I am asking for a little advice here, don't want to lose her because I am jumping ahead of the game."

 

We are all learning all the time. So when you have figured out women all over again, please post your findings here for all to see. Thanking you in advance.

[Rogue]

It's very very very important to always take into acccount how she feels the relationship is progressing.Trying to rush her into something she's not all that ready for is a BIG MISTAKE!

 

She likes you, and she's starting feel more than "like".But if you keep bringing up the subject of going steady , you'll give her the impression that you're not in-tune to how she feels. You'll come across as someone who trying cling or someone who isn't considerate or someone trying to monopolize her.You don't want that do you?

 

The next time going steady comes up in the

 

conversation...it better be HER who brings it up, not you.

 

Don't bring up the subject again.You've already told her twice, so SHE KNOWS you want to take it to the next level.No need to nag. Just keep enjoying her company,make her feel good about herself, control yourself, and you'll score big on brownie points!!!!